Saturday, 19 May 2012

• Singleness: Is it a Gift or a Curse?

  Are you complete? Are you happy? Aren’t you asking for someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life? Do you feel lonely because you don’t have one? Aren’t you getting envious of your friends who already have their own life?
  
  You’re nearly out of the calendar. Well, still got bingo! You’re getting older; friend, you’re not getting younger anymore. Settle down! Wouldn't you love to see yourself having your own children? You can still catch the last trip, pal!

  We can enumerate that these are the common, repetitive, monotonous and insistent teasing remarks we receive from some of our friends. In addition, these are the overused questions we hear from people if we have already reached the maturity age of getting married or if we belong to a group in our batch from high school or college who haven’t yet experienced the ceremony of matrimony.
  
  But should we need to feel stressed every time we hear these?

  Or should we feel ashamed, miserable and embarrassed any moment we encounter such remarks? Or have we reached the point when we ask ourselves: “What’s wrong with me?” Do I look ugly? Am I too good looking to not have a partner at my age? Should we need to entertain the "self pity party" or ignore them?
  
  In my own life, instead of questioning and struggling toward what other people may tell me concerning my status, I wonder why don’t we examine ourselves (singles) and believe that some people can be seen as having the gift of marriage while some might have the gift of singleness.

  For those people who aspire for marriage:

  In the book of 1 Peter 5:7, we read: "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." 

  You can talk with God about your desire to be married. He cares about how you feel, and He is waiting for you to talk with Him about it. You can give all your concerns to Him and trust that He has your very best in mind.

  For those who feel that they have the gift of singleness:

  Firstly, it is a gift because the Bible says so. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 shows us that an unmarried man is concerned with the pleasing the Lord, while a married man has to please the Lord and his wife. Singleness gives us freedom to serve God without having to think about a husband or wife, and means we're just seeking to serve God first and no-one else. This is not to suggest marriage is not good; the Bible clearly states it's a gift, but marriage or children can cause strains in all sorts of ministry areas which singleness would not.

  Practical things like hospitality can be easier if you're single. You don't have to worry about what your husband, wife or children think about inviting that person over for Sunday lunch, or about having to be careful how much time you spend doing church work in case you neglect your duties as a husband or wife.

  Singleness provides us with such a great opportunity to stand out for Jesus and be good salt and light in the world.  By abstaining from sexual relations while single, a Christian single stands out in stark contrast to the world where sex before marriage is prominent. This means that single people are more clearly and more obviously witnesses for Christ than married Christian couples. After all, we are told 'let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.' (Matthew 5:16)

  Remember that God loves and cares us whether we are married or single! 

  Hope this will help. Lord, bless us all!
  
  If you are single, do you see this time as a gift or a curse?  What determines how you feel about your relationship status?  What are the benefits of being single?  If you are married, what do you wish you would have known about marriage when you were single?  What encouragement can you give those who feel their time has come and gone without a lasting relationship?

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