By Darian
Kissing is something that couples have struggled with a great number of times. Maybe two young people would do it and then feel it's wrong, but have it be too late to change it. Or maybe the woman in the relationship sort of expected it -- she was tired of waiting around for the man to make the move, so she broke it off altogether.
Kissing prematurely is wrong to some, but very "healthy" to others. Kissing, from what I've understood based on my own personal encounters with people, is views as something as "innocent" as holding hands or hugging. I've talked before about how physical attachments of any kind aren't pleasing to God (1 Corinthians 7:1-2). But, that might not be enough for some.
Perhaps you're able to kiss and hug and still remain sure of your purity. But thinking that you're remaining pure isn't the same as really remaining pure. Even if you really, really enjoy kissing and holding your courtship partner's hand, it's really important to understand that physical ties and physical contact altogether (1 Corinthians 7:1) isn't permitted outside the marriage commitment.
Kissing is a seal of marriage. Two people kiss on their wedding day to symbolize the bond of marriage. Do you really want to give up that seal at the front door?
Kissing also requires commitment, real commitment. As does any form of touching in a romantic relationship. You can't just give it away because you think the young man you're with expects it of you. You can't give it away because you're 99.9% sure that you'll marry him one day. You're supposed to save that for marriage specifically, not the few months before your wedding day.
Emotional attachment is one thing, but physical attachment is easier to fall into. The fantasy of it can distract you from the reality that God wants you to have boundaries. Never forget, the more you save for marriage, the more special things you'll have to share with your spouse.
How important do you think kissing is in a relationship? Do you think it's something that is supposed to be saved for marriage?
Recommend
Comments (99)
Kissing before marriage is not wrong. That ends my argument.
YES IT IS WRONG IT IS VERY WRONG.
Give hand jobs instead. No herpes that way.
I honestly can see both sides to this ...so I'll be back to see what others say. Play Ball!
Oh, goodness! Kissing outside of marriage is wrong, eh? I suppose I have no real issue with the OP's stance. It's closing the barn door after the horses have escaped, but whatever. What's next? Shall we shame those who have a beer or two, but no more? I mean how many years do we think they'll only just drink two?? How long before two beers becomes three beers??? It is simply a slippery creek bank, and the end of a kiss, or two beers, for that matter, can't end any place but in drunken sexual promiscuity!!!
There are some for whom one kiss or two beers are one and two too many. How unfortunate there is such a lack of spiritual maturity and emotional maturity that a kiss, or a kiss and two beers, together, no less should concern believer's in Christ. Our Christ is very week indeed if he cannot overcome a kiss and/or a couple of brews. If I believed in such a Christ, I'd go looking for a new one, and trade the first in. I don't care all that much about beer or kisses, and I certainly don't believe the Christ who is powerful enough to save me, can be defeated by a little kiss, or even a little kiss and a couple of Sam Adams... I'm sure someone will brand me a liberal for my disagreeable comment, but I'm sure I can whether the verbal slings and arrows well enough. I mean if I can handle a little kiss and 2 beers I think there is enough toughness to handle some brow beating neo-fundies... How about this, just bring back the chastity belt, and throw away the key...everyone is safe that way...
Just sayin'
We were not Christians when we dated, but we kissed and never had sex. Should single Christian couples kiss is a very odd question in this culture. I feel many church subjects like this are sort of like talking in a holy way when we all know that 95% of Christian couples are kissing. Some get pregnant. Also, pastors sometimes commit adultery. Sex is a powerful emotion and i think dating should start when ready for marriage and the engagement period very short.
We are sinners---sin will show up. It may not be sex, but there will be sin there. That is why Christ came. He made me good--not my will power to stay 'pure.'
Being thoughtful about potential sins is wise and hopefully avoid tempting situations.
I think that depending on the different "level" of your relationship, there are certain things that are acceptable and things that are not. Kissing for a dating couple and engaged couple is fine in my eyes. I think that if you and your partner were concerned with "temptation" and that kissing could lead to more things then perhaps it would be best to avoid it.
Kissing outside of marriage is not a sin or morally wrong.
In some cultures, it is. They aren't even allowed to be in the same room alone until marriage. Very strict things. But really I believe that it should be between you and your betrothed. =) Hope this helps.
I don't really know if this is true. But my parents kissed for the first time on their wedding day and they're still together with 5 kids.
Are pecks okay? or do you spell it as "pecs"
I don't think kissing before marriage is wrong. I do, however, understand many women wanting to save their first kiss with a man until they are married. I would imagine it would make the experience just that much more special.
According to Thayer's Greek lexicon, the Greek word used in that verse means to have sexual intercourse, not kissing.
LOL
Good questions stop where Revelife begins.
ahahahahahahahahaha.....wait this post isn't a joke....?
Even asking this question reveals an extremely distorted view of human sexuality. This kind of question is the sort of question brought up by author Josh Harris, author of "I kissed dating goodbye" and "Not even a hint." The message that Harris and people like Harris try to send is that sexual purity is a worthy goal to pursue. They point to verses like Ephesians 5:3 which advocate having "Not even a hint of any kind of sexual impurity." Josh Harris is known for saying things like "Purity is not a line, it's a direction"
While the viewpoint espoused by these people is certainly biblical, the implications that come along with it are outstandingly awful. According to this philosophy, having sex or even thinking about sex in almost every possible scenario is something that damages you in some way. This brings us to our first horrible conclusion people make when they believe this sort of nonsense:
1) People who have sex outside of marriage are damaged
They aren't, obviously. It makes more sense based on human behaviors we see every day that sex outside of marriage is the norm, and that people who have sex outside of marriage are in no way diminished by the experience - in fact they become better at sex. This conclusion is particularly insulting because lots of people have had premarital sex
Something interesting happens when you take the idea that God watches you all the time and combine it with the idea that God demands perfection from everybody. It results in our second conclusion:
2)Sexual thoughts are harmful
Porn, masturbation, extramarital fantasies, looking at boobs, are all sinful. The only sexual thoughts that aren't are the ones involving the person you are married to - if you aren't married you are out of luck - your mind must be completely asexual no matter what your doctor and the friendly neighbor biologist tell you.
Not only is this completely unrealistic - it's harmful. I had trouble relating to the opposite sex in highschool primarily because of this philosophy. Every time I so much as looked at a girl I had to deal with a completely unnecessary guilt trip. This brings us to our last conclusion.
3)Marriage exists so people can have guilt free sex
I'm going to get some crap for this one - yes I know that Christians still value love, and want to get married for love. However, can anyone honestly say that having sex is not a major motivational factor in the marriage decision within christian relationships? I know that at Christian universities at least it seems to be the deciding factor. When it comes down to it this conclusion is devastating. If you want to preserve the sanctity of marriage then this is probably what you should change. When you let people have sex outside of marriage they have more opportunities to get married for the right reasons.
In conclusion, Idea of purity is downright idiotic. It is based on a false premise, it leads to false conclusions, and it ruins lives. There, I'm done.
Now everyone will hate me...
Yes.
But it depends on the kind of kiss.
Jesus Christ!!! It's only a KISS!!! What if you marry a husband and find out he has a 1 incher??? This is RIDICULOUS!!! When following "rules" makes you miserable it becomes disgusting!!! It is a damn KISS for "Christs" sake!!!!
What if you marry him and he ends up being a really bad kisser? You're stuck with him then.
@anotherdreamwasted_onyou@xanga - EXACTLY!
depends which set of lips you're kissing ;D
Kissing doesn't seal the marriage. The marriage isn't considered consummated until the couple's had sex.
Also I just re-read all of 1 Cor 7. How does it support an argument against kissing? It doesn't seem to have anything to do with what you're talking about at all.
the question posed is somewhat asking for opinion..
but i
thought reading thru the post, i thought it was somewhat like how it is
according to the bible (based on how one understand it)..
when one
merge the two into one, it either become totally ridiculous, or it
signals that the religion allows people to form their own opinion based
on whatever they want even if it go against the scripture the religion
have..
So can I have really good pre-marital sex with lots of men, as long as I promise not to kiss them?
"Emotional attachment is one thing, but physical attachment is easier to fall into."
Indeed. Finding the right partner for life is a monumental task. Once sex is taken down from the pedestal you've placed it on, the real business of living, loving, and forming attachments can begin. Take away the all consuming (very normal) drive to have sex for the first time and you'll be able to pursue and accept love, not lust. As any healthy sexual being can tell you, having kissed another doesn't in any way diminish the power of kissing one you truly love and are loved by. Only for those who are jealous or insecure would it matter.
I've heard this argument before. I'm not about to challenge a person with this opinion: 'kissing outside of marriage is wrong'. To some people, guilt over a kiss is huge. Just like guilt over premarital sex is huge. Now clearly there is this popular opinion that sex outside of marriage is wrong but kissing is just a THING people do... like holding hands~! but ask a hooker, kissing is much more intimate an action than sex is...
Now. I am of the opinion that kissing outside of marriage is A-okay. However, I have come to realize that I really don't like kissing lips to lips with boys outside of a relationship. Kissing is kind of a taste test... when picking a compatible mate, so it seems to make more sense biologically to be able to kiss before you become committed just in case your pharamones don't match up with your partners. But uh oh! you're stuck now.
I had a galpal who was not going to kiss till she knew she met the man she was going to marry-- she wasn't going to wait till she was married-- just that he was the one she wanted to marry.
To each their own.
As one could expect... this post brought out some worldview opinions with zero respect for scripture or opinions having zero insight on how the blessings of God work. e.g. The whole idea of having more sex to get better at sex before marriage is ridiculous! Obviously an opinion from someone who thinks only with the wrong head and no regard or care about losing some of God's blessings on a future marriage in the process. We should want every blessing of God that is available.
One one hand, kissing seems pretty innocent and not technically sex. So I agree with "thinby30" that kissing doesn't seal or consummate the marriage... sex does. Yet, there is something even more intimate about some kissing (maybe more so for the female) than even sex. It depends on the kiss. I personally am OK with some quick forms of affectionate kissing. Yet I also acknowledge that other forms of kissing quickly leads to other sexual activities (the tingly preparing for sex/foreplay kissing).
The question we all need to ask, whether kissing or other touching/affection, is "Is this activity God-glorifying?" If it is a touch leading your body to want or consider more... than stop. It may not be sin at that point but has the potential to lead to sin, so draw the line. God's blessings later, when you do things according to His plans, are worth the wait!!