Friday, 27 April 2012
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Why I’ve Never Been Baptized
By Tom ZunigaSeveral years ago I watched my younger siblings do it. I’ve often wondered whether I would ever follow in their footsteps. Been questioned about it plenty of times.
But I already have Jesus in my heart. I love Him dearly. He is everything; He’s the only thing.
For nearly 25 years God’s will has superseded mine, despite countless stumbles along the way. I’m certainly not perfect, but I strive to do the right thing. To love people like God has inexplicably loved me. I believe in Him as sure as I do oxygen or the intoxicating smell of cinnamon buns baking in an oven. When all else fails, He never has, does, or will.
I’m already assured of living with Him forever someday. What else is there?
Why get baptized?
I’ve spent most of my life in isolation. Particularly within church. A cruel irony considering I’ve attended approximately 99.3% of the 1,305 Sunday services stretching back 25 years.
I’ve always gone to church, but I’ve hardly ever felt part of church. Always witnessed the story happening around me, but had never taken part in the story myself.
Baptism always seemed to be a waste of time considering my utter disconnect from the church. What did I matter? Why stand in front of hundreds of people who don’t care about or even know me, only to return to obscurity once the applause dies?
Why put myself through such heartless ritualistic agony?
In a perfect world, sure, I would have done it. Would have taken that clothed bath over a decade ago with no shame over proclaiming my faith. But my world has been far from perfect.
From Georgia to California, I’ve desperately desired a church that would truly welcome me into their fold. But after dozens of church visits and small group experimentation, I was left high and literally dry. My shameful introverted socially incompetent self just couldn’t belong, no matter the building, no matter how hard I tried or wanted it.
Time and again, my thoughts in church would reverberate: Just worship Jesus alone from the end seat. Ignore the other people on this row. Put on a cheesy smile during the greeting. You have nothing to offer these people; they’ll only offer you nothing in return. You’re not worthy of their love.
You don’t really matter here.
But over the last year especially, God has been prodding me out of isolation. Toward connection into the impossible realm of genuine community.
I could write a book on my YouthWorks experience in Milwaukee last summer, and I probably will someday. In short, it was a whirlwind summer of connecting with people — friends — on deep daunting vulnerable levels previously unforeseen and unimaginable.
In my dazed return to southern California last fall, I somehow found a phenomenal church after years of searching. Have also been blessed by a life-changing life group who have graciously welcomed me as one of their own.
I matter.
In reality, I mattered all along. Jeremiah 29:11 was just as true then as it is now. But now I actually believe that promise. That I, indeed, have a story worth sharing and a part to contribute to this Body—even if it’s just a crooked pinky toenail or a single randomly white eyebrow hair that always grows back no matter how many times I pluck it.
Over the last several months my church has been engaged in a series entitled “The Story of God.” We’ve essentially gone through the entire Bible, and I’m in awe over the story God’s weaved over thousands of years. Is still weaving today. The New Testament hit me especially hard.
I went to the park with my e-Bible one day and searched every occurrence of the word “baptized.” Read many stories of people believing in a man who turned their lives around. They just couldn’t hold in their joy; they had to proclaim it. Had to get baptized.
And so after two and a half decades of wandering from church to church and community to community, I figured what better day than my 25th birthday tomorrow to take the plunge. As a writer with a fancy for symbolism, I couldn’t be more thrilled about the timing.
This is, appropriately, the year of “courageous,” but if you were to have told me on January 1st I’d be getting baptized in three short months, I’d have said no way.
God loves working with the “no way.” Fitting.
The thought of getting in front of people is still a butterflies-committing-suicide-in-stomach one, but I’m ready to do this. No more fear. No shame.
If you live in the area and would like to be there, hit me up for the deets. Would be honored to tie the bow on my first quarter-century with you.
So there you have it — why I’ve never been baptized.
Until now.
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- From: twoBex
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Comments (30)
Do you believe God doesn't want you to be baptized? I kind of look at what Jesus did. If I weren't already I would want to be baptized. I see it as a sacrament not a silly ritual. Baptism washes away sin--Original and individual sin. A sacrament is an outward sign of God acting on us, purifying us.
Congrats! What church are you getting baptised at?
@romic@xanga - You obviously didn't read the blog.
It took about seven months after I became a Christian for me to baptized. Part of that had to do with wanting to be baptized in a lake, in public. Baptism in a hot tub in someone's backyard with only church people around wasn't going to cut it for me.
@thomasmarkz@twitter - Thanks. You are twoBex?
Congratulations, was so happy to see your post turn around! I was baptised age 12, but it was not at all from my heart and it began to really trouble me as I started to really understand and have a real relationship with God, so I was baptised for all the right reasons last year. No regrets! Enjoy your special day! http://talkingchristian.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/my-baptism-oh-happy-day.html
I was baptized when I was 12 or 13, alongside my father and brother. It was at a retreat with a church that we had grown close to. Although that's not the case anymore, it's still an event that's very important to me, and that was probably the beginning of my 'true' life as a Christian, despite being raised in a Christian family from birth.
The only baptism I've ever considered somewhat pointless was the baptism of babies. I see baptism as a cleansing of the soul and a ritual accompanying acceptance of Jesus Christ as one's savior. Babies are pure-hearted, and at the same time, cannot make the choice of being Christian. So what good is it? I think it's much more meaningful when a person makes that choice for themselves.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - Infant baptism is more for the parents than the infant. At that point, the infant has no cognitive distinction between sin and the lack thereof. The ritual of infant baptism is an outward offering of giving the child over to Christ, to be raised by the church family as well as the parents. A dedication of the infant to God and the church. Some congregations don't do the baptism part, only call it a "dedication". Some ministers will hold the infant and pray over it, some have the Elders congregate around the parents and lay hands on them, others sprinkle "Holy Water" on the child as the ritual sign of baptism. This outward public action is a declaration of your heart and intentions, an outward sign that your goal is to raise your child to walk with Jesus, to be engaged in the church, and to see the church family as a large resource to draw upon and rely on as they grow.
To the OP. Congrats on understanding the concept of baptism and deciding to move forward with that. It is a little awkward to do that publicly, as we are all self conscious to a point. However, it is an act of submission. And Jesus submitted Himself to the Father. He recognized John as an agent of His Father, and submitted himself to John to be baptised. In order to lead, we also have to learn how to follow...
Congrats,Tom! I was having a little trouble following your initial post.
@Ork58@xanga - Good post! I agree. The origin of infant baptism may go back to the days of The Bubonic Plague because if one got the plague it started out as a cold, but they could be dead in less than a week. I agree that infants don't know what's going on, but having witnessed many infant baptisms they seem to. It puts a great responsibility on parents, God parents to raise the baby in the Church.
On Easter I witnessed four adult converts being baptized by immersion. Afterwards they changed out of wet garments into dry, white ones. I found it impressive. They went on to receive other sacrament, too.
The Good Thief was accepted and all he did was acknowledge Jesus as a good and holy man. So much for complex theology. Oh yes, he wasn't baptised either, so don't be concerned. Don't do it unless you are convinced it is the right thing to do. Carrying out rituals for their own sake is pointless and hypocritical. Best to stay dry.
@thomasmarkz@twitter - My point was he believed what? That Jesus was a good and holy man. The Muslims believe that and so do most people who believe he was an historical figure. That is what I meant by "so much for complex theology."
@Ork58@xanga - Thanks for the info! As one who was never baptized myself as a baby, I didn't know that at all! Nonetheless, I think that even if a person is baptized soon after birth, they should consider being baptized again at their own will. I've heard people say things like "Oh, I was already baptized as a baby," as if it should only be a one-time thing. As for me, I'm currently not in a church, but when I find one someday, I would like to be baptized again.
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - In the Catholic tradition, and some other similar Churches infant baptism is the norm. One can be baptized at any age, but an person baptized as an infant would receive First Communion around age 7. At that time that person would renew their baptismal vows and profess their faith. Catholics are confirmed from age 13 on--this is a baptism in the Holy Spirit and done only once after much preparation.
@thomasmarkz@twitter - I got a bit confused, but finally figured it out.
@Lovegrove@xanga - Not to nit-pick, but the thief said to Jesus, "Remember me when you come into your kingdom." Sounds like he was acknowledging a King (Lord) and not merely a good and holy man.
The practice of baptism in pagan religions seems to have been based on a belief in the purifying properties of water. In ancient Babylon, according tothe Tablets of Maklu, water was important as a spiritual cleansing agent in the cult of Enke, lord of Eridu. In Egypt, theBook of Going Forth by Daycontains a treatise on the baptism of newborn children, which is performed to purify them of blemishes acquired in the womb. Water, especially the Nile's cold water, which was believed to have regenerative powers, is used to baptize the dead in a ritual based on the Osiris myth. Egyptian cults also developed the idea of regeneration through water. The bath preceding initiation into the cult of Isis seems to have been more than a simple ritual purification; it was probably intended to represent symbolically the initiate's death to the life of this world by recalling Osiris' drowning in the Nile. So just like all of the stories and rituals, baptism was practiced centuries before Christianity and was merely pliagerized by Christians.
Some say the Good Thief, Dimas, was baptized by John the Baptist. It was his contrition and faith in Jesus that saved him. There is also something called Baptism of Desire. Dimas certainly had that!
@IfIOnlyKnewThen@xanga - "Not to nit-pick, but the thief said to Jesus, "Remember me when you come into your kingdom." Sounds like he was acknowledging a King (Lord) and not merely a good and holy man."
Semantics. I'll give it further thought when I read the text in the original. Until that is discovered in some clay pot somewhere, I'll read into it what I can rather than take other people's word for what is there. The Good Thief (GT) "at least" recognised the worthiness of Jesus. Whether GT had his head filled with fully developed Christian Trinitarian theology is another question and one worthy of being doubted as to its veracity.
"Your kingdom" can have other meanings that acknowledgement of a king. It could be argued that those who make it through the Pearly Gates are in "their" kingdom. The very term "kingdom" has mundane social and political meanings which do not of necessity transfer to a spiritual plane.
@Lovegrove@xanga - The claim that baptism by water is not a necessary runs into trouble when compared to Christ's claim that "except a man be born of water, and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God."
This gives us two options.a.) Christ was lying or at least, speaking in hyperbole.b.) That Christ was NOT lying, and baptism by water is essential
If (a.), He could not have carried out His atonement, and this is all rather purposeless.
If (b.), we can only take it that our understanding of the Good Thief is limited.
I would rather think the latter, and not the former.
@Endersig@xanga - Of course it was hyperbole. It is amazingly primitive and and an example of childish concrete thinking to insist on actual physical water to wash spiritual "dirt" away. I'd expect some witchdoctor in the forest to insist on actual water but not a Christian.
Region is full of rituals that become or became essential. They are only signs of intent. It is not what goes into a man but what comes out of a man that makes him clean or stained.
In passing, doesn't Jesus also say we are to be baptised by fire? Do you recommend bonfires outside Cathedrals? I know what has been tried but that was for other reasons.
It is argued whether baptism by actual water is essential for salvation.
The Good Thief was not baptised, unless a jesting legionnaire threw a bucket of water over him, adding insult to injury.
“Jesus
answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of
water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God” (John 3:5)
I interpret that to mean natural birth and repentance.
The
insistence on actual baptism in the wet stuff, especially if there is
no whiskey in it, is a primitive concept worthy of a barbarian deep in
the forest or the jungle, not to forget the desert or the Bible Belt
backwoods. It smacks of magic.
Rituals are merely aids to
understanding. Without repentance, all is lost. Whether one got his arse
wet in some river is hardly the point.
It has been argued that Jesus meant what he said. Let’s look at another saying attributed to him:
“And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell” (Mark 9:47
That
has been taken quite literally by poor deluded barbarians in mediaeval
Europe, mainly regarding the genitalia. Carnal men (is there any other
kind?) who had reached some level of repentance, used to castrate
themselves in order to control their urges and so devote themselves to a
life or prayer and contemplation. Is there anyone advocating that
today, outside of some jungle clearing, that is?
If you do not
need to remove your testicular orbs with an instrument better suited to
send chickens to the pot and your enemies to Valhalla, you do not need
to dampen and ruin the no doubt impressive result of your last visit to
the coiffeur.
One could argue that the water business is meant
literally but the removing of eyes business is meant allegorical. The
answer to that is who says what is what?
As is my wont, I'll place this as a post on my site.
A ritual of any kind is pretty meaningless unless the person involved does it with a full heart. I think it is good you waited until you found a family within the church. It sounds like your baptism was a lot more meaningful if you "just did it because I'm a Christian and I should".
I continued to attend church with my grandmother from time to time, before turning 18 but after I converted to my current path, and treated it as an educational experience, and knew the minister was overall teaching good life lessons that are good to hear, regardless if I consider Jesus my savior or not. I refused to take communion though. I understood the importance of the ritual to those that believed, and felt participating would be disrespectful. Of course, my parents and grandmother weren't pleased.
Come to Alexandria, VA! DC Metro Church will welcome you. :)
Seems like you are being baptized into a community you happen to enjoy at the moment. I am not sure at all what liking a bunch of people in a church or liking the preacher has to do with deciding to get baptized. It seems to me if one believes in the magic of baptism that it shouldn't make any difference whether it was done in a church you hated or loved.
I am not trying to be a jerk here. I simply point out that I don't get the significance of liking some church or preacher, because surely communities change, preachers come and go or turn out to have a seriously flawed past and so on.
From my understanding of baptism you are symbolically washing away the past and symbolically testifying that you are joining Jesus in his mission with the sinners of the world and not merely joining a kind of spiritual glee club.
@Lovegrove@xanga - I truly hate to speak to you. But, the "good thief,"St. Dismas, did more than what you tell this person to whom you replied to their post. He said, "Remember me, when you go into your kingdom."
that's a lot more than what St. Cornelius (the Centurion who was in charge of the execution, and who stuck the lance into Jesus' heart to verify He was dead) said, " He was truly an innocent man." Dismas's words imply an acknowledgement that Jesus was the Christ, the savior of humanity, the conqueror of death. It was a complex statement. Besides, Dismas shared in the sufferings of Jesus because he experience the same type of execution, crucifixion. So VERY PROFOUND things were shared between the two men, not something TRIVIAL as you suggest.