tom's Revelife

The Stupidity of the Intelligent

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:12:57 GMT

I have already said that everything goes wrong without God. This is true even of the good things He's given us, such as our minds. One of the good things I've been given is a stronger than average mind. I don't make the observation to boast; human beings are given diverse gifts to serve Him in diverse ways. The problem is that a strong mind that refuses the call to serve God has its own way of going wrong. When some people flee from God they rob and kill. When others flee from God they do a lot of drugs and have a lot of sex. When I fled from God I didn't do any of those things; my way of fleeing was to get stupid. Though it always comes as a surprise to intellectuals, there are some forms of stupidity that one must be highly intelligent and educated to commit. God keeps them in his arsenal to pull down mulish pride, and I discovered them all. That is how I ended up doing a doctoral dissertation to prove that we make up the difference between good and evil and that we aren't responsible for what we do. I remember now that I even taught these things to students; now that's sin.

It was also agony. You cannot imagine what a person has to do to himself--well, if you are like I was, maybe you can--what a person has to do to himself to go on believing such nonsense. St. Paul said that the knowledge of God's law is "written on our hearts, our consciences also bearing witness." The way natural law thinkers put this is to say that they constitute the deep structure of our minds. That means that so long as we have minds, we can't not know them. Well, I was unusually determined not to know them; therefore I had to destroy my mind. I resisted the temptation to believe in good with as much energy as some saints resist the temptation to neglect good. For instance, I loved my wife and children, but I was determined to regard this love as merely a subjective preference with no real and objective value. Think what this did to my very capacity to love them. After all, love is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person, and how can one's will be committed to the true good of another person if he denies the reality of good, denies the reality of persons, and denies that his commitments are in his control?

Visualize a man opening up the access panels of his mind and pulling out all the components that have God's image stamped on them. The problem is that they all have God's image stamped on them, so the man can never stop. No matter how much he pulls out, there's still more to pull. I was that man. Because I pulled out more and more, there was less and less that I could think about. But because there was less and less that I could think about, I thought I was becoming more and more focussed. Because I believed things that filled me with dread, I thought I was smarter and braver than the people who didn't believe them. I thought I saw an emptiness at the heart of the universe that was hidden from their foolish eyes. Of course I was the fool.

I'm sure you all know I didn't write this. It's from Escape from Nihilism by Dr. J. Budziszewski. I've skimmed a bit of the article and it looks good. I heard the quote yesterday in a podcast from a conference taught by Dr. Don Carson. (very recommended, link is to video stream, audio is also available)

Thoughts, part 2

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:00:39 GMT

This is a follow up to Thoughts, part 1 (shocking, I know)

I let this sit, and I’ve calmed down a bit now so I thought I’d explain a bit. The movie is “Seven Pounds”, an awesome movie, everyone should see it. I went in considering what a pastor said regarding movies and TV. That as Christians we shouldn’t just watch them for entertainment, but, to see how the movie can be used for the cause of Christ. Whether that be leading us to think about Him more, or to consider an aspect of Him, or to be used as something from the culture we can use to teach others about Jesus. Well, the movie starts out kind of weird with a man just doing random acts of kindness for a reason, but, a reason they won’t tell you about. It is also clear that he is seriously struggling with something.

About halfway through the movie the glimpses of his past start to make sense. And what he is doing starts to make a little more sense. Slowly he gives away everything he has, and everything he is to help others. At this point it’s quite obvious how this can be used as the pastor I referred to above talked about. But, that’s when my thoughts really began to wander.

I’ve been reading a book, well two books actually, by Shane Claiborne, and in it he has talked about how Jesus lived and how He has called His people to live. Reading it I disagree with him so much, but, I also know that in many ways he is right and more importantly what he is saying does match what Jesus did in the Bible and how He calls us to live.

As I’ve been thinking through this, and reading the stories and seeing what the implications of all this are it’s began to change me a bit. (As Megan said, I’m getting soft) My strict hardline conservative views are being challenged and by someone who really knows their stuff. And no, that doesn’t mean I’m becoming liberal (sorry Megan!), instead I think I’m becoming a third thing. A new thing.

The more I read the more I begin to seriously question the American dream and what it means to be an American citizen, and sometimes to even question if being an American citizen is something worth considering or being called to. (I’ll leave the individual details out for now, perhaps for later posting) Maybe Jesus isn’t calling me to be the best American I can be (or even the best Christian I should be), but, instead He talked about how His Kingdom is elsewhere. And the Bible talks about how we are citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven and not citizens here so much, that here is a temporary residence while we await the return of our King.

In the stories I see how Shane and the people with him live, the more I read it the more it feels like home. I see how it is so similar to the early church in Acts and a part of me desires it so much. And then there is this other part of me that keeps saying “well, what if?” trying to argue my way out of it.

The conflicts have been slowly playing out since I started reading his books a couple months ago. And today I watched that movie and I saw it lived out. During the movie though, I realized exactly how much this is affecting me. Or at least I got a glimpse of what effect it is all having on me anyway.

(Serious spoiler here, don’t read on if you don’t want to have the movie ruined for you)

At the end of the movie the main character commits suicide that his body might be used to provide different parts of it for people, to save one life and to better the lives of others. When I realized what he was going to do a verse popped into my head. “Greater love has none than this that a man gives up his life for his friends.” The verse is of course about Jesus, but, this man just did the same thing. What if I lived my life like that?

When I got home I went straight to the computer to write that all in my xanga account… but, to my surprise my internet is down (I’m a techie and I see where the problem is, but, it’s the internet providers issue not something locally!). I think the reason for that is that God wants me to focus on Him tonight and not on the internet.

Part of the fear that I wrote about above is going to “The Simple Way” I want to visit it, but, a concern I’ve been arguing with myself over is what happens if I go there and I’m called to live there, or somewhere like it? Am I willing to give up the American dream for that? Am I willing to give it up for Jesus?

Britt told me that I should post something personal, I told her I would, but I had no idea what it would be. I’ve been thinking about that too. It’s strange how all of a sudden something really personal happens the next day. So many ‘coincidences’ or as I think of it, divine providence. God working His will into my life. Glory be to God!

Thoughts, part 1

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 22:30:36 GMT

Part 2 to follow soon (Yes, it is already written)

I wrote this tonight when I got home from lunch and a movie (Seven Pounds) with a friend. These are my raw, unedited (with the exception of a little grammar/spelling), and not prethought, thoughts. The explanation of a lot of what might not make sense comes with part two, please ask questions though as I probably didn't explain everything.)

Lord, I hate what it is you are doing in me. I mean, I love it, but, I hate it. Everything that was me is being destroyed and replaced with something different. It’s better, but, it doesn’t serve me. All that I’ve known is changing, and it’s all changing to what YOU want.

Megan told me that I was getting soft, she noticed it before anyone. I’m reading your word and the experiences of what others who have lived for you have said. And I love it, and it’s everything that I want. But, it’s everything that I hate. What’s going on?

I moved down here and became conservative, because that’s what Christians are. That’s what fits the Bible. And then I find out, that isn’t what you want. I read what Shane writes and it all makes sense, but, it all flies in the face of what I know. But, reading it I know it’s right. And I hate it. But, I love it.

I’ve told you over and over again that I want to serve you, but, I want to do it on my terms, but that’s not good enough for you. You want it on your terms. You want me to give up everything that I am to serve you.

I’m so scared, I don’t know what you are going to have me do next. I want to live for you, and I want to die for you. I want to give up this life to follow you. But, that’s what you really want. You want me broken and given over completely to you. And as much as my mouth says it, and my heart feels it, my flesh is so scared of it. What if you want me to give up something I want to hold on to? Then you call it an idol and say I must give it up.

I watched a movie today that I think you set up just for me. Where a man gives up his very life for those that he loves, but, not only that, he had to give up everything he had before he gave up his life. It’s what you did, and it’s what you want for me. But, it scares me so much.

I know what’s right, and I preach what is right. But, I can’t even do what I preach. I struggle with some of the very same things I preach against. And I hate it. I hate that I can’t serve you fully. I hate that I haven’t given it up as many times as I told you that I would. I hate being a hypocrite. And I know you love me still, but, I know that with my every thought word and deed I live like I hate you. But, I don’t, I love you.

Even as I type this I’m wondering what others might think. What will they say? But, that doesn’t matter, I’m not here to impress them, I’m not here to serve them. I’m here to serve you, and only you. But, I keep getting in the way of it.

Lord, forgive me of my sins, forgive me for when I step in the way of what you want done with this life.

At first I thought you wanted to make me rich, or at least well off. And now I think you might be calling me to give up everything that I own.

So many say they want to know your will for their lives Lord, but, now that it’s becoming more clear to me what it is I don’t hate that I don’t know. I hate that I do know. But, I love it and I hate it.

Romans 7 seemed so academic to me, but, now that I see where I’m in the way I see how much I hate my own actions Lord.

Lord, it is such a hard thing you say, what you call me to is so hard. I can’t do it, but, I have to do it.

Take away any part of me that wants to fight you, take it away. I want to not be a house divided against its self, I want to be fully able and willing to serve you. You showed us how to pray and you said to pray “let your will be done”. But, you know that I can’t say that and mean it, because I know your will isn’t what I want. Even now in this moment of clarity it scares me so bad. How can I surrender myself to you when I know what you want?

Change my heart Lord, make it usable to you. Take away my fears and my doubts Lord that I may know you and that I may serve you. And please, please, don’t let me get in the way of your will.

The irony that you chose Christmas day hasn’t slipped by me. The day that we celebrating you, Immanuel, God with us, coming to this world to live with us, it hasn’t slipped past. You chose this day to really be with me, and I thank you. I love you. But, I’m so scared of you. I’m scared because you want me to give myself away, you want to change everything I know about the world. You want to change everything that I am. In fact, you don’t even want me to be me you want something completely different from what I am. And I’m afraid.

My eyes are out of tears, and my throat is dry. Lord, how can I serve you, how can I live for you?

Isaiah when called stood up and said I will go, he stood up quickly and excitedly ready to serve you. But, I don’t know if I can, I’m not strong enough.

And once Isaiah did you told him that his preaching would be to a people that didn’t care what he had to say, a people that would ignore him, even a people that would taunt and eventually kill him.

I can’t do that Lord, but, I have to. Change me that I might serve you Lord.

I love you.

Merry Christmas (includes a video!)

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 05:55:14 GMT

Same video as last year, yeah, I know. Merry Christmas to one and all. May you remember what the Holiday is about. And may the blessings of the Immanuel, the God with us, be upon you and yours this day.

What holiday traditions do you have or want to start?

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:39:59 GMT

Giving to the poor for Christmas (as opposed to giving to those who already have a lot). Inviting the poor to Thanksgiving also perhaps, instead of giving to those who can return the favor. Maybe also working in a soup kitchen or similar on those two days as well.

But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just." When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, "Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!" But he said to him, "A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant to say to those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, 'I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to examine them. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.' So the servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and said to his servant, 'Go out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.' And the servant said, 'Sir, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.' And the master said to the servant, 'Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you, none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet.'"
(Luke 14:13-24 ESV)

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Should gay marriage be legalized? Why or why not?

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:28:48 GMT

Hmm... how is the Conservative Christian going to answer this question? Any guesses?

I believe the Bible makes it abundantly clear that homosexuality is sin. But, it also makes it even more clear that adultery is sin. Christians throw fits over gay marriage, but many ignore adultery. Many ignore pornography, images forever burnt into the minds of young people who will never be able to forget them.

I think we need to clean our own houses before worrying about our neighbors, or take the plank out of our own eyes, before we try to remove the speck from others.

However, what's wrong with giving them Civil Union status instead? Marriage is a "religious" sacrament between a man and a woman, the Bible is clear on that. So, give the homosexuals a legal status of civil union and marriage isn't violated, and the homosexuals still have their rights.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

So, I wrote this on June 8th and never posted it. I still don't know if I agree with my last paragraph there.

What do you plan to name your firstborn child? Why?

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:19:08 GMT

Not really sure on this one. But, I think I'd name him, or her, after one of the heroes, theologians, or writers, of the Christian faith.

Calvin, Luther, Paul, William (Wilberforce) (also my dad's middle name), John (the Baptizer/Witness, or the Evangelist, Newton, Wesley) Dietrich (Bonhoeffer, perhaps Dietrich as a middle name...), Clive (C.S. Lewis, I don't like the name though...), Knox (John Knox)

For a girl, Sarai (although I don't know the meaning nor do I know for certain how it's pronounced, but, I like the name anyway), Theresa (Mother Theresa), Naomi (I had this one in mind years ago, then a friend stole it!), Ruth, Esther, Hadessa, Phoebe, Abigail, Mary, Dorcas, or Gomer (okay, probably not those last two!)

If I had a red-haired step child I'd call him Arminius. :) (I seriously doubt anyone got that... if you did keep in mind that it's a joke, kthx!)

Also, what's with people having two middle names now-a-days?

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Clarification regarding previous post

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:45:07 GMT

So, I caught a bit of flack over the previous post. I thought I'd take the time to clarify my views on the subject.

"I love family, therefore I hate divorce, adultery (Jesus' definition of adultery, meaning any pre/extra-marital sex/lust), and homosexuality."

I want to specifically focus on the homosexuality issue, as I think I addressed the other parts in the comments.

I don't hate or condemn those who struggle with homosexuality. And I don't think that that one sin is any worse than any of the others quoted above. All listed, with the exception of divorce, are sexual sins and all are classified as sexual immorality. (Divorce itself is a sin too of course.) I don't think homosexual sex is any worse than other pre/extra-marital sex. And just like I wouldn't condemn someone who got a divorce, I wouldn't condemn someone who struggles with homosexuality.

What I will say on the matter is that the person struggling with any of the above needs help. Everything listed there has traumatic effect on a person. Some are more apparent and obvious than others, but, they all have huge effect. They all ruin families, damage relationships, and hurt everyone involved. I couldn't imagine the pain of going through any of them, especially alone.

Just like the woman caught in adultery and presented before Jesus, (John 7:53-8:11) we have all sinned (Romans 3:23) and are desperately in need of God's grace.

To all those who struggle with homosexuality know that I love you and would never condemn you. Just as Jesus loved me, and died for me, even while I was yet a sinner. So to did He die for the sins of the homosexual, He loves you and wants you to come and experience His grace and love.

I'm not associated with this ministry, but, I've heard their President Emeretus, John Smid, (and former client) speak and lead discussion on the topic of male homosexuality. From what he said, and his personal testimony he gave, it leads me to believe that this ministry is worthwhile. http://www.loveinaction.org/

What are some controversial views you hold?

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 00:24:28 GMT

Wow, that's a tough question. Not tough to think of what views I hold that are controversial, but, instead to list them all.

I remember hearing, or reading, somewhere that we as Christians we should be known for what we support much more so than for what we oppose. My views themselves are somewhat controversial, and I even wonder if I did list what I support and what I opposed how many contradictions we would have.

I love babies and children, therefore I abhor abortion.
I love life, therefore I hate death. However, I don't necessarily oppose war, nor do I support taking away guns from law abiding citizens.
I love family, therefore I hate divorce, adultery (Jesus' definition of adultery, meaning any pre/extra-marital sex/lust), and homosexuality.
I love sobriety, therefore I hate drugs.
I love purity, therefore I hate pornography.
I love Jesus, therefore I hate what Christmas has become.
I love my country, therefore I hate the Democrat party.
Seriously though, I love my country, but, I question it's direction and motivations.
I love the State of Illinois, therefore I think we should split it in half and let Chicago fall into Lake Michigan.

I hate American Christmas consumerism, and I loathe [insert extremely large retail/grocery chain here], but yet I just got home from shopping.
I hate mammon, but, yet work to make more money. (I'm also considering joining a Christian commune...)
I hate hypocritical Christians who think they are "holier than thou", yet I hold most of the same views with them.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

The Key to the Master's Orders

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:07:34 GMT

"Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that He will send forth labourers into His harvest." Matthew 9:38

The key to the missionary problem is in the hand of God, and that key is prayer not work, that is, not work as the word is popularly understood to-day because that may mean the evasion of concentration on God. The key to the missionary problem is not the key of common sense, nor the medical key, nor the key of civilization or education or even evangelization. The key is prayer. "Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest." Naturally, prayer is not practical, it is absurd; we have to realize that prayer is stupid from the ordinary common-sense point of view.

There are no nations in Jesus Christ's outlook, but the world. How many of us pray with out respect of persons, and with respect to only one Person, Jesus Christ? He owns the harvest that is produced by distress and conviction of sin, and this is the harvest we have to pray that labourers may be thrust out to reap. We are taken up with active work while people all round are ripe to harvest, and we do not reap one of them, but waste our Lord's time in over-energized activities. Suppose the crisis comes in your father's life, in your brother's life, are you there as a labourer to reap the harvest for Jesus Christ? "Oh, but I have a special work to do!" No Christian has a special work to do. A Christian is called to be Jesus Christ's own, one who is not above his Master, one who does not dictate to Jesus Christ what he intends to do. Our Lord calls to no special work: He calls to Himself. "Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest," and He will engineer circumstances and thrust you out.

From "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers