Thursday, 15 March 2012
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Leaving Church: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
By The Closet Calvinist
Wretched Radiobrought up a good question on today’s (3/6/2012 hour 1) show. It is a question that I’ve had to consider in a practical way over the last couple of years. The question is, if someone is in a bad church or denomination, should one stay in it and try to work to right the church or should one jump ship and instead serve in a church that is healthy.Another, who had been in the church in the past but had since moved on for other reasons, told me that I should move on and find something more biblical. One said to eat the meat but to spit out the bones. Some said to run for my life. The host of a popular radio show and blogger said to stay as long as I can to teach the kids, because they wouldn’t get the Gospel from anyone else, but to moonlight at a solid church.As one could see in my first two personal posts, I was in a bad church and ended up leaving. (and somehow started an anonymous blog using the moniker of a 16th century theologian) The role I had in the church gave me the opportunity to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ to a couple dozen youth in the years that I was in the church, and kept me in the church despite my desire to leave.
As opportunities presented themselves over the years I asked people whom I respect what they think I should do. One told me that he thought working to reform the church from the inside was the best thing to do, and to leave was one of the worst things one could do.
In the end I went with the advice to stick around but moonlight. As providence would have it, the Sunday school teaching gig ended only a few weeks later, and I didn’t even have time to moonlight more than a couple of times. When I no longer had responsibility for that ministry I was relieved to be able to fully move on.
From the personal and practical to the theoretical and likely more interesting though, Joey from Wretched Radio used an analogy of guys riding in the back of a truck that is tilting to the left and about to roll. If you are one of the riders on the right, do you jump to save your life, and allow the truck to tilt further left and increase the likelihood of rolling, or do you stay and risk going down with it?
At what point do you jump ship? What would it take for you to leave? Is there hope for these liberal churches, or are they too lost to be saved?
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- From: ClosetCalvinist
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Comments (12)
In my opinion you should pray and follow the leading of God. Be sure you're where he wants you to be, serve him there and the rest will take care of itself.
I stayed at the same church for close to 25 years, not really growing, still a slave to my addictions, no accountability....just there. One day we visited a "reformed church" because our pastor wasnt preaching that day and the man who was we didnt really care for. I had no intentions of leaving nor did I know God had planned for us to leave, I figured I'd die a member of our church. I knew after we left that new church that was where we were suppose to be,so did my husband, it was amazing and our walk has never been better. God knows... we dont, but He does. He will show you when it's time.
I think it would depend. Is there a solid core to the church? Is the Pastor on board with changing? if the pastor is not on board, do you really want to work against the church leadership? Is the problem you have with the church theological?
I attended a church that underwent a massive split. The Pastor of the church and some of the deacons decided to start preaching, that baptism was required for salvation. the associate pastor and a large section of the church was opposed to this teaching. The church split, and fired the pastor. The pastor went off with thos who believed the same as he, and the associate minister stayed and taught those who did not believe baptism was required.
If the pastor is preaching something opposed to the Bible on a key part like salvation, then you may want to jump. If it is just a matter of the church being lackluster and not willing to do anything, then staying and being a good example, could be what they need. My church had some people that did not think that kids could do much as afterall they are just kids. So I started a jr usher program and the kids help the adults take up the offering. Once the kids started doing this, it showed those adults what they could do.
i hate to say it but I think there is no clear cut answer for you. it all depends on what the issues are.
Who are "these liberal churches"? Too lost to be saved? I thought with God salvation was possible for everyone.
perfect local church
stops being faintly perfect
when you or I join
There's no "one size fits all answer" here. There are many factors to be considered: the prospects that you might be able to change things or at least reach some in a largely lost group, the strength of your own faith and the potential they might end up leading you astray, and many other smaller details. One should pray over the matter before reaching a decision.
I stayed in the same church for a decade before giving up and walking away. I was slowly have doubts about certain practices and beliefs and was also going though my own dark night of the soul. People were moving away from me and eventually, the minister refused, without first telling me his decision, to not give me communion. He refused at the rail. That was the last straw and I told him in no uncertain means.
I never recovered and considered myself now a "fellow traveller" but not a card carrying member of the Party. An agnostic in regard to any sort of faith.
My point is, that to stay one needs to be very deeply convinced of the faith because a difficult church will whittle away at it. My faith was too weak to hold, even though I gave it a good shot for a decade.
So, stay if your faith is strong enough and if you think you can do some good there. Otherwise, find somewhere else.
Well, if you stay there will be trouble, but if you leave there will be double.
Srsly tho, it's a case-by-case basis. Tough call sometimes. I do think that generally attempts should be made to fix things instead of just looking for greener grass, but in some cases you're rearranging deck furniture on the Titanic. If the leadership is rotten, though, good luck fixing that situation.
I think your situation is unique as you were in a position of leadership. And in that case, I think you need to sit down with the Pastor and express some concerns. If you can't find a middle ground, you pray about it, and if you feel like God's releasing you from that church, notify the Pastor, humbly step out of ministry, and leave quietly (hopefully with your Pastor's blessing). Nothing is worse than a pkey volunteer leaving a church kicking and screaming, or just up and leaving someone else with the burden with no warning. I think if you really feel it's time to move on, you do it with grace and humility.
This is, of course, such a difficult thing to discern; ultimately I think it does take discernment from the Spirit and conviction from the Lord regarding such matters.
Something that I have done is to serve gladly, and when points of essential contention arise, I offer the counsel of God's Word. If that Word is flat out rejected, then I believe that usually the church is under leadership that is in rebellion to God's authority and I should not continue to stay.
We cannot have fellowship with the darkness. False prophets, false teachers, and those who are in rebellion to God's word are following the ways of darkness and we should not unequally yoke ourselves together with them.
Those are just some quick thoughts to offer up. My final word of exhortation is this: "Therefore consider carefully how you listen..." (Luke 8:18).
This should be your only reasoning. Let Holy Spirit lead you in all endeavors. Stay if your relationship with God is increasing and they challeenge you spiritually to draw closer to God. If this is the case stay and grow closer to God, learn God's love and how to love others. If you are growing away from God or are on a plateau of spiritual growth so to speak, leave and go where God is going. Follow God always, go where God goes always, never following idols or words of men. This is my advice that can do only good for your spiritual growth.
This is one of those things where there is no clear cut path for all people. What do you feel God has called you to do? To be a church reformer, enabling you the God-given power to lift up and edify churches, and bring them back to God? Or to be more of the person who just serves an already good church? Pray hard about it, and seek God out. Xanga can't answer this question for you. Only offer advice. :)
It also depends on how far gone the church is. If there is still hope, I'm the type to fight for the church if I am a member. However, if there is no hope, pray harder. Ask God if it's His will for you to find new ground, and to dust your feet of the old ground, as they did in the NT of the Bible, or if he wants you to stick it out for some purpose. Maybe even to round up the people with a heart after God's, and start a new church. You never know! :)
Best wishes in whichever path God leads you to and through,~*Akarui Mitsukai*~