Wednesday, 04 April 2012
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How Do You Fill Your Voids?
This morning I read in my copy of Timothy Keller's The Reason for God:"All sins are attempts to fill voids," wrote Simone Weil. Because we cannot stand the God-shaped hole inside of us, we try stuffing it full of all sorts of things, but only God may fill it.
This struck a chord with me. It describes exactly how I've been feeling lately and I couldn't have said it better. For a long time I haven't had the words to describe how I felt, but suddenly this is it.
I'm not proud of turning away from God instead of listening to only Him, but I have definitely been trying to self-medicate. I've been trying to fix myself using the help from things of the world, not His things and His wisdom. I've been filling my voids with
- buying music that is not for worship because listening to these lyrics somehow make me feel comforted more than reading words from the Bible
- watching YouTube videos because they are works of art and some just take my mind off of my own problems for a few minutes at least
- reading YA fiction because fiction is better than reality
- watching movies because they tell a story and for two hours or so I'd like to get absorbed into someone else's struggles
- reading blog posts
- obsessively checking my Twitter feed
- reading articles I can find online
- eating snacks and junk food because it gives me something to do so I can delay whatever I'm "supposed" to be working on
- daydreaming of what life would be like once I meet "the One"
There's probably more that I'm missing, but you get the idea. I know relying solely on Him is best for me, but it's like I do everything I can to make myself feel better because I'm afraid of what it means if I really truly do what He wants me to do. He can comfort me of course, but I keep avoiding Him. Only He can fill my voids, but I fill it my own way.
How about you? Do you attempt to fill your voids your own way instead of with God?
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Comments (6)
In sinful ways.
Your writing and my reading this must be God-orchestrated because it is exactly what i needed to hear. I've been feeling bummed out and have been surfing Facebook and Xanga trying to distract myself for the past half hour when i honestly should be reading my Bible. Filling my God-sized hole with God so to speak. Thank you for sharing. Time to get off the laptop now :)
Individuals are not the only ones that fill the moments with everything but what is needed. Small groups/organizations often involve themselves in a practice called 'task avoidance'. The people in these do just about everything they can except 'the work' that was intended for that group to accomplish. It's alot like people having 'to do' lists in which each item is checked off as they are completed, but somehow the one or two items that really need to be done, somehow are never accomplished. It takes real focused effort and courage to tackle them, but when they finally are, we often feel a strong sense of relief, even joy. This effect is probably doubled or more when the effort has to do with drawing nearer to God. I think we all get caught up in divine 'task avoidance'. Thank the Lord for His great understanding and mercy!
Sometimes these things we use to fill the void can actually be used for Christian purposes, if we but allow it. Maybe we are reading stupid magazines at the store, and someone strikes up a conversation, obviously needing a little happiness that day. Or seeing a movie that's not religious, can also strike up many conversations about social justice and other societal ills. We need not look at ourselves in such a critical light. Maybe we just need to add a little extra joy and empathy to what we are already doing.
I fill the void by taking science and mathematics courses so that I can make informed decisions. The science provides the details of the physical universe we live in and explain the facts of things like the Theory of Gravity and the overwhelming research that supports it. The same is true of the Theory of Evolution. I study math to understand statistics, probability, and to learn to think and make decisions in a mathematically correct manner. For example - the idea that if you telepathically accept a Jewish zombie as your master and lord, symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood, that he will allow you to live forever by removing an evil force from you soul, that makes you do bad things, because a talking snake told a rib less women to eat fruit from a magical tree is just not good science or math no matter how good it may make you feel on Sunday,
@Krazy_monkey09@xanga - i am blessed that you shared a part of your journey with me. i'm glad this post has helped you in some way. thank you!