Monday, 21 January 2013
I knew I would have to write about this sooner or later because it’s an issue that I’ve not only struggled with personally but I know millions of other guys do as well, whether they admit it or not. It took all of God’s strength to write about it today, but I wanted to share my experience with porn.
Before I was a Christian, I thought to myself porn is perfectly normal and natural. I mean, we’re guys, right? We have needs, right? I was exposed to porn at a very early age -- when I was only 12 years old. My step-dad hid Playboys under the sink and bed and I would go in there and look at them. When I first saw them I thought to myself, holy moly this is different!
As years passed, I would delve in and out of porn, and in high school my friends would even come over and we’d watch porn together. It was practically a porn party! Well, I eventually became a Christian and all of a sudden I became hugely convicted when I watched porn. What was once so innocent now felt like I was guilty almost to point of committing a serious crime, and I was, in God’s eyes.
Many of you are wondering why I think porn is bad. I’ll first attack it from a non-Christian viewpoint. When a guy watches porn, he is basically imagining that he is sleeping with another woman. It’s a ridiculous fantasy played out in the privacy of a person’s home and this problem isn’t isolated to males either, statistics prove that more and more women are watching porn as well.
Now, if you're in a relationship, would you want your boyfriend or girlfriend watching another man or woman have sex while they play out this ‘fantasy’ in their head? Of course not! This might not seem to bother the other person in the relationship, but it’s a seed of destruction that will grow more and more. From that seed can come several things -- lack of trust, feeling unloved -- the most prevalent and often final conclusion being that he or she cheats on you. Another point to consider is that most males will never admit they have porn. Porn is always done secretly.
From a Christian standpoint, God calls Christians to fix our thoughts on things that embody him. Jesus said, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
God also calls us not to lust. When guys watch porn they are practicing to lust after women. It’s a fact I know all too well and eventually it spills out and affects the people you love most. I’m still learning to fill myself with God and to avoid porn at all costs.
I put up Norton software that blocks all porn and sexual material, and I also have it on my phone. Some people might think I’m crazy but I take it seriously because I’m not only accountable to God for my actions but I also have a person I love with all my heart who deserves eyes only for her.
Porn is an issue that many people don’t like to talk about and often ignore. It’s a huge problem in today’s society that we must address now before it’s too late. With divorce so prevalent, I have no doubt that pornography plays an important role in this.
Men need to step up and be the father, friend, husband, and Christian leader that God desires of each of us. On a side note, if it wasn’t for my girlfriend’s grace, love, and patience, I would be single today. She is an amazing woman who has a heart for God and makes me a better person because of it. Thanks sweety!
What other problems does pornography cause in the mind and heart? For those who struggle with pornography, what are some action steps they can take to begin to free themselves from this addiction?