Thursday, 05 April 2012
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Obeying God Can Mean Loneliness
Tonight, after Bible study, I was hanging with the guys -- lately I've been the only female to show up at Bible studies. They started to look things up online, looking for laughs. I was watching the funny videos and other content with them until something "not fitting for God's holy people" came up. Then I realized that we didn't know what we could come across, so I tried to suggest that we do something else. When that didn't work, I came out and said that it wasn't right to keep looking. When no one listened, I left, angry. Is this righteous anger?I'm beginning to realize that when you are committed to obeying God no matter what, sometimes you end up lonely when none of your other Christian friends are obedient in the same way.
Sure, there are "personal convictions," and we shouldn't try to push them on others, but I'm not going to stay completely silent, either. I felt like I should say something tonight, so I did. We are called to be holy and to saturate our minds with the word of God, to think on noble, true, pure, and right things -- so how is that going to happen in our minds and our hearts when ungodly things are competing with them because we allow ourselves to see/hear them?
I was having a great time with my friends, but I realized that I might not be able to hang with them very often anymore if they continue to do, say, watch and listen to inappropriate things.
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, for these things are not proper for God's holy people." -Ephesians 5:2 (emphasis mine)
I could really use some words of comfort and advice right now, because I hate confrontation, and I feel all shaky even as I write this. I just know that sometimes I'll have to push through that fear if I'm going to ever do anything honorable for God.
When have you had to, despite what your friends might say, take the moral high ground? Where is the line of appropriateness when it comes to watching funny videos on the internet? What encouragement can you give those who have to make tough decisions about how they spend their time among friends?
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- From: scrittore@xanga
- Name: Lori
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- About Me: I'll admit, I'm only here whenever I need to rant about something, then I post it to get feedback on the issue.
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Comments (20)
Being a Christian gave me the confidence to go my own way regardless of what my friends did.
Doing the right thing means never having to feel lonely. Just get new friends, or a hobby.
Actually I don't see this as a "Christian" issue at all. I think that since they were all guys, they ended up being guys....not 'unholy'. I'm not condoning what they did, but I just think you're overthinking your friends a little bit.
There will be times in your life when you fall short of being 'holy' and hopefully your guy friends will be there to pick you up.
Just remember to do and say things with love. I know it can be frustrating--I've watched movies with my Christian friends where there was a lot of inappropriate scenes, gone karaoking with them and they were singing very...worldly songs, and even in our conversations sometimes, it's not very glorifying to God. I remember one time on a beach trip with my church's college group being the only girl not wearing a bikini... If I bring these things up, I'm the minority, so I understand how you feel. Don't be afraid to stand up for what's right, but always do it with love, or you'll be a clanging cymbal to them.
Good Post.
Your wisdom is encouraging and a breath of fresh air!
You do not have to feel lonely. There are millions upon millions of Christians worldwide having similar experiences, and we are one big family. Stand up for what is right, and what is pure and wait patiently for an equally yoked Christian man for you. You deserve only the best.
They were Christians and they were viewing inappropriate images or things
online. You were right. Remember, if you are going to follow Christ there always
will be a price to pay in this world and that is "okay." But this does not mean
you have to hang with them. Or you could consider them a ministry. I have many
friends like that that I only put up with them so long, then that is it for the
day. There are a lot of people that claim their Christians but are not followers
of Christ. On the other hand there are Christians that are all at different
spiritual growth levels. Some are baby Christians, some are toddlers, some are
teenagers and some are full blown adult Christians. The adult Christians are out
there, sometimes you just have to wade through all the rest to get to the adults
on the other side. how can you tell if they are adult Christians? Open your
bible in a public place and proceed to have a bible study. If they are adult
Christians they will not care, and will willingly participate. When I went on my
first date with my wife whom I met in church I did this. fell in love with her
instantly, same of her for me. When they noticed you were offended they kept
doing it? That doesn't sound like Godly behavior to me. There are a lot of
things in this world people laugh at or look at that we Christians should not
laugh at or look at. For when we do, we condone the behavior, and we shouldn't.
Find more Godly friends if you can.
God Bless,
Brother RobertLeeRE
First off I have to stress I am an ex-Christian (I was a Christian for 16 yrs) turned Atheist, I hope their are no hard feelings, I still respect others beliefs.
When I was a Christian I lost all (yes all) my old 'friends' and even in church many varied views, some watched horror movies yet I couldn't and I wouldn't.
I came to realise that I had to do what I thought 'god' was telling me to do along with the bible, each have their own walk and whilst immorality etc was a NO for all there are some grey areas such as choice in movies, music etc.
You just have to do what you believe is right and whilst it may be lonely at least you get to then meet new like-minded people. That's what you have to do, hang around with the like-minded and stand your ground (in a peaceable way) to those who are not.
:)
You are living in America - get used to being marginalized for your stone age religious beliefs.There are still places in the world where people respect these beliefs --- try IRAN or IRAQ - perhaps AFGHANISTAN.
Lori, you did the right thing. Often, to "practice what we preach" means a lonely walk. Still the right thing to do tho. Ephesians 5:2 was written for a reason. We have to temper that with living "in the world", so we cannot take the verse to such extreme that we have to live in a bubble. God has us live in this world to be a light unto others, to be an example of what to do and how to do it. So we handle tough situations like this with love. You don't leave a group in a snit, you smile and tell everyone, "see you later".. then go in peace, not hurt or in contempt. Later when one of the others asks why you left, explain. One to one. Not one against the group. Peer pressure is very strong, and you will not redirect an entire group of young people, you will just come across as a prude. When Jesus was hanging with James and John, fishing and working, you can bet discussion came up about that hot babe at the well or whatever. Human nature. Bible doesn't record those conversations or how Jesus handled them. We just have to suppose how He would handle them. And I think in a loving manner, trying to redirect, or remaining silent when lurid things were being discussed. In the early days, the other fishermen had no idea who he was. Just one of the guys.
I am proud of you for doing the right thing and standing up for your religious beliefs. We have far too few people who do that anymore, seems everyone has linguine for a spine.
And disregard the hateful and sarcastic remarks on here. The world is full of haters and boneheads, and they like to pounce on posts by sensitive people, just to be hurtful. Everyone is Superman behind a keyboard.
Find like minded people to hang out with and give you strength. Go to church and youth group meetings to help reinforce your faith. And when your friends stumble and fall, don't abandon them, help pick them up and show them a better way...you need strength and confidence to do that. You have it, or you wouldn't have left the group and then posted about this.
I think you've experienced a basic truth - being faithful does sometimes lead to loneliness or feelings of isolation. But it's one of those things where outwardly you hurt but inwardly you are consoled by the Spirit, and that's the inner joy shared by so many other obedient believers. Learn to rejoice (if you aren't already) in the joy that comes from obedience to God's Word. Nothing can take that joy away... even the loss of friends or lonely feelings. And you're not alone, of course. I and many others can relate. I'm sure Jesus felt pretty alone at times, living in holiness while his own disciples acted prideful and obtuse. God loves your sensitivity and faithfulness!
I would only suggest you remember to whom your anger should be aimed, not at your morally weak Christian friends, but at the powers of darkness at work in their minds. Frustration? Disappointment? Sadness? These are the appropriate emotions I suspect you were truly feeling when you walked away from your friends. And loneliness is certainly part of obeying the Spirit of Christ! 2nd Timothy 3: 12 points out that godliness inevitably leads to persecution.
I really appreciate how you walked out and did what the Lord was leading you to do! It is very difficult sometimes to do that. Please find my post and more at www.godspureloveforyou.com
It's very related to your post.
A Pure and Holy Life
During prayer, God convicted me to repent of some things in my life including:Giving up TV shows that aren't absolutely pure, that other people insist on watching. These shows deceive us into thinking they are mostly harmless, but they include some foul language or sexual innuendo.There are so many other productive things I could do with my time, i.e., prayer without ceasing, studying God's word, spouse and family time, writing, evangelizing, and helping the needy.
Proverbs 23:7 says, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he..." What I put into my mind is what I will become, or "garbage in, garbage out". There is some "garbage-collecting" that I need to repent of. A steady taste of rotten garbage from the compost pile of this world can make me spiritually sick!
Second Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" If we obey this verse, many things in our lives as Christians would be removed or changed! My past TV viewing has brought about imaginations, speculations, proud obstacles, arguments, reasonings, and lofty things set up against the knowledge of God, reinforcing evil thoughts and words that were part of my old, sinful nature.Everything I do/think must be brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. How can I say I am practicing a holy life, set apart unto God, if I don't consciously bring into captivity every thought to Christ?
Areas that fall into this category are many: how I dress or talk, entertainment I choose (television, movies, types of music), makeup, spending habits, and diet. You could probably think of others personally.Above all, there's only one completely pure Life, that of our triune God: the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We can only be more like Him as we yield to His indwelling presence. We cannot be holier by just following a bunch of rules. We must be made holy by being washed in the blood of Christ shed on the cross. This is justification, or being made right with God, and occurs when you accept Jesus into your heart as Lord and Savior. He frees you from the penalty of sin and gives you His eternal life.
After justification, God begins a process of sanctification, or setting us free from the power of sin. Glorification is the last of the three; God frees us from the presence of sin. Justification has already occurred for every Christian, sanctification is both done and in process, and glorification has occurred, but will be completely fulfilled after we die.
Preparatory sanctification has already occurred in each Christian's life when God chose and prepared us to trust in Him. Positional sanctification is what God did for us; He set us apart when we received Christ as Lord and Savior. Perfect sanctification is yet future or after the believer's death, when, "We shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." - 1 John 3:2.
Practical sanctification is something we are responsible for with God's help, but preparatory, positional, and perfect sanctification are only works of God done by Christ's shed blood. We can set ourselves unto God more fully as we turn from sin and unto obedience. This is practical sanctification. It is living out the reality of our positional sanctification! It can be joyful, as we allow His Holy Spirit to fill us, and He can do mighty things through a life that is fully surrendered to His indwelling! Are you longing for this kind of life?
who gets to decide what's ungodly? should you be making that judgment call for everyone?
There are plenty of appropriate things to watch, do, listen to, etc. Find those who agree to be a part of those ideals. Do not compromise.
It is not a matter of getting some prize or reward, but of truly standing up for what you believe. If 'friends' cannot respect that, then they are not real friends. If they claim to be Christian, you might ask what they think about God being right there with them ----- would He be pleased with their antics?
*solitude, not loneliness
If one must abide by verry stringent rules and codes of conduct, you're bound ot turn others off and isolate yourself. If you really practice what you preach and are not hippocritical or judgemental that alone is admirable, regardless of your religious affiliation.
I'm learning myself that how I live and what I do can't be imposed on other people, so either I have to adjust to suit them or I have to get gone.
Sometimes when your interests and lifestyles are really different its really not fair to keep asking others to censore themselves just because you feel uncomfortable around them. And sooner or later, you're no longer part of the group. Such is life, you can always attend group meetings or organizations for people with your specific interests and lifestyle, even if you have to travel a bit to get there.
Loneliness is pretty much inevitable - what you choose to do with it and express it is your choice.
Jesus walked this lonesome valley with us so in a sense you are never alone so lean on Him whe you have to.
No, but you will be lonely if you force obeying God onto other people with your standards. What was the video even about?
Trust me hun. being a Christian can sometimes land you in the loneliest place in a world that dwells largely on the immoral.
You did the right thing though, putting your foot down in faith.I draw the line alot and often times it lands me in a fight with other people and I'm sometimes called shallow.But in my opinion, fair weather friends who will only stick with you until you do something they don't think is "cool" are people that just aren't worth your time and energy.There are plenty of Christians who're more than willing to be your friend and have your back when you just don't think you can go on.If something is hurtful, anti-Christian or mocking to Jesus or God in any way, that's when you just say no.And if it just doesn't feel right, don't do it.You may lose alot of friends but in return, you get the kingdom of Heaven and in my opinion, that's worth ALL the heartache this world could ever pile on you.Keep the faith Hun!!!@Shadowrunner81@xanga - Guys can look at sexually vulgar content but not girls? Jesus is okay with guys having a different standard of sexuality and what is okay?
I agree with llamalima. Solitude and loneliness are different things. I think when you walk in light of the secular world, you might feel a little removed and a little bit of solitude.
A crux of Christianity is community. The early church was a bustling place full of life where your neighbors were your family, friends, supporters, teachers, doctors, grocers -everyone! If you are feeling lonely maybe you might consider a different community.
well i believe I agree with you on this one but the post below me about saying things in love not anger is true also, but to keep yourself from participating in things that are wrong is right, you got yourself out of a sticky situation. You put God before everything and that my friend was the correct answere. You could try talking to them on the side about stuff like this to see if you can reveal to them why it was wrong to watch the things they were watching. Never forget also you could always pray for them too (: