Sunday, 16 October 2011
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My Christian Boyfriend Doesn't Believe in Hell
I grew up a Christian. I love God with all my heart and soul. He is my savior. I have a boyfriend I've been dating for a year now, and I greatly love him. When we first got together, he didn't believe in God, but after firing questions back in forth for a day or so, he agreed to start reading the Bible. A while after, he told me he believed in heaven and God. I was so happy. I didn't actually think that he could believe in heaven -- but not hell!
I was beyond shocked and utterly afraid. How can someone believe in heaven but not hell? He says he believes life is hell -- that we've already been punished enough. I want to respond back to him, but I'm at a lost for words. Really, how do I respond to that? Every time I think about responding a immense amount of fog covers my head and makes me dizzy.
My brother pointed out that people don't want to believe there is a bad ending. I'm not sure if that's what my boyfriend is thinking, though. A year ago he got drunk and did some bad things. He robbed a bank with a group of idiotic men. (Well, I guess he was idiotic then, too...) He woke up in the morning and turned himself in. Apparently, a whole family claimed that last night he touched a girl, and that HE was the reason for HER death. I know for a fact that was a complete and utter lie, yet my boyfriend is still so upset that someone could think that of him.
So hence why I guess he wouldn't want to believe there's a bad ending. Anyway, I just want some feedback on this.
How can someone believe in Heaven, but not Hell? He believes that Jesus died on the cross for his sins, nut will he end up going to hell because he doesn't believe in Hell?
Do you know a Christian who doesn't believe in Hell? What is the basis for this belief? How can a loving Christian friend teach Biblical principles of heaven and hell in a loving way?
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- From: SweetLove
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Comments (131)
Welp, Jesus disagrees with your boyfriend. This is a problem!!
I always found it's easier to share what you believe when the topic comes up, and to show God's love to a friend through your love and justice, than it is to convince him of the arguments for [insert proposition].
I wonder how many relationships end because one of the parties believes in hell and the other one doesn't.
"When we first got together, he didn't believe in God, but after firing questions back in forth for a day or so, he agreed to start reading the Bible. A while after, he told me he believed in heaven and God."
I think in that lies your problem. He didn't get saved, but he believes those things are true. As James says, even the demons believe and shudder. Mere agreement to a statement or holding a belief doesn't do anything. There has to be repentance and faith in Christ for the forgiveness of sins for someone to be saved. His assenting to those beliefs are likely tied to his desire to be with you.
I don't think he is saved, though I can't say for certain from a few paragraphs. But, I will say this, if his beliefs don't match what Christians believe then he isn't equally yoked with you. (Assuming that you are saved and do hold to traditional Protestant Christian beliefs, that is.) Paul tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. I think that should end the relationship. I know it isn't easy, but I think it is the correct answer at the moment, at least from the limited amount of information that was given in the post.
That being said, Hell is real, the bible makes it abundantly clear. Few Christians have ever denied it, though sadly a certain well known heretical pastor wrote a book to try to "question" it.
@RoaminCatholic - To be honest, I don't think belief or lack thereof in hell is the biggest issue. The lack of belief in hell comes from either theological liberalism, higher criticism (which is beyond arrogant), or outright unbelief.
I'm Christian and I don't believe in Hell either. Well, I don't believe it is the "fiery pit of doom" that most believe Hell to be. The Hebrew word for Hell is "Sheol," which translates to "grave, pit." The original Biblical belief about Hell is that basically when you die, you just seize to exist and don't receive everlasting life. Or you go to the Kingdom of God, AKA Heaven. It wasn't until Dante's Infernal that people started to believe Hell meant this fiery, torturous place that you will spend an eternity in.
@hapa_homemaking@xanga - Oh really? So all that "wailing and gnashing of teeth" Jesus talked about was just sentiment?
The Bible (and Jesus) talk about both heaven and hell as literal places with physical descriptions. Hell was also described as a "lake of fire, burning with brimstone" way before Dante was ever born (sorry hapa). It is also the destination of the "second" death, which (along with all the other attributes of it) wouldn't make any sense if this life were actually hell (unless you REALLY want to get into deep interpretation, in which case your b/f has to ask himself if his idea of hell stays consistent with all of the other verses that talk about it - chances are that it doesn't).
There are also physical descriptions of dragons and such in the same book that offers most of the physical descriptions of hell, and many people believe those to be metaphorical since it was John's "dream". However, there are ALSO allusions to hell outside of Revelations that still support the idea that hell is a separate place from heaven, which makes John's vision seem a bit more literal.
Regardless of whether he believes in hell or not, I don't think that will affect the state of his soul. If he truly and honestly accepts salvation through Christ, then it won't matter what else he believes. I'm absolutely certain that there are Christians out there who have some bad doctrine (just take any two denominations that completely disagree with each other on some topic - they can't both be right, and it may be that NEITHER of them is right), but I fully expect them to be in heaven because the way to heaven is so basic and simple. Jesus didn't have to explain all the different pieces of doctrine to the thief on the cross, but He said that thief would still get into heaven.
Doctrine is here to help guide us into better lives - not to rule our lives (Jesus said this to the Pharisees). It's definitely not here to be some tool to let humans decide who goes where after they die on this earth - that's not our role.
I applaud your boyfriend for trying to question some of his beliefs. I would encourage you to encourage him further to do this (and for you to do the same). Learning why you believe something is an extremely powerful thing, albeit dangerous for people who are not prepared to be thorough. It's easy to hear different ideas and latch onto them, but if you're not thorough, you could be setting yourself up to believe in something inaccurate.
@NightCometh@xanga - @poosywhistle@xanga - Oy, I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth lol...it would take too long to go into the reasoning behind my belief; there's a lot more to it than what I posted, but it's past midnight and I don't feel like getting into an argument about this, so let's just pretend I didn't say anything.
@hapa_homemaking@xanga - No worries. I can sympathize with not having the time to properly respond, but I'd be honestly interested in hearing your reasoning when you have the time. I'm a curious being. :)
I'm Christian and also kind of agree with your boyfriend's thought that Hell is what we're living in. There really is a lot of suffering that goes on in this world. This would sound a little Buddhist of me to suggest that perhaps Hell is repeating life on Earth as punishment. However, I can see the flaw in that as many people actually enjoy their lives and find daily happiness. I don't know. The thing about Christianity, and religion in general, is that there are so many different interpretations.
@prexus@xanga - There may be many interpretations, but the majority of them don't come from the bible. Theologies that come from the bible vary only a little bit on secondary or tertiary issues.In relation to this topic, there is no doubt that hell is real if one is to honestly read the bible. Jesus refers to it repeatedly as a lake of fire and a place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, and that it lasts forever. He left no doubt that it is real.
This life is full of fallen people in a broken world, and yes it sucks sometimes, but Jesus promised punishment for all sinners who did not have their sin paid for in His blood. If He promised punishment in the life to come, then clearly this life is not the punishment we deserve and that most will get.
As I've heard a few pastors say, for the unbeliever this life is as closet to heaven as they will ever get, for the believer, this life is the closest to hell they will ever be.
@hapa_homemaking@xanga - As others have said, Jesus spoke clearly about hell long before Dante was born. He made it clear that it is a lake of fire that is eternal. If there is no hell, then there is no need for Jesus to die.
First of all - you don't want to share your life with someone who views life as Hell. Seriously, such strong negativity is bound to affect you in your daily life.
Second, I agree strongly with Magister Tom. All the forces of Hell believe in God & Christ yet they do not worship Him. A person has to give their hearts & lives to Christ to be saved in addition to the belief & faith in Christ.
Furthermore, being unequally yolked is especially a problem if you plan to have children. What if He wants you to raise your children to believe that Hell isn't real? This is just one of many issues that will arise being with someone who doesn't share your beliefs.
Not to mention his past would be enough to deter me. It isn't like he made a minor mistake - but robbing a bank...that's serious.
That's strange...Jesus believed in Hell...
I like how the whole argument in the comment section is about heaven vs hell when you are with a
bank robber, pedo.He needs more than Jesus, he needs a chastity belt and therapy for his federal offense, klepto problem.
@apb102088@xanga -When Jesus disagrees with me I tell him to shut the fuck up, swig more bourbon, and tend to my lawn.
Why are you with someone who's committed a felony? I'm pretty sure that's a bigger problem than whether he believes in hell or not.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - *High-5!*
i know it's easier said than done, but you need to end this relationship. dating an unbeliever is not trusting God with your life.If he wants you with someone he will bring that person for you, we are not supposed to be marrying unbelievers, and dating is supposed to be purposeful, the end being marriage. missionary dating is still trying to take the control away from God.it also bothers me that people saying he committed a crime is a bigger problem than whether he believes in heaven or hell, these people are absolutely wrong. the bigger problem is he obviously doesn't believe in Jesus.Jesus talked a LOT about hell, to not believe in hell shows one is not saved.if you don't believe in hell that is the guarantee you are going there. i'll be praying for you, this is a bad situation for a Christian to be in but especially a woman. the man is supposed to be the leader, especially spiritually, and he will lead you in exactly the wrong direction.
and i'm not saying this out of judgement, but because it's just true and i also had to end a relationship, with someone i deeply loved and wanted to marry because i knew it was wrong in God's eyes.but the thing is, is that if you'll trust him with your relationships and put your relationship with Jesus FIRST, he will show you you never needed what you gave up, it was nothing but ashes, and you have something so much better ahead of you. :)The reason some Christians don't believe in hell is ultimately because they trust their own reasoning about what is fair and just over what Jesus and the bible say is fair and just. Some try to twist scripture to accommodate their view, but ultimately it's not a matter of scripture interpretation, it's a matter of what we're uncomfortable.
I highly recommend the book "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan regarding the biblical teachings on hell. It's an easy read, and I think it gets to the heart of the issue.
@hapa_homemaking@xanga - "I'm Christian and I don't believe in Hell
either. Well, I don't believe it is the "fiery pit of doom" that most
believe Hell to be. The Hebrew word for Hell is "Sheol," which
translates to "grave, pit." The original Biblical belief about Hell is
that basically when you die, you just seize to exist and don't receive
everlasting life. Or you go to the Kingdom of God, AKA Heaven. It wasn't
until Dante's Infernal that people started to believe Hell meant this fiery, torturous place that you will spend an eternity in."
Since I assume I'm not going to argue the same things that others were, I hope it's okay if I reply to this.
You're right about the Hebrew word being Sheol which there is no reason to synonymize it with Hell. However, in the Greek there are three different words that are used that generally are translated as "Hell": Tartarus, Hades and Gehenna. Hades is more or less equivalent to Sheol (compare Hades being thrown into the lake of fire in Revelation 20:14). Gehanna (mentioned by Jesus many times in Matthew) was a place outside of Jerusalem which apparently was a dump where a fire was always burning. Tartarus (used only in 2 Peter 2:4) according to Greek mythology was "a deep, gloomy place, a pit, or an abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering that resides beneath the underworld. In the
Gorgias, Plato (c. 400 BC) wrote that souls were judged after death and those who received punishment were sent to Tartarus" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartarus
Now I don't believe all three terms mean the same thing, nor do I think they necessarily imply what Christians typically believe Hell to be. But Gehenna being a place of fire is not a far cry away from that interpretation. Also, the Apocalypse of Peter (as well as that of Paul), a non-canonical book dating to the second century has many descriptions of Hell (not sure what the Greek is in this book) akin to that of Dante''s Inferno, with people being tortured specifically according to the sins they committed. So the notion of Hell was most definitely not created by Dante.
"He believes that Jesus died on the cross for his sins, but will he end up going to hell because he doesn't believe in Hell?"
There are no verses that indicate someone would go to Hell for not believing in Hell. His belief in Jesus is what's important.
I don't believe in hell & I'm a Christian. God is not vindictive, God forgives everyone, a loving forgiving God does not send people to a fiery afterlife. I don't believe in hell because I fear the 'truth' - I don't believe that to be the truth, period. Fear is claiming that there's a hell so you live a certain way & preach to others that if you don't do the same you're going to hell. THAT is fear, folks. Those who believe in hell are living in fear everysingleday. I'm proud to say that I don't.
@UnrevealedTruth_xo@xanga - All throughout the bible, God is vindictive. Are you a Universalist?
@musterion99@xanga - God is not human, correct? Then why would he have a human flaw such as being vindictive? He would not.