Monday, 19 November 2012
I find that since becoming a Christian 24 years ago, for reasons even I don't understand, people offer unconditional love and support to me. And it has nothing to do with whether I'm "one of them" politically, or whether I attend their church. It has to do with being Christ-centered, something I'm always in need of being aware of.
When my pastor wrote a blog and delivered part of a sermon than included the fact that she had given birth to a child in college and placed him for adoption, I was overwhelmed with emotion -- overwhelmed because she really put herself out there. She spoke of the "open adoption", and seeing him over the years, and being at his high school and college graduation. She spoke of the pain involved, and of knowing the minute his adoptive mother came into the hospital room that she was to be his mother.
And I think of the things I've done in my life, that my Savior has understood and wrapped his arms around me because I was in pain. I remember being diagnosed bipolar and -- not making excuses here -- how hard it hit me that I'd been having an illicit affair for two years, and not been mother of the year.
When the guilt of my actions actually hit, I could barely breathe, yet to this day, my children forgive me. And I've actually felt God's love and forgiveness.
So if there's something in the back of your brain that keeps you from letting go, from moving on, from allowing God's goodness to be a part of your life, give it to God. Talk to a pastor, a therapist, a friend. Ask for a prayer group at church to pray over you. During this season of preparing for Christmas, wouldn't it be magnificent to just let go of anything that's holding you back?
Why do we hold on to our inner-most secrets? What are we afraid of? When have you confessed something, and how did the reaction of your friends, family and of God change your life? When have you been forgiven for something you didn't want to seek forgiveness for?