Wednesday, 22 August 2012
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Words Like a Speeding Bullet
By VeraLet no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29A lot of unwholesome words have come out of my mouth over the years, mostly spoken out of anger or frustration. This bad habit has been greatly tempered by the Lord over the past few years, but once in a while, the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head out of the abyss.
I recently made the sad and bitter discovery that unwholesome words could come out from the tips of my fingers just as fast and easily as saying them. In anger and frustration, I pounded on the computer keys and sent an email. To my shame, this has resulted in hurt feelings and a broken friendship. Just as you feel so helpless in not being able to swallow back those uttered words, I felt so helpless in not being able to pull back and delete the sent mail.
We are in an age where conversations between people from opposite sides of the world is possible and could be done in real-time. With just a few clicks of the finger, you could converse face-to-face with anyone in the world (or even in space, for that matter). With a few clicks of the finger, we could send a message to thousands of people across the globe, just as easily as sending it to just one person. With just a few clicks, we could send painful, stabbing and debilitating words to people, just as easily as sending a birthday greeting.
With all the available social media within our reach, it is wise to heed the second part of Ephesians 4:29 “... but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear”. We always find a lot to say about a lot of things and revel when we are heard and listened to. This is particularly true when we feel slighted or feel that we need to correct something or someone. We may make sense and correction may be needed, but not all words are edifying or helpful; most likely than not, words spoken (or in my case, written) in the heat of the moment are words that tear down. Most likely too, words uttered (or again, written) in passion, are not needed for that particular moment.
Biting words or being 'brutally frank' does more damage than good. When was the last time you thanked someone for condemning or hurting you? But more memorable and perhaps more meaningful and kept in the heart would be those words spoken in love, soft words that encouraged, inspired change because our flaws and mistakes were seen as fleeting mistakes and not for who we are.
So next time you or I take offense for whatever reason, rather than letting our fingers pound those keys or blasting off vocal bullets, let's take several hours to cool down and think over the words that our Lord would want us to say --- or write.
When was the last time you tried to run after your words? What happens when you say or write something you wish you could take back? What can we do to remind ourselves to cool off instead of responding without restraint?
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Comments (2)
I've dished out more than one apology for shooting off at the mouth or through my fingers. Although I can remember one instance when a coworker and I got into a rather heated debate. I saw him the next day and he asked me if I still stood by what I had said (I had told him he was flat out wrong and that it would do him well to shut up before he made himself look anymore ridiculous...with a few choice words added for flavor). I told him, "every word." It was not one of my finer moments, but at the same time, everyone that heard our argument and how it ended told me that they were glad that I had stood up to him. Could I have used more selective language? Yes. In hindsight, I probably should have, but then again there are those rare occasions when the dramtic is necessary, and it can be done without being overly personal or totally denegrating.
In light of the bitter political discourse we have presented to us day after day--ah, election years, don't you just love 'em?--we need to be really careful about how we choose to respond to others. I recently got a pretty mean email from a relative whom I love dearly. On facebook, I hit the "like" button on a person whose views he detests. In the course of his email, he inadvertently took a swipe at the candidate we are both supporting. Then, he threw my religious denomination into the mix. He does not agree at all with what my church teaches. When I replied, I explained that it is important to listen to all points of view so that we can better reply to another's questions. I also reminded him that he rejects what my church teaches, and I didn't need a lecture from him on how to be a good member of my particular church. I wonder now if that was too strong. I took it personally when he attacked me on my religious beliefs, which is crazy because we both follow Jesus. Oh yea, there are times when it's hard to know how to frame one's responses to barbs being flung your way.