jesus_freak4God's Revelife

What Now...????

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:18:00 GMT

Hey guys, I really just want to ask if ya'll could pray for a good friend of mine. Actually, the guy I've been writing about. God has revealed a lot to me...including the fact that this guy is not with the Lord like he was. I'm not going to be scared anymore though, because honestly...as far as I'm concerned, the devil is no match for God. God's infinitely more powerful and I know that my best friend is in good hands...but it's heartbreaking to see such a beautiful soul being snared by the Enemy. I don't know why...but I think I feel evil a little bit more than some people. *shrugs*

This guy is one of the most compassionate giving souls that I know...he's finally happy being single, but he needs the Lord. I know I can't be the one to interfere this time. Not unless God tells me to. He just needs prayer, a lot of it. His best friend is leaving on Wednesday and my dear buddy doesn't know what he's going to do. It's amazing how strong and how heavy spiritual warfare can be sometimes.

I also would just request prayer for my father and mother. My father's been addicted to drugs for some 26 years or so...my mom has had the same problem. My sister has been addicted to heroin, done crack and only the Lord knows what else for the past 10 years...my brother is getting off of pot..thank goodness. Please pray for them.

I am praying for all of you...please leave me prayer requests if you have them. I love to pray. Seriously. I love just talking to God. It's wonderful. So, let me know what I can do for ya.

GOD ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYERS!!! DONT DOUBT IT...I DID...READ WHAT HAPPENED...

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:38:00 GMT

I started dating this guy back in....*raises eyebrow*...December some time and was reluctant even then because I was on a "I'm anti-dating" spree...(I've come to realize this goal is realistic for some people...not everyone...) I had always prayed that he would become more dependent on the Lord and not need me to be happy. I prayed he would open up to other people...

As time passed, we grew closer...but he fell in love with me. I was scared and naive and had no idea what power i was invoking. He would come to me for everything and refused to open up to others. What neither of us saw then was that God was watching us the whole entire time. We broke up or went on breaks too many times for me to remember anymore...someone else could probably tell you though. Heh. He would become too dependent on me or I on him...and I figured that he would never open up to other people.

Well, after a very long two or three months...I broke up with him in May...I believe it was...yeah. End of April beginning of May...We made a huge mistake and crossed a boundary with each other. Don't get bad ideas, it wasn't awful. No sex. lol At the time it felt like the right thing....and I realize now that it was...but about two weeks ago I discovered that I still had feelings for him. Very strong ones. I myself, the anti-dating, I'm-not-going-to-fall-in-love girl had fallen in love. It wasn't fun for the first month...Satan had his grips in me and I let him take me away.

Every night I worried that there was someone else and my friend (he was my best friend too...)was lying to me. I beat myself up endlessly for ignoring him when he need me and came to the conclusion that being broken-hearted was my punishment for giving up on him so quickly. It hadn't been quickly though. In reality. We both needed something different and God gave me the resolve. Didn't realize it till...yesterday maybe. Haha.

I finally spoke to my friend last night and he explained to me exactly what he's been up to.

...Remember how I'd prayed that he'd lean more on God and be happy without me? Be happy being single first? Be able to open up to others? Remember how my faith had been so small that I didn't think it'd ever happen?

He's doing all of those things. AND He still has feelings for me. How does this work? I don't know.

don't assume anything. EVER. EVER EVER EVER. I did and God slammed me for it last night. I didn't even believe that my friend would tell me the truth. he did. all of it. and on top of that...he was patient, understanding, and compassionate about the whole thing.

As women we tend to overanalyze....but that can be dangerous. As difficult as it may seem, especially with hormones running rampant around your body all of the time...don't overthink anything. And I mean anything. If you don't know the answer to something and you're struggling with it...TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE. Don't assume you're right. And if you feel that you're making assumptions...get rid of them. Assumptions are dumb. You know what they say about those? It's true. lol

Anyway....God always answers prayer, just not in the time or place we usually want it. Be patient. Wait, wait, wait on the Lord. Always. He's listening. I guarantee.

God Bless.

In the Heart of Christ,

Alexandra

teenagers are dumb. lol

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 04:13:00 GMT

I apologize ahead of time if the aforementioned fact repels anyone. I actually say that more toward myself than others...but teenagers, oh my gosh. We're psychotic.

Here's a list of things I think are funny about teenagers:

1. We forget we're teenagers half the time (we try to do adult things like drink, have sex...); for myself...i forget because i usually avoid doing things most kids my age do...but I'm SOOOOO a teen it's not even funny. Really. it's not. don't laugh.

2. We are convinced that we're not understood. Adults realize that sometimes...they're not completely understood by everyone, but we teens tend to think we're all on our own and the best way to solve our problems is by running from them. (actually..a lot of people do that...)

3. We seem to think that while we're teens...being a teen is a...perpetual state of being...it just goes on and on forever...therefore...why should we think of our consequences? In other words, we do before we think. We're like stuck in this...bubble...

4. Ties in with three. We like to pretend they don't...but our hormones are SOOOO raging. It's ridiculous. Half of the time we're fueled more by physical desires than by spiritual ones or mental ones. Those of us who know God long for Him...but (this speaking for myself as well) we still have issues dealing with the idea that God is our husband, brother, father; God is EVERYONE and EVERYTHING we'll ever need.

5. Even though we may act like we're not teens in some areas...in others we, could use a little growing up. The common trend in dating is that we date to date, not to marry. And yeah, that seems old fashioned, the courting and all that...but by the time we've dated through high school...we'll already have given up probably...65% of ourselves to other people. Maybe not that much...but more than we realize.

6. We're naive. How many of us jump into things, relationships, or friendships...and don't think about what WE need to give. People aren't just pawns. They have feelings. We need to think of consequences to them when we act like idiots. (myself included, again.)

7. we're at least four days a week swimming in drama. Some people grow up loving drama their whole lives, but us teens...we thrive on it. Actually, I think people are strange that way. But, there's a difference between drama (which is unnecessary crisis) and actual crises. Crises help us to grow and change...so does drama...but for the most part, drama is completely unnecessary.

8. We don't respect adults. Not all of us have issues with this...but adults are amazing. God put them in our lives for a good reason. THEYVE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN WE HAVE. God's given them wisdom, insight, and knowledge we can't possibly possess. Sure, we may act like we're older sometimes...but they're the ones who have seen wars and seen pain and suffering like we can't imagine. We should give 'em a chance.

lol k...i'm done rambling about this now. I need to work on all of these too. So no worries. I don't say stuff unless I know it's true for myself. I don't have a problem with 8 though. 'Bout the only one. Haha.

What do you think is true about yourself that you might want to share with someone? If there's something anyone wants to chat about...I'm open. I love relating to people. Especially right now. I'm actually just beginning to realize how very much of a teenager I am. I'm almost 18 too. Haha. Funny.

"oh life.."

G'night ya'll.

-Alex

Told you I would laugh.

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:41:00 GMT

I love how it's not even a month later and I'm already laughing at that poem. The emotions were real enough, but they weren't coming from a joy in the Lord. I let that joy fade away in light of Satan's enticing lies and painful memories.

I went to Summerfest again tonight, second night in a row (got home about half an hour ago...lol) and saw 12 Stones, RED, and SKILLET...whom I'm in love with, might I add. God spoke to me through those three bands. It was a strange healing process, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

Praise God for His ability to speak to us in whatever medium He knows we'll hear. Praise God for creativity. Praise God for forgiveness and kindess. Thank God for life. Don't be afraid to have fun. You never know when God might be in it.

This is gonna be something I laugh at in a month. Oh well. Here goes.

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 05:46:14 GMT

With every breath I take I think I'm better,
Then one comes and the dam breaks.
I see his face in my mind, a reflection of memories,
I remember his arms, a haven when I had no parents.

Why did I let myself get this close,
Why didn't I stay away?
Now I'm barely swimming in this well,
I can't remember the last time I fell so far.

I'm the one who said goodbye,
Now I want to say hello old friend.
He won't even talk to me,
I can't just let go. I don't know how.

I know he's got other things going on,
Probably nothing involving myself.
But I can't help but worry for him,
I wish he'd say he's found someone else.

I didn't remember it hurting this much,
To try and let someone go.
Yet even as I sit here,
My cheeks are flooded in tears.

I order myself to stop crying,
Stupid fool, let it go.
Then I go numb inside,
I can't even put a smile on my face.

Lord I need you. Please save me.
I don't know how to let go.
I love him too much.
I want to run away.

It seems that I'm too afraid,
Lord I need you to take this away.
Please take this away from me.
Help me to become more willing.
I'm so scared.
Please, help me.

God's Call

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:20:47 GMT

It makes me laugh...I ignored God's call for...at least 11 years. When I was little, I didn't really know better. Then I turned 13 and everything went down hill. I continued to ignore God. I based my whole life on relationships with guys to fill a void in my heart that I knew existed. I couldn't explain why it was there, but I felt it. It wasn't until I was 15 that I accepted Jesus. God put someone in my life who prayed for me for two years. On her knees.

Now, at 17 years old...I'm going across the sea for the second time, to experience God in a way I never dreamed. I went across the sea last summer to visit England and France. I met someone there, who's now one of my best friends, and he *perhaps not for the best reasons at first...hahaha* got me going to church again. I met Pastor Bryan there. He's THE COOLEST YOUTH PASTOR EVER!!!!! I got hooked on the Youth Group. Now...less than a year later...I'm going to a country where I don't speak the language. At all.

If it were up to me...boy, my life would still be a mess. God can do amazing things for us if we just cling to His plan. If we trust Him, the possibilities for our lives are immeasurable.

The hardest thing to do though, by far, is wait. Waiting on God is not easy. Just when you think something's going to happen, it may not. Or just when you think you've got something He's about to do figured out, He goes the opposite direction.

Whatever you do, never allow yourself to become numb because of some pain in your life. That's one of the biggest mistakes we can make. I've done it. A few times. When you go numb, you are telling God that He no longer has the right to your life and you want control of everything. You lose bits and pieces of who you are.

'Cause, let's be honest, who really has any clue who they are when they don't know God? Maybe some people have got what they want and they've got life figured out, all the power to 'em. But what point is there to life if we're just going to rot in the ground?

lol I'm not meaning to be one of those people who tells everyone they're going to hell. Haha.

God is a loving God, and He wants us to trust Him. He's a jealous God; God put emotions like that into women, you know? God gets jealous when we push Him away and direct all of our attention to other things. He loves us and He wants us to be joyful and happy. Why else would He have sacrificed his only Son Jesus?

If you're having trouble with waiting on God, go through the Bible and find all the places where God has asked people to wait, or all the verses that talk about waiting.

What do those people receive when they wait on Him? They receive everything beyond their wildest expectations.

Sarah was told by God that she would have a child. She waited until she was possibly even PAST child-bearing years and she was still given that child.

At least...I think it was Sarah. Might have been someone else. lol A lot of wonderful women in the Bible. Despite what people think.

Anyway, my point is...WAIT ON GOD.

Don't force decisions.

Trust me when I say that won't be easy, but the reward will be great.

God Bless

G'night

-Alex

God's Beauty and Grace

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 05:45:58 GMT

Wow...yesterday...

I got home from my dear friend's about...an hour ago. Walking around the lake, buying gelatto (probably butchered that spelling) and watching a scary movie with he and a girlfriend was surprisingly relaxing. At 6:30pm yesterday, I was part of an X-Treme worship service that rocked my world. Two or three times the CD we were using died and we sang without it. God's awesome. We were depending on that CD to help us get through the night and have perfect singing and dancing...did that happen? NO WAY! When I was leading two songs, I forgot some words...and it was wonderful.

The summer seems to keep going and I keep thinking that the plans I'm making will eventually...make sense. Or work out, but they don't. I love that too. I made plans to break up with someone and forget about everything, I made plans to push my emotions away and move on. I made plans to visit colleges and go straight back to working every day of the week. I made plans to sleep early. HAHAHAHA. Right. I made plans to write a story for my friend, a book. I made plans to get up at 7 or 8 every morning and pray right on time. I made plans to pray every night at a specific time and to not bother with worship. (by the worship I mean, I never planned on leading any worship or being on a stage. Last night changed that. =D) Just about the only plan I had that has come through is listening to God and following Him despite any cost it might bring. God's crazy. In a good way.

I make plans to eat dinner at a specific time...let me tell you, I don't bother anymore. hehe. it doesn't matter.

God says in the Bible that we should lay our plans down before Him.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

i'm thinkin that's a good plan. =D

G'night...or...G'day, I suppose. Heh.

How Amazing Is Our God?

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:40:44 GMT

I can't even tell you how amazing he is. There aren't enough words in all the world to do that.

I was at a funeral today for Mrs. Judie Raether. I haven't met her, but she's with Jesus now and lives are still being touched by her. God used her in ways I can only dream of. She adopted I think...was it eight children? I'm not sure, but it was a lot. They were from Milwaukee and she loved them like her own. She also had her own children. The words spoken at her funeral that really blew me away were these ones. "If you have boundaries, take them down. Whatever you think is important or whatever boundaries you put up around yourself as far as people and time and effort, take them down. God will use you."

How many times do we put up boundaries for ourselves? Boundaries for how much time we can spend doing something? Boundaries for how much we can do for a person? Why not just let go of all our pretenses and let God do the boundary setting? God tells us in the Bible exactly how to live; Judie Raether was a living translation of the Word. Amazing. God puts up boundaries for us naturally. The boundaries that say to avoid what makes others fall down. Avoid bringing shame to others. Live at peace with one another as much as possible.

Above all...let's stop trying to "do the right thing" or "make the right move" and let Christ live through us. That's the only way we'll change. The pastor said that today. It's true. Really. We'll never be perfect because we were born sinners. But we have the LIVING. BREATHING. LOVING. God of all inside of us. Who can hide that?

Je me sens...je ne sais pas (I'm adding more...hehe)

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:16:42 GMT

I feel like blogging something completely random. Although, I must ask. Is anything really RANDOM? Or...are our thoughts just alterations of other things? Anyway. I ditched philosophy a year ago...I'm not good at it anymore. lol

        She turned away, tears streaming down her cheeks in the icy autumn breeze. Her chestnut hair was dripping and her eyelashes were heavy with sorrow. Why had she made the mistake? Why had she spoken the words? What possessed her? She knew somewhere inside that it had been right, but every millionth of her heart screamed in pain. Why love him now? God hadn't said, "Give up on him and let this go. You won't get another chance." If He had, she hadn't heard Him. She wanted to let it go and move on, forgetting the knife she'd stabbed in his heart, forgetting the arrows she'd put through his dreams. She had to forgive herself. Could she?
       "Cassie?" The words danced like leaves on the wind. Tickled her ears. She knew the voice.
       "...yes?" she choked out.
       "Why are you crying?" Concern etched itself into his voice, like color into a winter landscape. Vivid.
       "I...I don't know," she admitted, mentally scolding herself for letting him see her like this. Like she felt anything.
       Her body trembled like a log cabin; his hands, warm velvet against her rose-blossomed cheeks, brushed away the tears.Why did it have to be him. Anyone else could have brushed the tears away just as efficiently. She wanted him to stay and go in the same moment.
       "Hey," he smiled and laughed, sending wind-chime tunes to the wind. "Stop that. This isn't you."
      If only he knew how painfully right he was. She turned away one last time, leaving him in the space he'd asked for. Praying God would give her the strength to carry on. She knew He would, but she was scared she'd never have the chance to see his face again.
       "Goodbye Logan." Cassie put a lock on her tears and shut herself down.
       "Pfft. Goodbye? Goodnight," he smiled with his voice.
       She said no more. He was gone.
       "Honey, why don't you eat something?" Cassie's mother's cooing voice did nothing.
       "Food just...doesn't appeal to me. Sorry. I'll try at dinner, I promise."
       She tried to eat again at dinner; just as it had been for two weeks, she wasn't hungry. At 8:30 that night, October 4th, Logan called. Cassie's heart skipped ten beats and went into overdrive. She didn't answer. Thirty-five seconds later there was a voicemail on her cell phone. Before she could dial her voicemail, her ten-year-old sister's glass-shattering scream tumbled down the stairs. Her sister virtually never complained, why would she scream?
        "Megs...," Cassie tottered nervously up the stairs. "Are you okay? Where are you?"
        When no response came, Cassie's intial realization was her sister was playing a game. When, after calling Meg four more times, no reply came, Cassie panicked.

Craziness!!!!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:19:59 GMT

This one should keep us all thinking.
This is a true story of something that happened just a few years ago at USC.

There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist.

His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester to prove that God couldn't exist.

His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic.

Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation.

At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, 'If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!'

In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, 'Because anyone who believes in God is a fool'.

If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can't do it.'

And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces.

All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare.

Most of the students thought that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.

Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll.

He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor.

He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought..

Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped.

Finally, the day came! The professor said, 'If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!' The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom.

The professor shouted, 'You FOOL!!!'

If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!'

He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man, and then ran out of the lecture hall.

The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.