By Dianna
Will God still forgive you if you commit the same sin over and over again?
From a young age, I don't really know why, but I've kept getting interested in watching kissing scenes and stuff. I have this weird feeling -- pleasurable, I guess? -- and I started masturbating without even knowing I was doing it until years and years later. I don't even know where I got it from!
And I keep feeling really guilty and remorseful every time I masturbate or watch some kissing scene. But everytime I do that, I know that it is a sin, but I keep having this urge to watch it and stuff. But after I do it, I suddenly "come back to my senses" and I feel really stupid for doing it.
I feel like I'm not trying hard enough, and I just keep hoping God will forgive me. But I don't think so cause I keep repeating my mistake even though I am aware of it?
Does God forgive repeat offenders? What are some steps we can take when facing habitual sin to break the cycle?
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Comments (75)
EVERYBODY masturbates, and if the say they don't or haven't, they're lying.
I almost feel like this is a troll post. The bible doesn't say masturbation is a sin. God clearly lists all kinds of sexual sins. He wouldn't have excluded masturbation if it's a sin. It's similar to drinking alcohol. Nowhere does the bible say drinking alcohol is a sin. It's not a sin but getting drunk is. Masturbating is not a sin but lusting after another person to have sex with them is. And watching kissing scenes is also not a sin.
Seriously, revelife? I joined this place because I thought I would get encouraged by reading biblical posts, but instead I just come away dumbfounded. Why do you post stuff like this?
If you feel guilty for it, there is probably a reason for it. I won't say it is necessarily sin, or that it necessarily isn't. If you feel you shouldn't be doing it, then pray that God gives you the strength not to. A friend was helped with another struggle when she went through one of the courses on Setting Captives Free. Look into it, and hopefully God will use it to help you in your struggles.
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/As to the question at the end, God does forgive repeat offenders. If He didn't none of us would have any hope. To see Paul talk about the struggle with repetitive sin look into Romans 7, and then continue into Romans 8, where he starts off by saying, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." The steps to fighting the repetitive sin are to focus daily on the Gospel, even more so when you are struggling. And, do what you can to avoid the sin. John Piper has an older post he wrote about this sort of thing. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/anthem-strategies-for-fighting-lust
@jessispeaks - My guess would be because it is an honest struggle that people have. It isn't a deep theological post, but it is something that theology is the answer to. You'll notice here that there are some good posts and some not so good posts, it depends on what gets submitted. If you can write, I suggest writing something good.
@musterion99@xanga - I wouldn't make the argument from silence. And, I do think there is a case of breaking your own personal convictions being a sin. I think the OP struggles with lust, as the passionate kissing scenes are a making her feel guilty as well.
@MagisterTom@xanga - I agree that breaking our own personal convictions can be sin. Romans 14 touches on that.
I don't know masturbation is a sin or not and don't want to know. But everything from God.
Yeah, I was in that boat once, too.
Listen. Everyone does it. Christians, atheists, muslims... Everyone. The urge for sexual release is a pivotal part of human nature. I don't believe in God, but if you do, then I suppose the best way to look at is that God gave you these urges. Of coarse, I feel the same way about sex, but you believe that sex is for marriage only, but then of coarse we're quick to forget how young people in Bible times married... I'm not even sure they had these urges at that age, so back then it made sense, but now it really doesn't. You hit puberty and get these urges long before it's socially acceptable and even legal to marry someone.
The way I see it, you've got to take whatever the Bible says about sex with a grain of salt for that reason. It wasn't really written for you, in your time. It was written for an archaic time period that doesn't easily apply to you. I know that's not the best thing to say to a Christian, but it's simply true. Making you feel guilty about your completely natural urges, well... it's just absurd. Masturbation and sex are beautiful things in their own right. Learn to see them and experience them in that way.
Take it from a former Christian - this will never go away. You will never "get over" these urges, not any time soon at least. You can't "pray them away," you can't forget about them, they'll always be present. You're human, it's part of the human experience. The only way for you to be at peace with yourself is to just live with them, and learn to control them so that they don't take over your being. Learn to focus on the pleasure and not the guilt, because really you're not doing anything wrong. It'd be like arguing that eating when you're hungry is wrong. Sure, you shouldn't eat too much... but satisfying a basic urge? Scratching the proverbial itch? No, nothing wrong with that all. Enjoy the ride! Enjoy the human experience and for god's sake quit feeling guilty for being human!
Guys, shut up. Wrong or not, habitual masturbation can make a kid feel like a total piece of shit and completely alter their self perception. I sympathize.
Everybody has demons. So I think we can just do our best to work against them.
@MagisterTom@xanga - I agree that it's a struggle some may have. I've just seen some really NOT encouraging things on revelife; things that make Christians look dumb and articles that seem to be posted just to get people debating instead of fellow shipping. But yes, I need to write something!
@Soul_Pizza@xanga - While we have different beliefs because I am a Christian, I like to see that you actually seemed to think about what you wrote, and wrote well, and you didn't unnecessarily insult others in the process. Rare to see a non Christian who is not a jerk. Thanks.
This is a common worry a lot of people in the faith have and are made to feel guilty because of it. The way I see it, if you're so caught up in whether masturbation is a sin or if watching porn is so terrible or missing Church on any given Sunday will send you straight to Hell, you're missing the point of what being Christian is all about. Humanity's understanding of God has evolved over time and it has led to the conclusion that it is IMPOSSIBLE for any person to offend God in any way whatsoever.
@Garishi@xanga - amen
I’m not quite sure how
old you are, but I can tell you right now that I am so proud of you for
responding to the prompting of the HOLY SPIRIT inside of you , as He convicts
you of your sin. God led me to this particular blog through a series of events
and I know if is for this very reason I have come across your post. I am a 23
year old female who has gone through the EXACT thing you are describing. From a
very early age, before my understanding of sex and sexuality I was
masturbating. I would be “turned-on” for lack of better words by kissing,
sexual noises etc. and would find myself responding externally, through
masturbation, to these stimuli. It started with watching kissing scenes and images
I would concoct in my head= elementary school. When I got to middle school I
would watch movie sex scenes. High school I found a stash of my dad’s old porn
magazine’s and begin to look at explicit images. Around this time I needed more
and more stimuli to get me that same feeling of “pleasure”. I can compare my
desires to that of a drug addict, I sincerely just needed more. No longer was I
satisfied with kissing scenes, the dirtier the images the better.
The sentiments you
described of “feeling really guilty and remorseful” every time you would
masturbate, would always happen to me as well. After I would masturbate I would
be overcome with this horrible feeling of guilt and disgust with myself and the
things I had just engaged in. The porn, the lust everything felt wrong
afterwards, but each time I did it I was presented with another opportunity to
convince myself that masturbation was no sin, until I dealt with the pain
afterwards.
I HAD TO RESPOND TO
YOUR LETTER because I was concerned after reading so many posts on this website
trying to discredit the conviction that you are feeling, possibly misleading you
from the truth. To be technical God’s word does not literally say masturbation
is a sin. When you started to come to a mild understanding of sexuality you
found that sexual encounters enticed you to “masturbate”. You were turned on,
or “lusting” after either the man or woman in a scene, imagining your own
scenarios, but all in all we can conclude that your mind wasn’t on Spanish homework
while you masturbated. If it was then we can forget my whole argument, but for
the sake of continuing… you needed to sin in order be in an atmosphere of lust
in order for you to be turned on enough to WANT to masturbate. You are being
led to your feelings of guilt because of the sin COMPLETELY TIED TO and
INSEPERABLE from the act of masturbation which is lust and impure
thoughts. I will give you a couple of
verses that plainly spell out how God feels about sexual immorality.
Matt 5:28-29 (NIV)
[Jesus:] "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has
already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you
to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of
your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."
Eph 5:3 (NIV) But
among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of
impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
Ro 6:13 (NIV) Do
not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but
rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to
life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.
1 Peter 4:1-2
(Wey) Since, then, Christ suffered in the flesh, you also must arm yourselves
with a determination to do the same--because he who has suffered in the flesh
has done with sin--that in the future you may spend the rest of your earthly
lives, governed not by human passions , but by the will of God.
“Can
you, in all honesty, masturbate without sinning against the clear commands of
Christ? If yes, then we are never told that the act itself is impure or
forbidden. But let us be honest and admit that it is not so easy to do if we
are committed to avoid mental sexual sin.”- http://www.acts17-11.com/dialogs_masturbation.html
Dianna, I’m not sure
of your biblical knowledge, or how sound your doctrine is, but the Spirit of
the Living God is living inside of you as well as every believer= “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s
Spirit lives in you?” (1
Corithians 3:16]. God’s word also says that the Holy Spirit’s purpose inside of
us is to remind us and teach us all things= “But the Counselor, the Holy
Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and
will remind you of everything I have said to you” (John 14:36). Praise God that
His word is true and the Holy Spirit is teaching and reminding your inner self
of everything God has said which is His word.
You are not feeling guilty for no reason; the Holy Spirit is grieving every
time you subject Him to that which is unholy and sinful.
To return to your initial questions: Does God forgive the repeat
offender? What are some steps we can take when facing habitual sin to break the
cycle?
First question, First answer=
YES!!!
***God will
forgive you times infinity when you come to Him with a sincere and repentant
heart on the matter! What I will say is and what I’ve come to know is what God
says “This is how we can be sure that we have come to
know him: if we continually keep his commandments. The person who says, “I have come to know him,” but does not
continually keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth has no place in that
person” (1 John 2:3-4). Don’t take this verse too strictly because our nature
is SIN, we will fall SHORT of missing the perfection of God until He calls us
into His presence in heaven. This verse is basically saying, God’s love and
salvation is so great that when a person TRULY comes to an understanding and knowledge
of God and their relationship to Him, He is so powerful to transform their
hearts that it would be impossible for that person to go on living the life of
sin they were in before Him. In practical terms that means for example: when I realized what I was doing was a sin I
was sorry and repentant. When I began to really study my word and when God
began to be a priority in my life it became harder and harder to out rightly
sin against Him for fear of breaking His Heart. I began to seek only things
that would please Him! This comes with time, patience and prayer Diana, but I promise
you God can and will work it out because HE IS ALREADY WORKING INSIDE OF YOU!
You have already taken the first step
Dianna and that is conviction of your sin.
Next step is pray to God for Him to take
the taste of those desires out of your mouth and then take the proper steps to
resist the temptation! I would suggest a fast. I did a 21 day fast in which I
did not watch porn, or masturbate for 21 days and that was the beginning of God’s
deliverance for me. It was a wonderful time for me to focus on Him and dedicate
those days solely to HIM, which means no masturbation, so STAY IN YOUR WORD AND
PRAY!!!!
The way that God reveals Himself to
us is through His word. A good starting place to start drawing nearer to God is
through the books of John and Romans. Start reading and let God have His way.
Be patient with yourself. This is NOT
an overnight process. I have gone for months without masturbating only to drawn
in, when I’m disconnected, by allowing the distractions of life to lead me
there again for a day or even a week. God continues to remind me of how fragile
I am when I seem to think I’ve got everything under control. He said in His
word that He is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE (John 14:6)… You are going to
have to rely and ABIDE (cling to, rely on) solely on Him to work on this sin,
but I promise you He is worth the journey… your salvation, your peace and your
joy are in Him as well!
I love you with the love of Christ
and I am praying for you Dianna!!!
What kind of nut jobs come to discuss masturbation on a web site. It just goes to show you how wacko Christians truly are.
There's a difference between occasionally giving in to the flesh, and having no control. And the difference is addiction, much like a person who repeatedly goes back to booze, meth, too much food, you name it. If this is something you cannot stay away from for a long period of time, I truly believe you should find a group to commit yourself to. Accountability in a program, not just someone telling you that God finds it offensive. You need a way to learn to get out of the cycle, and guilt heaped on will just make it worse.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - In order to avoid confusion with your comments, you should be sure to tell people that you are not a Christian. Or, if you believe yourself to be a Christian, I suggest you go read the bible, because your views are completely foreign to it.
@Captric@xanga - A simple Google, Bing, or Yahoo search could tell you that plenty of folks do discuss sexual proclivities and habits online, and that Christians as a group are hardly the only ones.
So even if Christians are "wacko" as you so kindly point out, the above blog post would not be very good evidence in favor of your point.
Diana, no one can be this naive. If you truly believe this then you need to talk to a spiritual adviser...a FEMALE one. And PLEASE don't update us on something that would be more suited to Datingish than Revelife.
I wonder how people would actually react if Jesus answers this. Everyone here would probably shut up.
Yes, you are forgiven. Grace is neither earned or unearned; it is merely given. You can take steps out of the situation, with a little help from other -loving and understanding- people, and of course a little discipline in your part. There is nothing you can do that can make God love you more or less. You probably just have to face God and actually talk to Him about this-trust me, he is merciful and kind to forgive you. If you genuinely seek help from Him, He will probably send you people who will help you. Have faith. You are not alone in this world.
most people masturbate. its pretty normal and healthy. nothing wrong with it.
@MagisterTom@xanga - True Christians don't judge.
@Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Meh, Jesus does tell us to judge professing believers, actually. He's pretty clear on that.
@Nous_Apeiron@xanga - Of course people discuss sex online... They just don't discuss it as whether or not it is a so called "sin" according the rules of some unseen ghost looking over your shoulder as you "do it".