Saturday, 18 August 2012

• Rage: Our Inner Hell

  How strong anger is.  How deep its roots in the soul.  Within my own heart I often feel its irrational desire to strike out at.  It is not always directed at anyone, no, it just is, like an inner cauldron of dark red energy.  Yet all my life I have been able to contain it.  Better at it sometimes than others, but it is not overwhelming, though at times painful. 
  
  I call it anger, but in reality it is rage, something deeper than anger and beyond reason.  Anger is good; it can lead to constructive action, giving courage and energy for some wrong to be made right, or for someone needing help and protection.  Rage is mindless, like a hungry dragon spewing fire and destruction, wanting only revenge and annihilation for those perceived as an enemy.  It can be insatiable, always empty, starving and seeking to fill an ever expanding inner hunger.  It is its own hell. 
  
  Perhaps it is this constant rage that demons feed off of and feel, always seeking release, always hungry, yet never achieving release from the all consuming rage and hatred of God and man. 
  

  As a species I believe that this rage lurks in all hearts, the only release (a boon denied demons because they do not want it), is to seek healing and forgiveness, not only for ourselves but for all those we have inner rage towards.  Be it a person, race, religion, or group and finally in the end, God. 
  
  Christ bore our collective suffering and rage, allowing himself to be tortured and killed.  Yet he forgave, in him is the healing love of God the Father.
  
  We need not be afraid of what we see within, because it is all seen anyway.  No, not to fear, but to open up ever further into the Father’s light and love -- for we are all seen, there is nothing to fear, all we need do is to surrender to that which can save us from our own inner hells.  To desire healing is to in time receive it.  To seek release from the chains of inner torment and imprisonment is to find. 
  
  For God is closer to us than our spit, or guts, our bones and morrow, we exist in God; we live and move and have our being in God.  The more we see our need, the more blessed we are, so courage, if Christ is for us, who can be against us. 

  Our souls are flame,
  burning blue so much it’s heat,
  seeking the cooling fires of God’s love,
  wherein the raging inner sea of tumultuous fire,
  becomes a healing balm for all

  Have you ever felt a deep inner anger?  What gives you rage?  What can we do to let go of the anger we hold inside?

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