Monday, 13 August 2012
-
Surviving the Suffering: Why Me?
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.I haven't been on here in a couple of days because I've been in the hospital, and their wireless has Xanga blocked, so my iPhone was my only way of getting on here. Not so fun if you're trying to write a post.
Anyway, I got home last night at about 1am after a really horrendous discharge ordeal. The hospital changed its entire computer system this week, and no one seems to know how to use it. Because of a series of people and technical issues, it was nearly five hours from when the doctor told me I could go home to when I actually got to leave. Not the most delightful day.
I went into the ER on Tuesday morning with intense abdominal pain and fever. I have a lot of pain on a regular basis because of Crohn's Disease, but this was a lot more intense than usual. Turns out I have a serious infection I've had twice before, but the great news is that I can take antibiotics at home and (with God's help and grace) get better quickly.
Here's what this post is really about. When the GI (digestive) doctor came to see me, it wasn't my normal doctor because he wasn't on call. The one who did come is one I haven't seen in several years, so he was asking about the history of my disease. I explained that I haven't been in remission for seven years and that I'm allergic or unresponsive to almost every viable treatment. (The disease is usually treatable, though incurable.)
After this story, the doctor came close to my hospital bed to check my physical symptoms, and he leaned over to my face and whispered, "Why you?"
What an interesting question. A question with so many implications. It was a compliment, I guess, a statement of the fact that he thinks I'm too nice a person to be in this situation.
But am I? Like everyone else on earth, I sin, I have negative thoughts, I have (many) selfish moments. I don't deserve a perfect life. But that's not the point I want to make.
Last night wasn't the time for me to tell the doctor, who (I am fairly sure) is not a believer, my real story. I couldn't, in that moment, explain to him that I wouldn't trade my physical suffering for anything in the entire world. Absolutely, I desire healing and wholeness, but I want to be like Jesus far more than I want to be well.
I've blogged about different phases of my journey, but at this point, I can look back and see God's blessing through every step of my sickness. He has held my hand through unspeakable pain. He has given me the time to know Him in ways I never would have discovered if I'd been well enough to fill my life with the busyness I thought I needed. He's shown me the unimportance of outward things I used to think meant the world. He's given me a desire to experience Him more than anything else, and I long to share that with others, but not in the ambitious, acclaim-seeking way I used to. I'm content to be quiet, to be used by Him whenever He needs me. Perhaps more than anything, He's taught me to trust Him without any reservations.
The question is definitely, "Why me?"
Why did God choose me to receive the gift of suffering? Why did He ever love me enough to allow me to know Him in such an intimate way through my illness? Who was I to ever deserve to know what it's like to be wrapped in His arms and carried to peace when I am at the literal end of what I can bear? Who am I to know so much of His sufficiency? Not in a million years could I ever deserve the beautiful gift that my suffering has been.
I don't wish for you to be sick. I'm not going to start praying that everyone I care about contracts an incurable illness. What I do pray is that some day, you have a chance to know what it's like when suffering is no longer your enemy and instead becomes the most beautiful gift you've ever received.
When have you experienced suffering? Why did you suffer? Why do people suffer? What did you learn from suffering?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Pickwick12@xanga
- Name: Amy
- Location: Fort Myers, Florida, United States
- About Me: I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. -Dorothy Parker
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 42 Views: 0 34204 Comments: 0 815 View all posts by Pickwick12@xanga
Comments (8)
The whole world is full to the brim with pain and suffering, so the answer is why not you?
WHAT IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET? DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR HEALTH IS ONE OF THE GREATEST PREDICTORS OF YOUR FUTURE SUCCESS? DID YOU THAT YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE KIND OF HEALTH YOU HAVE? DID YOU KNOW THAT THE STRESS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS WORKING UNDER HAS SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASED DURING THE LAST CENTURY? DID YOU KNOW THIS HAS INCREASED HEART-ATTACKS, STROKES,DIABETES,CANCER,AND OTHER ILLNESSES? THE EVER DECAYING CONDITION YOU LIVE IN IS CONSTANTLY LOWERING YOUR IMMUNE RESPONSES, DECREASING YOUR BODY'S ABILITY TO SURVIVE CONSTANT ATTACKS (Verticka,2011). WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN LEARNING ABOUT THE #1 PRODUCT IN THE WORLD(based on third party scientific studies) TO HELP YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM BE ABSOLUTE BEST IT CAN BE? THIS AMAZING PATENT-PROTECTED PRODUCT IS CALLED RVB300 AND IS EXCLUSIVELY MARKETED BY "RESTART YOUR LIFE". SINCE THE SHORT TIME RVB300 HAS BEEN AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC, WE HAVE BEEN FLOODED WITH CUSTOMER TESTIMONIALS. MANY PEOPLE STAY THIS PRODUCT HAS CHANGED THEIR LIVES TREMENDOUSLY. WHEN YOU HAVE AN OPTIMAL, FULLY FUNCTIONING IMMUNE SYSTEM, MANY POSITIVE THINGS HAPPEN IN YOUR BODY TO IMPROVE AND MAINTAIN GREAT HEALTH. WHETHER YOU ARE INTERESTED IN OPTIMIZING YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH RVB300 OR PARTICIPATING IN OUR AWESOME, GROUND-FLOOR FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITY, RESTART YOUR LIFE CAN HELP YOU CHANGE YOUR REALITY, BOTH WITH YOUR "HEALTH and WEALTH"
SEE TESTIMONIAL Video click here to watch video SEE WHAT NBC NEWS REPORT http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150812897611307 CHECK OUT MY SITE: www.RestartYL.com/maryg I AM BELIEVING GOD TO BE AN ANSWER TO 50 PEOPLE PRAYERS. HAVE YOU BEEN PRAYING FOR AN ANSWER? EMAIL ME @3john2healthy@gmail.com
The mercy of God is no clearer than when your life is in His hands; "To live is Christ, to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).
I love this post and sent a message about it. It popped up in my email box again this morning, which is where I keep track of my old Revelife subscriptions. I was afraid I had lost it and would not be able to look at it again as a reminder of God's grace to us who have known suffering, especially when I need encouragement. My suffering doesn't compare to yours; but I do understand the blessing it is, although to a lesser degree. And, as I wrote you in my message Amy, since I began to know you you are always in my prayers. I feel privileged to know you, to care for you and to pray for you. Hugs and God's continuing blessings, Dear One.
Jerry
Wow. I am speechless at this beautiful post. I admire your Christ Like attitude. Yes to die is certainly gain and power is certainly made perfect in weakness! God made it happen to YOU specifically, not only so " you be given the chance to know what it's like when suffering is no longer your enemy and instead becomes the most beautiful gift God wanted you to receive" But also because God knew he could use you in the lives of others to encourage them with your testimony!! he knew you could handle it and for his Glory. He's loves of you! Share you testimony because that is how we overcome. I don't think I could compare my suffering to that of you or even Christ...but I do suffer with selfish ambitions but I always am reminded by my DESPERATE need for Christ when I am suffering, therefore I am glad for it.
I would love to write a LONG comment to this post. So much to say!! I agree with you. Honestly, I struggle with my depression as long as I can remember and days like this is hard to face. Last night my boyfriend asked me what do I want to see happening in 10 years; it just occur to me I barely even think of the next day let alone 10 years!!
Point being, days I dread getting out of bed. But I am blessed. I have three beautiful children and a full life to experience. Yet, I feel horrible. I struggle to be grateful for having another day. See, I am not complaining that I don't have what I want. I am not complaining I don't have what I need. I have all that I should and more! I am not struggling with finical. I am not struggling with temptation of having more, bigger and better. We have two cars we need for each of ourselves. We have enough money to get by, enough food to survive. Our health is considerably okay, except for the physical pain we get time to time [ sore back from working, I am suffering sprain wrist and knee from being overweigh ] So, why are there days I am struggling? MY biggest struggle is feeling close with God. I think I am trying too hard to welcome Him in my life. All I will say is; God is AMAZING. It is hard not to miss that! You've been blessed. Anybody that have a relationship with God is blessed. And that is the biggest success anybody could have.