I go through times of inner shattering, when everything seems to go in too many directions at once.
I feel tired, angry and have trouble praying or focusing on scripture.
I know much of it because of my sleep cycle.
I have always been a light sleeper and even as a young child and teenager, could never sleep in on weekends.
So I know that exhaustion is what causes a great deal of this.
It is how I tend to handle it that makes it worse.
I try to escape the inner turmoil by seeking something other than waiting on the Lord to deal with it.
I know from experience that when I wait on the Lord, just set, look at a scripture verse, or perhaps a an Icon I have in my room, brings the inner shattering and turmoil to rest, or to a point where it is no longer a temptation I feel a compulsion to get away from.
Yet I still persist in not sitting before the Lord at times.
I am a mystery to myself, but the Lord always wins out, the light returns and once again things settle.
I could spare myself a lot of inner pain and anxiety by simply doing what I know the Lord is calling me to practice. I believe I am my own worst enemy.
In what ways are you your own worst enemy? How do you get in the way of what God is doing in your life? How could we trust God more with our lives and get out of the way?
Recommend
Comments (2)
Methinks you are being way too harsh on yourself. We don't have clear pictures of God's plan for us. Sometimes things work out the way we think they should, and sometimes they don't, but either way, we plod on, looking for correct solutions. Your comments about your sleep schedule cause me, with a 23 year nursing career behind me, to tell you that you should see a doctor. Your brain is screaming out to you that something could help you, that just because you've functioned like this all your life it's a normal pattern, not sleeping properly. I'm no doc, so I couldn't say if you have periodic depression, ADD, or other reasons for what you've just described in your post. But as a mother person, I'm telling you to see a doctor or a nurse practitioner.
@Pollypinks@xanga - @Pollypinks@xanga -
I will take what you have said to heart. We do get used to a certain way of being, and as I get older I think I am both getting happier and at the same time more aware of other things within. Thank you for your time my friend.
peace
mark