If I was on the fence about why there was a reason to come back and start blogging my usual tirades against religion, I was given the final push over the edge. Earlier this week, I had a friend attempt suicide due to untreated depression issues. It was tremendously sad, but it and the nearly 50 stitches accompanying it were a wake up call she dearly needed. But what happened yesterday is on a whole extra level of just fucking wrong.
A friend from high school, we'll just call him D, realized that after years of trying his best to deny who, at his very core, he truly was, it was time to accept reality and help the people near and dear to him to accept the same. The problem is, everyone near and dear to D was strongly tied to a particularly conservative group within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka the Mormons. When D told them that he is, and always has been, attracted to other men, his his friends ostracized him. His church shunned him. His family disowned him. And when D realized that there was nobody in his life who cared more about his well-being than in the immutable writings of books written hundreds or thousands of years ago, D tried to kill himself.
I've lost friends to suicide. Far too many. For a middle class white boy from the suburbs of Minnesota, I've lost far too many people to their poor choices, be it drugs, violence, drunk driving, abusive boyfriends or self-destruction. I think suicide is an extremely selfish act. But being that I also have a history of health issues, both physical and mental, I don't judge people who make this choice. Especially not D. When I feel extremely depressed, I have a giant net of people who are there to catch me, to keep me from plummeting into that dark abyss. D didn't have that. In his time of need, every single person who he counted on to be there for him turned their back. His brother, his mother, his father, his grandparents, his friends from college, his friends from work, his pastor, his congregation -- none of them cared more for the life of a sweet, gentle man than for the words of hate passed down through their religion. In the end, a neighbor D knew only in passing saved his life as he dangled by his neck.
If it weren't for religion, the closest thing we'd have to an anti-gay movement is "it's just icky", and you can guarantee that would never get support in the polls. Only organized religion can take an entire person's quarter-century history of good deeds, kind words and well wishing and reduce it down to "he's an evil queer." And only organized religion can have the power to try to legislate this holy mandate to hate into law.
Somebody once asked me what the proper term for homosexual people is: is it gays, homos, or queers?
You know what I like to call homosexual people? People.
How do you respond? Has the Christian church hurt someone you know? Have you ever had a friend try to commit suicide? What can Christians learn from these stories?
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Comments (78)
dont post stuff like this if you dont want to claw yourself to death out of frustration and anger at the comments people will post! be careful!
What's going to happen here is what typically happens. Many Christians will get offended and instead of admitting that we can handle these situations in a much better way, they will defend themselves by trying to turn it around on nonbelievers and blaming them for people committing suicide.
It's a very sad situation that needs to be taken seriously and I hope that this article give people a reason to reflect and see what we can do to be better at being Christ-like.
Guy commits suicide and someone blames religion? I'm no fan of religion, but even I don't blame them. I blame the fag for his own failings. If the fags cannot handle this world, then perhaps they should keep their faggotry to themselves, yes?
Although I, as a fascist, seek to destroy ALL religions as their is no need for such a primitive order, am curious to see how you all respond to a question I have.
HOW WOULD JESUS RESPOND TO A FAGGOT? IMAGINE A FAGGOT HITTING ON JESUS. WHAT WOULD HE DO?
@Captric@xanga - Faggots going to Hell? Hallelujah! I knew there must be SOMETHING to this religion crap.
Jesus is good.
People are not.
Christians are just people who have thrown their miserable, flawed, evil selves onto Jesus. Every one of us is in a process, and we're far from perfect in any way.
Any time a Christian acts in a way that is not loving, he or she is not acting like Jesus.
Jesus loves your friend, and His people should love your friend, too. If we don't, we're failing to live the way Christianity calls us to live.
@wakeupgen@xanga - "It SHOULD feel like an accusation of
religion, because Christians have not stepped up to the plate to love
and even seek friendship with people who are different from us."
"Sadly, Christianity today seems to be the one place where we feel free to beat up our wounded."
Aren't you holding to as blanket and prejudice a statement and stance as the Christians you say are being accused? I say this because I am a Christian and I have gay friends! In fact, I was the only person one of these friends felt comfortable confessing this to. This friendship has stretched and grown me. I had to practice the Christian credo of "hate the sin, love the sinner" a way I'd never done before.
So, not all of us are the prejudice persecutors this post makes us out to be.
I think you should really brush up on the doctrines of the Church. Just to be a little more informed about the teachings and beliefs regarding homosexuality. Just saying.
And why do people assume that Christians know all the answers? It doesn't matter who you are or what situation you're in, suicide is an absolutely devastating thing to all involved, especially for those who are left behind and it's so sad that in the wake of something so horrible happening the fingers are being pointed.
Would a Jew killing themselves vs. an atheist killing themselves make a difference? NO! At least it shouldn't! People of all walks of life, in every living condition, from every lifestyle and every religion commit suicide.
And do you think that instilling hatred in the person who almost lost their life is going to make their pain any better? Absolutely not. At least not in a productive and healthy way. Seriously.
But I guess it's easier to have someone to blame it on 'cause God forbid that we blame anything on ourselves, right? It's always someone's fault. If it's not the Christians' fault, it's the atheists; if it's not the democrats' fault, it's the republicans'.
There are so many things in life that are boiled down to "whose fault is this"? And really, it is so petty. It really is.
I am a Christian. Am I perfect? Not at all. I love people, as God would love them. I am trying my best to be using His love on each person, regardless of who/what they are. I accept people as they are, whether they are good, fake, drug users, murderer, homosexual... anything that they are; because they are human.
But does that mean I approve of their choices? Does that mean I approve of their lifestyle? It is not required of me to approve or accept. What requires me is to love others. As Jesus said; "Love your enemies. Love your neighbor as you love yourself."If you have such a high hatred for anyone, then obvious problem is, you hate yourself to begin with. That is sad.Here is a very nice video from Catholic Answers, witness of Christian televangelists on the subject of Same-sex "marriage" give some an idea of choices http://www.catholic.com/video/same-sex-marriage
This blog says, revelife, to be a rev. you must a have 4 years of university bible study, To be a deacon you must have 4 years of university bible study and 8 year of college bible study. No one, on revelife meets these requirements? I know there a lot of people calling themselfs shrinks in the making on xanga.
@The_messenjah777@xanga - I'm not against the church. I'm a Christian. I even lead worship. I want the church to succeed.
My real question is, why is it when someone offers an objective criticism of the church and even offers a solution, he is immediately labeled as "against Christianity" and persecuting the church. Speaking truth about the church's failings is not persecution.
I want to see the church succeed. Not everyone in the church is contributing to the problem, but many people that represent the Christian body are, and it's affecting people's view of Christianity as a whole. It sucks, I hate it, and I'm doing my best to help show people how they come across towards non-believers.
Why is that such a bad thing to call the church out on?
@wakeupgen@xanga - Thanks for informing me you're a Christian. I must confess, though, that your comment didn't sound like it was written by a Christian to me. Maybe it was just me.
I have so little faith in the people I share this world with (both christian and otherwise). You bicker like children, trying to void what the other is saying by nit picking at technicalities. Yes, almost every post here probably could have been more politcally correct or more tactful, but most of them also carry very valid points which should be deeply considered. We all have so much to learn from eachother, open your ears and open your hearts to what people have to say. Maybe if we weren't so terrified of listeningtopeople who see things differently from us, then perhaps our sturggling brothers and sisters would feel supported in their struggles and therfore hopeful. I used to believe that suicide was a terribly selfish and personal desission... until I found myself at suicide's door. I now believe that if a person reaches the point that they see no hope... no light..t is each and every human beings fault. Didn't Christ call us to shine our lights for all to see? and to not hide out love under wicker baskets? It is our calling to LOVE EVERYBODY. If you don't know how to love someone without enabling sin then I suggest that perhaps YOU still have MUCH room to grow as a christian. Don't use their sins as an excuse to stunt your own growth. And don't you dare shrug off trageties like this just because you don't like the wording it was reported in. We all are responcible for God's children, and we are all guilty of serious sins of omission. Let's stop acting like it's ok to be ignorant towards eachother, and for MY sake can't we all just get along?
The only thing about this post I have a problem with is the obvious exaggeration. "I've lost friends to suicide. Far too many. For a middle class white boy... " VERY few people personally knew more than one or two people who commited suicide. So this young person (refers to himself as a boy), knows "far too many". Hmm. Sorry, kind of shoots your credibility.
I prefer suicide by wristcutting. surprise, jesus really is a terrible, menacing black cloud
.... I also believe that this post is relavent to every christian, not just homosexuals. When I was young my family outed my cousin because she moved in with her fiance (who was a man, btw). Shacking up was against our religious laws (at least that's what my family decided) she didn't have sex until she married him, but that was irrelevent to them. By watching this sort of behavior, and realizing the many ways that even I have been victim to it, I realized that my "very God-fearing and religious" family was emotionally abusing my cousin and used "God's law" as an excuse for every time their ignorance was challenged. They were small-minded and unwilling to look beyond their own personal feelings. So many people are taught to hate themselves because they are sinners due to these "christian" behaviors.
I do believe that this is a very prominent flaw in ALL christian religion. I also believe that anyone who behaves this way to any degree is not truely a christian, they are merely misrepresenting the entire faith.
This post has truth that people who claim to be "christian" end up harming each other more than helping, but it isn't anti-religious. It merely challenges "christians" to follow Christ's commands to love one another.... like they SHOULD have been doing in the first place.
You should start your own church. Lots of kisses....=)
@GodlessLiberal@xanga - This is tragic. You know, I can really relate to this story. I have someone I know and love finally tell his very catholic family about himself. The response has been very negative and they have turned their backs on him. They believe it's wrong since, as they put it, their religion teaches it's wrong. It breaks my heart to see how the people he loves so much ostracize him because of what they believe their religion teaches....
I agree with you.
@escape_rabbit@xanga - My family is Catholic. My sister is gay. My parents love their daughter and loved their daughter's girl friend.
We all socialized together, no questions asked.So what happened to your acquaintance has nothing whatever to do with Catholicism. In fact Catholics are required by our faith to treat homosexuals with the respect and tenderness that is due everyone.
@PrisonerxOfxLove@xanga - Minus the fact that their catholic belief and upbringing played a role in their decision. The priest at their church has been known to get on the puplit and spew fire and brimestone against homosexuality. For the record, I never said that all catholics are ubiquitous in their beliefs, and if that is what YOU are trying to infere from what I said then you are incorrect. The thing is that religion did have an influence in this case, and that is why I can relate to the story told my Godless. But thanks for playing curtis.
@wakeupgen@xanga - to be entirely fair, not only does the OP have a history of "religion bashing" he as much as states this intent in the first paragraph of this very post.
"If I was on the fence about why there was a reason to come back and start blogging my usual tirades against religion, I was given the final push over the edge"
this is where i tuned everything else out. the motive is not to create a helpful dialogue, but to create a hostile dialogue and it is self proclaimed.
@iones_island@xanga - I realize that, but it doesn't minimize his point at all. It's a very serious issue that has been ignored for too long.
@escape_rabbit@xanga - Here is the official teaching of the Catholic Church on concerning treatment of homosexuals:
2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. LINK
So if what you say is true, then the priest and people in question are violating Church doctrine. There is nothing in Catholic teachings or beliefs that demands singling out or shunning homosexuals.