I haven't looked into the Biblical soundness of Mars Hill Church or Mark Driscoll but this video, although it's old, seems pretty right on with what God instructs of us (regarding dating and such -- there are a few things that I kinds wonder about but it's not important to the subject matter). It inspires me to continue to wait until a courageous, confident, and caring man comes along.
You can watch the video here
I can't help but think of the guys that have come in to and out of my life. I am grateful that I didn't enter into a courting or dating situation where I would have given my heart away to someone who was not a godly man. It's so easy for me to feel bitter that I haven't had the life experiences of some of my friends and acquaintances who have been pursued by men -- some godly, some not so much -- and have been in these 'Hmm... maybe?" types of situations and relationships. But the truth is that I wouldn't have known any better. I would have thought, "Oh, a boy! Oh, attention! Oh, romance!" and dove right into that sometimes messy and always serious situation of the giving of oneself on an emotional level.
And I am grateful that I haven't 'given away my heart' to the many guys that I've swooned over, because they aren't men yet and I'm not a woman yet -- that sounds weird but I'm talking figuratively/emotionally/spiritually. I need to remember that I am part of the equation, too; it's not just a waiting game, it's a preparing game, making the most of my singleness. I read in the book Just Do Something
-- great book, by the way -- that instead of focusing on the list of things that you want in a spouse, make a list of the things that you need to improve on to be a good spouse (paraphrased for the sake of time). I need to remember that that
is the stage of life I'm in right now: becoming who God wants me to be, at this point in my life as a single person.
And lastly I am grateful that I can finally see why
God didn't let those few 'special' friendships become anything more. I have to be honest, while I may not have given my heart away as often as some girls or as often as I may have thought I did, I have been in relationships (friendships) with guys where I was emotionally attached and there was emotional turmoil or even heartache when things didn't progress -- if you've read any of my posts from two years or so ago you'd know of one specific situation.
But at this moment, and hopefully in the future, I am rejoicing that nothing progressed past friendship because these particular guys were lacking in the characteristics that God desires of husbands. Whether it be that he isn't a one woman man or that he isn't someone I'd hope any potential sons could be like someday -- whatever the situation, it wasn't what God wanted for me and now I see it's not at all what I want. In fact, I can say with sincerity, I'd rather be single
Maybe you're not a Christian and you think this is all bogus; "why would anyone be so foolish as to set their sights so high?" you might ask. Maybe you do call yourself a Christian and you think this is all bogus because everyone sins and nobody's perfect -- true but, as Christians we are called to the standards of perfection. Maybe you're a person who has thought this way all along and you think I'm childish for finally understanding. But for me, this is eye-opening and important and gives me great food for thought. I have a lot of life evaluating to do.
If you are single, what do you intend to do with your single stage of life? Do you intend to spend it pining for someone or preparing yourself for someone? If you're already married, what can you tell single people about the stage of life they are going through now and how to best spend this time?