Saturday, 21 April 2012
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Interfaith Relationships: Would You Convert for Love?
[This is reposted as part of our Best-Of Revelife Week. It was originally posted on November 5, 2009.]I read an interesting article yesterday which reported that Ivanka Trump, the daughter of the infamous millionaire Donald Trump, got married recently to Jared Kushner, the owner of The New York Observer. That would be the end of the story, were it not for the fact that Kushner and his family are devout orthodox Jews. In order to gain acceptance into her fiancee's family, Ivanka Trump converted to Judaism.
Interfaith relationships can be very complicated, and a variety of outcomes can occur. Some seem to work out just fine for both parties, while other relationships end because the divide caused by differences in faith is too wide to be bridged by love alone. Perhaps more infrequently, one partner decides that he or she will convert to the other faith.
This isn't to say that the conversion is for love alone; after all, it is perfectly reasonable to suggest that, while falling in love with another person, one can also fall in love with his or her faith. Yet it is a slippery slope, as deep and personal as religious beliefs can be. There is always a chance that the conversion was for the wrong reasons and that later on he or she will realize the conversion was a mistake. How much more complicated a relationship gets when one realizes one has changed just to please the other person and not to please oneself!
Religious conversion is not for the faint of heart and not to be taken lightly. I don't expect anyone to come to having a relationship with Christ without first thoughtfully and carefully considering it, and I can only hope that those of other faith practices would feel the same way.
I don't pretend to know the heart and mindset of Ivanka Trump, but her example certainly makes me pause and consider what I would do in a similar situation.
Would you convert for love? If you've experienced a similar situation, what outcome or lesson came about from the relationship?
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Comments (22)
I wouldn't convert, nor would I expect him to convert. If he and his family can't accept me then screw him!
I couldn't convert, either, and I certainly couldn't turn my back on Christ. To break the heart of a girlfriend or fiancée is one thing, but to reject His completely? I just couldn't bear it.
would I convert from Christianity to another religion? A snowball has a better chance in hell. I agree with Ancient Scribe, I could not turn my back on Christ. I lived without Christ for over half my life, I can't return back to that type of life. It was not life at all. Now that I know Christ, and I have the peace, that comes with such a relationship, there is no turning back.
Now, would I date a girl from another branch of Christianity? absolutely, I have no qualms about it whatsoever, provided that the differences in personal beliefs are minor. I don't mind dating someone who perhaps is a firm pretrib futurist. To me that is a minor view. But if a girl was to believe that baptism is required for salvation, that would be a deal breaker.
Conversion to a separate religion shows that they didn't really love or know God in the first place.
being agnostic, there's nothing for me to convert from. depending on the guy, i could probably fake a conversion for the sake of his family, but my SO would need to know that i wasn't sincere.
To convert for convenience, without the accompanying belief, is one of those heights of hypocrisy that humanity is awash with; and to expect another to do so is a massive sign of disrespect. I fail to see where love comes into it.
Could we change the tone of the conversation and ask, "Would I change denominations for marriage and family?" Would I accept Christ as my Savior in another church as well, but just have differing rituals, music, this type of thing?
@Pollypinks@xanga - It still holds I fear. Christian denominations can be as different as chalk and cheese. It still boils down to what the individual considering the change holds as essential, if anything.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - and them.
No, I would not convert for love. Nor would I require it of anyone I marry.
no way.
he would HAVE to be jewish, the end
No. I'm not religious and I would never convert to any kind of religion for anyone.
@flapper_femme_fatale@xanga - samesies! exactly what I was going to say haha
For instance, my parents are devout Catholics. I'm almost positive my entire family will expect a baptism for my unborn child. Letting them do a silly ritual and receiving gifts for it is much more easier than getting shit for telling them "no"
Interesting that organized religionists seem to think theirs is the only way. I thought religions were supposed to offer hope and acceptance. Seems that acceptance only applies if you believe as others do. I have seen more hatred spewed by those of organized religions than any other group. I have seen many families destroyed when, even if both partners were of the same relgious persuasion, one member wasn't as fervent as the other partner desired. Families are small governmental entities, and a theocracy is the most dangerous form of government, whether in a family or in a broader sense of governance. You can't argue with any policy, because any disagreement with policy means you are arguing with God, thus you must be discarded and punished.
Nope. My relationship with Jesus is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and is considerably more important to me than a relationship with a guy. I couldn't consider dating anyone who didn't have a real and deep relationship with Him.
I personally don't believe in converting religions to get married, unless you were not a believer to begin with. If you believe in God, and Christ, you can't not believe in him when you choose. People should accept each other's beliefs and traditions, and shouldn't expect other's to change theirs if they love them.
@Cofabulations@xanga - " I thought religions were supposed to offer hope and acceptance"
There's a big difference between loving someone and saying that you think that their beliefs are right. I can't speak for other religions, but as a Christian I'm required to love everyone, including my enemies. However, that doesn't mean that I think their beliefs are right. That also doesn't mean that I believe that there are no eternal consequences for what we believe and do here on earth. I love many people who I believe will face the judgment of God someday. I believe this is reality, and I can't just discard it because I don't like the thought of it any more than someone can discard their belief that cancer kills because they don't like the thought of it.
@Lovegrove@xanga - This is excellently spoken.
I personally would not convert. If we can't accept each other for who we are and what we believe in then it isn't Love.
I'm Jewish and that's the way I'll stay.
i'm more spiritual than religious and don't really fit into one particular religion well, though i'm most influenced by christianity and catholic social teaching as far as religions go. i don't think i ever will completely believe in all of the views of one religion, so any "conversion" would probably be fake at least to some extent. i'm not willing to do that. chances are, whoever i end up with would never expect me to, because anyone that mired in dogma is not really my cup of tea.
I would not convert and wouldn't ask anyone else too if they were active in their religion. I think it would be an insult to my self and to the others who truly appreciate and believe in their religion. I don't take spirituality lightly. (BTW I don't have a specified religion, I'm just saying.)