My boyfriend and I just broke up. We are both Christians, but we both have really bad pasts. I have eating disorder issues as well as month-long bouts of severe depression (they come and go and tend to come on fast) and abandonment issues; so I have a lot of baggage I know I need to work on. And he used to have an alcohol/partying problem and would basically just use people. Before we started dating we were both managing really well, and trusting God to take care of everything, but somewhere along the line things went bad.
I think what happened is I got stressed. Really badly stressed and in a moment I tried to "be strong" and take care of things myself. This triggered a relapse into my bulimic behavior which brought about everything else. I was raised in a home where self-destruction is the normal way to cope with negativity, so I quickly relapsed and have been quite sad and angry and lonely-feeling lately.
My boyfriend understandably noticed what I was doing and for a little while tried to encourage me to stop and rely on God. I tried but I felt God was so distant and wasn't listening. He (boyfriend) then suggested I go to therapy. I've gone for two sessions so far. I hate it but he wanted me to try so I am. And then he said I was too stressful; he has his own issues to handle. I trigger bad memories in him and I've changed from the person I was when we were first dating. And he broke up with me.
Now I feel more alone, not only because he left me but also because that is exactly what my ex before him said when he left. And now I feel even more guilty and depressed because now he has to deal with all of the things he was handling so well before I came along.
I don't know what to do; I'm trying to rely on God still but it's taking a lot of effort. I still feel incredibly lonely and distant from people and God -- although oddly a little less so since the breakup, I guess because my Bible study group finally opened their eyes to me looking kind of zombie-ish and talk to me now.
How do I cope with this? And is there any scripture you suggest I read?
How do you respond? What scripture has helped you move on after a break up? What are some other resources that might help someone get through a break up?