Saturday, 28 July 2012

• Running Back Home Again: Internal Conflict

  Running through this world, jungles and mountains, trenches lining the dark forest' of this hell; running through the safaris of life dodging predators from every side, at times looking death in the face. Climbing hills and feeling the torment of the blazing heat of the sun, natural elements prove to be the tornadoes and volcanoes that at times barely exited. Arguing, crying, screaming, despair, defeat, death, pain, short lived joy, proximity of this world: My mind. It seems as if every time we achieve a greater level of success of intimacy with Christ, we find a way to unravel it and in doing so almost go the opposite direction with the same fever, zeal, with the same velocity. I believe that sin probes around in our lives and takes opportunity at our weakest moment even when our weakest moment doesn't seem weak at all. We find ourselves constantly running back to Psalms 51 to the point where we can probably quote it by heart.

  However, I believe there indeed has to be a way in fixing these physical/spiritual lifestyle temper tantrums. There has to be a way we can lock into Christ and never let Him go completely. There has to be a way to produce in ourselves such a love for Christ that even when the thought of our lives spinning and spiraling out of control back into sin that it would be repulsive and emotionally painful to us. A place there must be, where we cast all of our cares upon Him, and NEVER pick them back up. There has to be a way of obtaining a mindset that is inclined to race to the throne of Christ with our pain and earthly stress; not to sex, not to drugs, not to porn, not to another person, not to alcohol and not to preachers and clergy.

  Unfortunately, the answer to this problem I'm still yet ignorant of, and inevitably I arrive at the same conclusion of blind faith that drew me to His side initially, and that is simply that Jesus is my shepherd, He is no matter what happens is a rock even though falling of that rock seems my talent, an inclination that I'm naturally gifted at. He has promised to never leave me, and in psalms through His servant David, has assured all of us that IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE WE MAKE OUR BED, it doesn't matter where we roam, or what kind of trouble we get ourselves in, he IS there. He is there before we even arrive there (Psalms 139:7-10)

  We are not holding on to Him, He is holding on to us. We are not leading Him into righteousness, but He is leading us into it for His name sake (Psalms 23). We had no power to call our dead and evil souls back from spiritual death (Ephesians 2), and we have no power to lead our glorified souls into eternal Holiness. I'm not trying to issue a license to sin, for how can we who have died to sin continue to walk in it (Romans 6:1)? I'm simply calling for public awareness to those struggling to simply come back home, and when you wonder away to remember that Christ is not like man, He wants you back and He will never leave you.

  "T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear, And Grace, my fears relieved. How precious did that Grace appear the hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils and snares... we have already come. T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far... and Grace will lead us home." --John Newton

  Have you ever felt like you run away from God a lot? Have you ever felt as if you had ran to far from Christ and couldn't come back?

  • 2:35 PM
  • 1169 Views
  • 8 eProps
  • 5 Comments