Monday, 13 August 2012
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Forgiveness: Do It For Yourself
I'm not thrilled at some things I see going on in the lives of those whom I deeply care for. Sometimes the decisions of these folks impact the lives of many other people and can cause hurt, pain, and distrust. It's at those times when forgiveness needs to be exercised. Forgiveness, like Love, is a decision. We must choose to forgive -- like we choose to love. It's also a verb, it takes a conscious decision to forgive someone else for their actions.
But, we must not forgive because someone was forced to apologize. We must forgive in spite of their actions. It's also not an action that is for the other person as well. It's an action for yourself.
I choose to forgive because it benefits me. It has nothing really to do with the person who hurt me. It's my spiritual and emotional journey. Forgiveness allows me to push forward in my journey by allowing me not to dwell and the actions of others and how they hurt me. Therefore, my lack to forgive others only hinders my own journey.
There have been a lot of situations this past year involving close loved ones in my life that have significantly hurt me. But I have chosen to forgive those people who have hurt me. Making that decision regularly has proven to provide peace in my life.
Forgive one another, and love one another. Encourage each other.
Don't do it because I asked you to, but consider the alternatives and test out this theory. A burden can be lifted, peace brought forth.
Not for others on this issue, but for yourself.
Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? Why is it sometimes so difficult to forgive? Does looking at forgiveness out of the perspective that it benefits you, not them, help you get closer to a point where you can forgive?
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Comments (3)
I love this post because I can relate. I've been thinking about my situation for a while, I'll share briefly with you so I can get some opinions.
5 years ago, I had my son. My son's father's brother's girlfriend (phew) or my son's uncle's girlfriend & my son's aunt gave me a hard time. There was some kind of misunderstanding apparently & I had no clue what was going on. I didn't know until someone asked me if I had any issues with the family.They both online bullied me, called me degrading names, humilatied, & harassed me Even my son's aunt started to talk crap about my son...he was only a few months old back then but who does that, talking crap about an innocent child who is your nephew? Its one thing to talk about me, its a whole other story when an innocent child gets invovled.
Anyway we haven't talked since, they've called me a couple times to make things right but I never recieved an actual apology. Rumor has it they told everyone after they tried to contact me & I was being a big baby for not accepting their "apology"
In my opinion, I do not need people who assume & start a fuss over a misunderstanding. Therefore, I just ignore them. I forgive them, but I'm not stupid enough to trust or have them in my life. I don't need them in my life. I'm not angry or anything, it just seems after that they are trouble. I'm just staying away from it. My question is...is that actually forgiving?
I can relate to the previous post about someone saying disparaging things about her child. Those are the situations hardest to deal with. When someone hurts our child, it's worse than if they'd just come out and slammed us. I can take that, but trashing my kids is another matter, and my father just loves to trash my 34 year old son. It usually starts like this: "Your idiot son," It's your fault he has trouble finding work because you were too permissive," "If you'd raised him right he wouldn't have picked the girl he picked," blah blah blah. And I've yet to meet a perfect parent. He was horrible to my brother. Just horrible. Doesn't like boy children, and now, my year old grandson has, according to him, feet that are too big, so something must be wrong, even though the lil guy is running all over the house and forming words. My husband told me he's calling my dad today to tell him to knock it off. I don't want to be around for that one. Forgiveness needs to be in play today.