Thursday, October 09, 2008
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Invasion of the Church Donut Snatchers
by mr pine Our church spends a decent amount of money on doughnuts every week for the fellowship hour immediately following service. I know this because our church's finances are pretty transparent, and we release a detailed budget report every year.
Recently I've noticed that we hardly have any leftover doughnuts like we used to before. So I put on my sleuthing cap and uncovered a doughnut smuggling operation...
It's always the people you suspect the least...
Apparently this senior citizen version of Bonnie and Clyde (wearing their gang colors of white socks with black shoes) have been at this for several weeks, getting bolder each week they've been getting away with it. It started with a couple doughnuts wrapped in a napkin discreetly tucked away in her purse, but they've now taken it to a whole new level.
This is how their operation works:
Grandma goes for the doughnuts, acting like she's going to just chow down on the free refreshment...
Then she returns to her temporary base of operations, where her husband is keeping watch, to stash away her booty into her purse...
And just like that, a dozen or so doughnuts go missing each week...
I'm thinking of turning them in to the snacks committee police... you know, and have their coffee privileges revoked for a year. They don't even actually attend our services. Considering we're probably supplying all the goodies for when their grandkids visit them, you'd think they could at least sit through one of our sermons.
Now before you start yelling at me for being a meanie to some sweet older people, I'm not being serious. I'm just responding to Mr. Willow's call to not take ourselves too seriously. (plus they're not that sweet... the lady routinely shoves people aside to get at her favorite doughnuts).
I guess it's rude, but I think it's more funny than anything else, because if you think about it... she had to plan ahead to do this... to get a plastic baggie from home, bring a large enough purse to fit all these doughnuts, and to only take them one at a time to not arouse suspicion.
I mean, it's not like she's breaking the bank by doing this. Maybe what we should do is just set out a separate box out for her marked, "For the old lady who takes all our doughnuts... please take these and go in peace."
Which might bring up a good point... if you wanted to, how could you deal with this in the most edifying way possible? I mean, in the big picture it's trivial, but I guess there's something about letting people get away with rudeness that comes into play.
I guess what could be funnier (or sadder) is that someone bothered to follow her around and take pictures and then write a whole entry about it...
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Comments (64)
heh..that reminds me of our "choir" donuts. It's amazing how many people are suddenly part of the choir for a few seconds each week! (me sometimes included
)
I enjoyed this... but I think it would be so much funnier if you would have called this older lady out in front of everyone.
Nevermind... that could be more destructive than I imagined at first...
I used to go to Bible Study in middle school on free donut day and play game boy while enjoying the free donuts. Good times.
My first instinct is maybe they are hungry??? Try "sleuthing" around about what their lives might be like outside of church. It might not be that case... but you could also be in the position to help them out if they need it? Cute story though!
Why is this worth posting at all?
I think your church can afford to lose a dozen or so donuts, especially seeing how many boxes you already have in picture #3. If they don't get sick of them after a while, they probably need them badly (as per BHuggins' comment). But yes, reminds me of my grandparents. =P
i know many people who went to church for free donuts before they actually found Christ. Perhaps it's worth a few dozen or hundreds of donuts...do they speak English? Have you ever talked to them before? Pray that soon they'd be that enthusiastic about storing away the Word of God in their hearts. I'm sure they are there for a reason. :) Thanks for sharing.
Haha, this reminds me of a lady at my church back home. We had to change the way that the tithes and offerings were collected because every week she was caught taking money out of the collection as it passed! We felt badly for her, because she was an older homeless lady with some mental problems. But that isn't quite how the homeless ministry was supposed to work!
Hahaha! There's probably a list of all of the other churches to hit up at the bottom of that lady's purse.
At my church, I find that if you just hang out in the fellowship hall long enough, there are always tons of leftovers. Whoever is in charge of cleanup for the month is usually begging people to take boxes home.
First other than age, there are many people in this world with different ways of thinkings and doing things differently in many differently places. If there is someone who didn't line up to get on the bus, as a bus driver or a passenger, I would politely and nicely approach them, tell them that they need to line up to get on the bus, this is how people do things in etc situation in etc place. Coz sincerely, they may not realize this is how things run in same situation in differently places.
And same in this donut situation, plus they are elders. Their thinking may be....I think discuss this with the pastor is a better idea, instead of announce loudly in the public or write a memo on a box of donut. And perhaps there are other people who also notice this. Even if they are not elders, I would still do the same. I don't want to embarrass them and stop them from going to church. I mean, look at their actions, it's obvious that they are people who need Christ to heal them, right?
i would buy them a box. each. lol
that is hilarious. :) what is not so hilarious is that i know many people who would actually be upset about it.
I guess I would just try to find a moment (soon after they get there) to personally bring them a special box of donuts and spend some time chatting with them. Hey, if they're going to take them, why not use that time to reach out? :)
This reminds me of the heated debate in my church of whether or not we should build a (very expensive) wall to keep the neighbors from biking/walking on our parking area. Because a few extra kids walking on it or playing basketball on it during the week might make it wear out a little faster...
I think it would probably be best to just let it slide in this case and never bring it up. Please don't embarrass them in front of other people or admonish them. Instead get to know them and maybe if they feel comfortable ask them out for lunch sometime. They might have been drawn in by the doughnuts, but God might really use this opportunity (of you noticing them) to bring Christ into their lives. You may be very surprised to find that they will actually be a blessing to you somehow (often the case).
this made me chuckle. lol
@youtome - even though reading this story made me chuckle, i very much agree with you!
I have to ask the same question @eclipse_the_dawn@xanga asked, "Why is this worth posting at all?"
I feel embarrassed for this couple. And embarrassed for your church. This is not a sitcom, it involves real people. We don't know their financial situation or if they take the donuts to someone else in need and so on...They feel your church setting is a safe place to come for them (at least up until now). There are plenty of people already in need out there and very few resources to help them.
I think the most edifying thing would be to first consider what God wants to teach your church through this couple and how you can love them like Jesus would. Here is an opportunity to minister coming right into your midst.
For I was hungry and you gave me food...Then the righteous will answer him, saying, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you...And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me...Then he will say to those on his left, Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food....
What would Jesus do?!!?
This is what I might do:
After the next church service, walk up to them with a box full of high quality assorted donuts, complimentary from the church.
They'd either not come back again.. or start going for the service.
wow I don't like this post at all. those are someone's parents and grandparents to take pictures of them and post them up like that for a LAUGH. I don't like it at all.
My opinion is the same of many who already posted a comment. You said they don't attend the sermon. If they have been coming for a any period of time at all, someone should have been speaking to them and getting to know them and inviting them to attend the sermon. I hope someone has/is doing that. This is a ministry opportunity, I hope you and your church don't miss it.
@naphtali_deer@xanga - I completely agree with this assessment.
Quite honestly I think it's really sad that in a church, where people are supposed to be safe, someone comes under automatic criticism for this. What if they are hungry? What if they're scared about the things going on in the world today and are socking away every spare thing they find? What if there is a health issue going on?
I may be naive, but I think it's much better to find a way to broach the subject with an individual rather than automatically assume the worst. That goes doubly at church.
Mr. Pine, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just suggesting a second look at your own motivations, your personal role in the providing of doughnuts, and who would be the best person to talk to this couple (because based on this post, I would not suggest you be the one to do that.)
@mrsmarkwith@xanga - i know, it gave me a momentary chuckle too..but then i realized how hurt and embarrassed they would be if they ever knew they were on xanga =/
@naphtali_deer@xanga - i wholeheartedly agree
@Edizzy@xanga - yeah, i agree with you =/