chrischoi's Revelife

How the Baby is Like a Video Game

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:05:11 GMT

So she's finally here. I'll keep this brief - but I gotta say, I feel like Audrey is kinda like a video game. First of all, she came in pretty cool packaging (Esther) and once she was out - she was nothing short of amazing.

First of all - the graphics are awesome. 10 fingers, 10 toes - so much detail.

Also, looking at her - I can tell there will be a lot levels. Some harder than others. I don't see many cheat codes available online - so looks like I'll have to play it through.

Although she's very forgiving of my mistakes, the game is interesting in that there's only one life. But there's a ton of power ups.

Still getting a handle on the controls though - I'm going through the tutorial part of the game at the moment, but I'm sure it'll be a fun adventure nevertheless.

Bottomline, best game ever.

Sorry Left4Dead, I think i've moved on. =)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:51:47 GMT

audrey met the world for the first time at 5:11am.

12 hours and counting

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:53:57 GMT

UPDATE: half a day has passed - and my daughter is still chilling inside her mom.

final nuts and bolts are probably being attached - the baby's probably in the QA stages and getting ready to be shipped out.

can't wait to open the packaging and finally play.

this is worse than constantly refreshing UPS tracking after you ordered something from Amazon.

Being Dad

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:20:26 GMT

Esther's gonna give birth any time now - contractions are really kicking in now - but it reminded me of this old post - enjoy (more updates on the baby soon):

i can't wait until i'm a dad. *cue awwws* ok fine, you might be thinking about me as a responsible parent, looking out for my kid, playing with them at the park, etc etc etc ..but no these are hardly the reasons. actually, let's change that - i can't wait until i'm a KOREAN dad. i itch for the day where i am solely responsible for another human being and then screw it up.

growing up there were so many times my korean dad did stuff that i immediately was thinking "i will never do that to my kid!" from sending the kid to bed, not letting them take the car out, etc etc etc...

but then i thought about it some more....i'm pretty sure my dad suffered the same, and then his dad, then his dad, and so on and so on...i mean, why should i stop now? i have to continue the legacy - i have to continue embarassing my kid as much as possible. i mean afterall "it only builds character!" so here are a few things i want to do when i become a korean dad:

1. clothing
i'm gonna make sure when i drop my kid off to school, or wait with him at the bus stop i'm gonna wear a white wife beater, khaki shorts i bought from costco, athletic socks to my knees, and sandals with those weird pebbly spiky soles that hurt your feet. it doesn't even matter if i have to go to work in a suit right after, i'll just keep my hugo boss suit in the back seat of the car...as soon as i send my kid off, i'll change into my nice clothes.

2. pointing
i'm going to make it a point to always point with my middle finger especially when we're in public. "LOOK AT THE SKY" *point up* need to follow the road on a map? no problem, my middle finger will be the guide! dropping my kids off to a party, i'm gonna stick my head out and say "IS THAT THE HOUSE?!!?" and then point right at it, with the great middle. bottomline, it's all about the middle finger.

3. phone calls
if my kids' friends call my house and i happen to pick up the phone, i'm going to talk to them. and here are the questions i plan to ask:

is my son playboy?
my son is pretty gud rooking no?
you want my daughter? she no live here.
do you do drugs?
are you gangster? i hear about your kind in the newspaper.
WHO YOU? WHO YOU? WHAT? WHO YOU?!

and then of course, i will also eavesdrop on every conversation i can. and then chuckle in the background.

4. 'truths'
i'm gonna make up as much stuff as possible just to make my kid do what i want him to do. "if you don't fetch your father water, then demons will come out under your bed and eat you." or "did you know that's not a mirror, that's an actual world. but becareful, cause if your reflection moves out of the way, you disappear" or "here's a box of kleenex, there's a prize at the bottom. but be careful, every kleenex you waste, a kitten dies." and of course there are the classics "if you shake your leg, you'll be poor", "if you whistle at night, snakes will come", and "don't bite your fingernails, or a hand will grow in your stomach."

5. discouragement encouragement
this is classic - but everytime i want to encourage my kid, i will discourage him instead. if he brings home an A on a test, i'll say "Why not A plus?" or "this is only one A, if you get a million A's then maybe you won't grow up to be poor." or "you can only be a doctor or lawyer, or nobody will love you."

6. laughter
but of course i can't always be mean. i have to be able to laugh too...but that's the thing, i'm gonna time it all incorrectly. if he falls and scrapes his knees, comes home crying, messes up....i'm just gonna randomly laugh. extra points if i laugh, and point my finger at him. double points if it's the middle one.

7. love
and finally...i'll of course shower my kids with love. show them that although their dad is weird and strange that inside they knew that i loved them to the fullest and did and always will. also, to make sure that i don't get sent to a retirement home when i'm old and make sure i get to stay at their house to continue my reign of terror.

the end.

ManCOUCH!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:09:50 GMT

remember that really really old post about mancouch?

well my dream has come true - this is a great day for people fighting for mancouches to be in women's department stores everywhere.

I'm proud to announce:

http://www.mancouch.com

I KID YOU NOT.

I'm gonna be contributing a ton of my random musings there - if you got good funny posts, please submit it there!

and of course, to kick it off - my thoughts on why Guys Should Plan ALL Weddings

10 irresponsible reasons for abandoning a dog

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:00:15 GMT

Apparently these are real reasons that people gave when giving up their dog:

The top 10 list of most irresponsible reasons for abandoning a dog:

:: "My dog doesn't match the sofa."

:: "The dog looks evil and has different coloured eyes, just like David Bowie."

:: "My black dog doesn't match new white carpet, can we swap him for a white dog?"

:: "My current dog is too old, can we swap for a puppy or younger model?"

:: "My dog ate the Christmas turkey cooling on the worktop."

:: "My pet guinea pig got worried with a dog in the house."

:: "The dog opened all the presents on Christmas Eve."

:: An owner who accidentally knelt in dog mess while cleaning it up brought the dog in the very next day.

:: A puppy bought as a present for elderly couple with dementia.

:: The negative image of Staffordshire Bull Terriers because of their perceived resemblance to Pit Bull-style dogs.

good thing i don't work at a shelter. I would punch the person in the face if they said any of these to me.

Santa's Gmail

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:51:28 GMT

This was being passed around via email...like lice in preschool.

Parent's Checklist: From the Vault

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:57:28 GMT

a friend of mine was looking for this post - so gonna repost it:

parentchecklist

here's a list of things you need to accomplish to make your asian parent happy.

Get straight A's.....forever
Perfect score on the SATs..in fact, get extra credit on it
Be better than your mom's friend's kids....in everything
Get into an Ivy League school
When you feel like complaining always remember the story of how your parents walked in 10 feet of snow uphill, starving, with their little sister on their back just so that their family can eat a bowl of rice
Every weekend (especially when your friends throw a birthday party that you want to go to), help out at 'the store'. Could be any store...your aunt's store, your parent's store, your dry cleaning store...but it's 'the store' and it MUST involve senseless manual labor
Never shake your leg otherwise it will bring bad luck
Be a doctor, lawyer, or really rich business man
Marry a doctor, lawyer, or really rich business man and they have to look ridiculously good looking like a famous asian actress...irregardless that 90% of them had plastic surgery
Always lock the car door when strange people start approaching
Buy magnetic bracelets as gifts
Eat ginseng and tell them it's delicious and you thank them for such wonderful food
Be in the korean newspaper for something good
Be in the chinese newspaper for something good
Heck be in the mexican newspaper..doesn't matter, just be famous and good. as long as you're better than all your mom's other friend's kids.
Always obey
Never talk back..in fact, never talk. just bow and nod.
Once you graduate from med school, go to med school again
Never watch TV. EVER.
Brainwash yourself thinking that you're only happy if they're happy
Drive a benz or bmw
if you're gifting a purse to your mom, regardless of where you are financially, always make sure the purse says one of these words: Gucci, LV, Prada, Chanel
You're always wrong, they are always right
Take a million APs...if there aren't a million APs, make some
Make sure your significant other is healthy and in good condition. Damage goods should be thrown out. If you're not sure, look up Horse Breeding books, same conditions apply
Be perfect...in everything.
Play a musical instrument and be in competitions...and you're only allowed to be in first place.
Tell everyone you know that your mother's cooking is the best
Fix their computer
Always finish your food
If you said you would do something, always do it. it doesn't matter if they never follow through with their promises, it's ok for them to break them. but you can't. this is fair.
Wear the BYC underwear your mom got you when she took a trip to her motherland and do your best to ignore the defunct english written on it "tomorrow is specialness of togehter"
When your dad wears a wifebeater and khaki shorts feel proud that he's your dad and he has such great style
After you're better than your mom's friends kids, be better than everyone else

Please note: All of the above must be clicked otherwise you're a failure in life and a disappointment to all.

David Archuleta Fans

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:50:59 GMT

do not want:

and i have to do this:

Two Random Thoughts: Pirates and Barack Obama

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:57:51 GMT

I have to write this down in case english scientists need documentation that i'm crazy.

is it me, or does all the recent news about somali pirates taking over ships seem interesting. in fact, it fascinates me. jack sparrow FTW! i imagine people swinging onto the ship, a giant squid somewhere, and swords. i blame disney.
Rearrange our future president's name: Barack - and you get:

you heard it here first.

[edit] turns out, an indian warship sunk a 'mother' pirate ship. there goes the black pearl!!!!