Recently, there’s been a trend in some conservative circles toward family-integrated churches, or churches where everyone attends service together. That’s right. There’s no Sunday school, children’s church, or youth groups. Everything is done as a family, right down to including the infants.
Proponents of family-integrated churches point to statistics that say that about 85% of young evangelicals are leaving the churches never to return. They argue that much of the reason Christian young people are mostly indistinct from their peers is because youth groups only cater to their desire to have fun instead of constructively building up children’s lives. Proponents also point out that there is no precedent for age segregation in the Bible, and claim that Sunday school comes from evolutionary psychology.
There are two
useful websites advocating family-integrated churches, and one group even
put out a movie on this topic.
I can certainly see the pluses of the movement. Too many of my youth group memories involve eating pizza and duct-taping people to the wall, with not so much spiritual edification. Many parents do seem to assume that the church will train up their children, only to be shocked when their kids leave the faith.
Overall, however, I am a critic of how the movement is usually presented, because it tends to make the family unit an object of idolatry. The fiercest integrated church advocates are by-and-large anti-dating, anti-college, and homeschool-only. In other words, every single sphere of life has to be done by the family as a whole, and hence abolishing Sunday school is just another way of removing an outsider influence. This flies in the face of what Jesus said in Matthew 10:37 ESV, “
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” In other words, the family must come in last versus worshiping God!
I also feel like Sunday school is often used as a scape-goat for the church’s problems. To claim that the entire problem with the church is the youth group and that the only alternative is to get rid of Sunday school entirely -- as the websites imply -- is a bit of a stretch. One website claims that the church never has the right to teach to a family member without his or her family present, which goes directly against Jesus’ words. Often, the churches that advocate abolishing Sunday school aren’t having many children leave the faith in college because they weren’t able to draw many families with children to their churches in the first place!
In my experience, I’ve seen that family-integrated church is lovely in theory, but in practice people start feeling as if they are doing the "right" thing, or going the "best" way and then start feeling pride and superiority which turns into legalism very quickly. I’ve known families who have driven an hour to find a church that was “family-friendly” enough. I agree that parents need to start taking more responsibility for their children’s upbringing instead of leaving it to the church to do. But claiming that family-integration is the only biblical way to run church and elevating the family unit above all else isn’t going to keep people in the church -- it’s going to drive them out!
What do you think? Have you ever attended a family-integrated church? Should churches start encouraging entire families to attend the main service? Are there mainstream family-integrated churches?
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Comments (14)
The fact that there are people who I disagree with regarding "home-school only" lifestyle involved in this does not sway me from considering it as a legitimate case.
Actually, they are right in the fact that the Bible did not set into place a "youth group". Segregating our churches by age (including "young married classes", etc) is a bad precedent for establishing the Church as a unified family. Just as statistics show that physical families that don't let their children close their bedroom doors and that eat family dinners together are stronger, likewise, I think Churches that are integrally involved with each other have a stronger united body that functions more like a family (as it should).
Every church where people are trying to do the right thing will face the temptation to become prideful about doing the right thing- that is not, in any way, a "family integrated" church problem I imagine.
One of my biggest concerns/suggestions, however, is this: for those who are going to do this, and I respect them if they do, those who enter the doors without a family surrounding them do need to be given special attention in being brought into the family with a loving and tender touch. Teens who visit and do not have believing parents need to be taken in under the wings of other parents who have teens of similar age, and single adults or young married couples who do not yet have spouses or children need to be brought into the group with other people in a seamless and caring way so that the church doesn't give off an air of superiority towards others.
That would be my biggest concern. The other issues of people taking this too far are common place with every church in everything they do (even "traditional" churches who think they're superior because of their traditions). So those issues will be something that every church has to overcome if it wants to be faithful to Christ.
I think it's important for the church to work with parents to help them better spiritually raise their kids. It isn't the church's job to spiritually teach the kids from infancy thru high school graduation; it's the parents - and the church's job to be a resource to them. Because of that, I think you can have family services, but I also think that kids, as they grow older, tend to pull away from their parents and look to other adults too. Parents need to be strategic at who pours in to their kids - and this is where I think youth leaders/pastors can come into play. I think Sunday School teachers fit this category too. They're other leaders who can pour into your kids lives who are another voice echoing what their parents are teaching them. So, I don't think abolishing age-based groups is the way to go, but I think that people have the right idea focusing on the family and trying to strengthen parents to spiritually build up their kids.
I'd turn tail and run as fast as my legs can carry me if my church did this.
I think integrated to a degree is good. But until the child is around 5 or six they are not going to get much out of an adult service and will probably disrupt it out of sheer boredom. Once they are old enough to have an attention span and out of that tantrum stage bring them into the fold of worship with parental guidance but let that be up to the parents and not the church. Parents know what is better for the child spiritually then some church elder. Be flexible with the rules. This way parents with young babies can get a break if they are seeking the Lord by dropping them off at Sunday School. Nothing disrupts service more then a bunch of loud screaming babies.
Religious education does not adequately address the transition from childhood to adulthood.
This transition is marked by the development of the human faculty of reason.
I believe that young people leave the church because of the great gap between what they are taught as children and the real world they become aware of as they close in on adulthood.
"What do you think? Have you ever attended a family-integrated church? Should churches start encouraging entire families to attend the main service? Are there mainstream family-integrated churches?"
I think this is a superb idea. I've been attending a family-integrated church my entire life, ever since I was born. Since the whole family belongs to God, shouldn't the whole family worship God together? After all it is God that joins a family; let us not separate!
And yes, there is a mainstream family-integrated church; it's called the Catholic Church and it's been family-integrated since it started two-thousand years ago! I can't imagine a Sunday Mass without hearing the occasional baby's cry or some adorable little girl asking her daddy what is happening.
I always attended Sunday service with my parents and had Sunday School afterwards, when service was over; as a youth I had youth fellowship meetings on Saturday afternoons.
I think youth groups have a place because teens are going through a period in life where they're trying to figure out their identity and they have a lot of questions and face certain challenges that can be better addressed within the youth fellowship. For instance, we had BGR talks (boy-girl relationship) and that helped me to make wise decisions about boys, dating & sex. Yes, parents do have a responsibility to teach their kids these things, but some kids don't have Christian parents, or find it difficult to talk to their parents about heart stuff, so if they're in youth fellowship they have other adults to approach for advice and counsel.
I would say that my years in youth fellowship played a great part in shaping who I am today, so I wouldn't do without it. I think it's what you do with or in the youth fellowship that makes a difference, though. If it's run like a club that is just all about gathering to do activities together, then obviously it's not going to be very helpful.
Family integrated communities of faith are wise IMO. I wrote a paper on this last semester for a class. Too often our compartmentalized church patterns are abusive instead of edifying. Not every church is to look the same but they should all be edifying, not abusive. I've rarely seen a church with a youth group that wasn't overly compartmentalized or socially disconnected when it came to youth and elder relationships.
Problem with your Article is that Conservative Christians are not Evanglicals. Evanglicals are Moderate Christians.
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - The author of The Article said Churches are not Having Sunday School anymore. People usally learn more in Sunday School than in Service.
@Christianonly - I suppose this would be a short-coming of many services, then. The Mass, for example, is supposed to be a time not only of praise, worship and reverence of God, but of edification and education. Though I don't think many churches would drop Sunday School, even if such a strange thing were to happen, a great deal could be taught through the Mass as well. I for one learned way, way more attending Mass every Sunday growing up than I ever learned at Sunday School!
As a parent of 4 small children I am not sure how much I like it. We have attended both types of church. 1st I like how when the children are at children'c church I can understand more what is being said and not focusing on keeping my children still. But on the other hand I like that it teaches that we are a whole family and we worship together and it also teaches them respect at the same time. I am still out on this one. But we are still experiencing different churches we do not have a set religion yet.
Also, FYI for those people, Jesus spoke at times just to children (sunday school) and at times just to adults (sunday morning service with just adults!) :) :)
But, i get where they are going.. its important to go where God calls you .. if this is the type of church then GO. :)