Hello everyone. I'm just recently re-discovering Christ and have been spending more time in the Word. I feel there's something I need to do, somewhere I need to go, but I'm not 100% sure what. I feel if I were more focused on God and His will then I would know what that something and somewhere are, but I have a hang-up on my weight and body shape.
I am a 18-year-old, 122 lb, 5'6" female. I wear a tight-lacing corset to cinch in my lower ribs to get an hourglass shape and wear it 23 hours every day, tightening it every so often. Despite it causing minor nerve damage in my right leg, I still insist on wearing it. I weigh myself each morning. Aside from a reminder of my vow of purity and a deterrent from guys trying to hit on me, I use my purity ring as a gauge of whether I'm retaining water or not.
When I'm stressed, I try distracting myself. More and more this means listening to Casting Crowns or my pastor's band, but sometimes I hit a point where distractions aren't enough and I revert into my old habits of eating when upset. This is the same habit that caused me to gain a lot of weight this year -- 16 lbs so far. This same habit was indirectly a cause of an anorexic-type eating disordered part of my life this time last year and self-harm such as cutting -- due to feeling so worthless.
I need to get over my body-image issues, my gluttony, my envy of thin people, and my ultimate dislike with myself. I need advice. And maybe some prayers, please. I can't stand myself most days.
What advice or encouragement can you give our author? Have you ever struggled with a similar weight issue? How do you go about coping with and growing past an eating disorder?
Recommend
Comments (7)
Oh my poor sister! This just breaks my heart, but I know that there are so many more carrying the very same cross as you are. We live in a culture that scourges women, often in ways that go unseen by many but nevertheless inflict tremendous suffering. What our culture forgets, however, is how beautiful each and every woman is to Jesus Christ. You mentioned spending more time with the Word; I hope you find the following verses helpful, just as a reminder of how beautiful you are to your Lord. He is not ashamed of you, does not find you revolting, ugly, or any other word you might be tempted to use against yourself or that you might hear our culture whispering in your ear. Those are lies; would God have become a man and died on a cross if He was not in love with you, if you really were what our culture would suggest? Absolutely not.
Genesis 1:26-27 (God is beautiful, isn't He? He IS Beauty itself! And YOU are created in HIS image; if you are not beautiful, then neither is He, and we know, absolutely, that this just isn't the case!)Genesis 2:22-23 (Imagine Adam's reaction when he saw Eve; remember that YOU are a woman like she was. God created you not to BE beautiful, to LOOK beautiful or to MAKE yourself beautiful; God created you beautiful by your very nature as a human woman. Beauty is literally in your DNA; you can't not be beautiful!)Isaiah 62:1-5 (God rejoices in you and makes His dwelling in you!)Psalm 45:11-16 (HE is the king that desires YOUR beauty!)
I love you very much, my beautiful sister, but that is just a spark compared to the blaze of His love for you! Whenever you are tempted to look at yourself in a negative way, take a moment and ask yourself, sincerely, "Jesus, what do *you* think of me?" or even "Jesus, am I beautiful?" He will always, always answer "Yes" because, dear sister, He IS the Truth; He cannot lie.
God bless you, and may your heart be filled with joy this Easter!
-Jacob
Kinda runs against the Christian faith, don't it?
My ED was a big part of why I thought twice about Christianity. There were a lot of incongruencies between my life and beliefs about myself and the world, and the christian faith. Opened my eyes. Now I don't believe any of it. Wish I hadn't opened my eyes, sometimes. It was easy blindly following the crowd. Best of luck to ya. EDs are terrible.
I do not believe there is one (personified/conscious) creator of everything and although I am a nihilist, I must admit that the first comment here has so much truth to it.
It doesn't matter if there is or isn't a God. To someone somewhere, in your entirety, you are the most beautiful thing in all the universe to them and the physical appearance of your body only serves to make incomparable that which already made you irreplaceable. You just have to understand that your health and wellness are so much more important to those whose opinions truly matter and if you focus on that, you will find that physical beauty naturally follows a happy and healthy body.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27
Though I don't agree that God exists, I do believe that IF He did and IF He created man and woman in the image of God, it only makes sense to believe and have absolute faith in ourselves, because if our heart is in the right place, there is nothing that can stop us from reaching our goals.
@lilcletus543@xanga - I'm conufsed. Do you not believe the message of Christ or of the ED now? Either way, your story would be a good one to hear.
Honey, who exactly are you trying to attract? Because you obviously don't need any help with your weight, but your habits are deadly. Do you want people around you because they think you are extra skinny and gorgeous, or, because you radiate intellect and joy? Trust me, should you marry, twenty or thirty years from now your conversations and attractions won't be because of some God awful corset you are cinching yourself into.
Hey baby girl. This is a late comment, and i'm sorry that i haven't seen this blog sooner. I myself am a glutton and a exercise bulimic. i'm also an emotional eater. when things are not in my control i like to eat. God has told me i was making food my idol in this way and i've been struggling with trying to overcome this poor habit.
Remember that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. It is priceless, and worth more than judgement from other people.
Its difficult to understand the grave differences between what the world says is true and what God says is true; and what God says is true is the only truth. The world will tell you that you must look like Beyonce to be attractive, but God looks at your heart.
Jesus paid a big price for your body. and your husband's definition of beauty will be defined by YOU.
ALSO, i've learned to delight in my weakness... because it makes me dependent on God.
Stay positive and use the first comment to stay focused on who God says you are. My prayer is that where ever you are God would stop you in your tracks and you would allow Him to change your view on who you are and what you need to be. Find your identity in HIM not in people, (especially those on the post sent to discourage you from the only One and True God who can save and help you get through this world) and definitly not from magazines tv etc...those people don't actually look like that themselves its a game of smoke and mirrors to present the most unreallistic standard. I've been an anorexic and Hated myself and you know what. Its a miserable life. and You. Deserve. Better. Don't let your ownself tell you otherwise. Its hard and I'm still walking it out everyday. Be encouraged. In JESUS name. AMEN