Saturday, 25 February 2012

  • The Questions I Ask

    By Amy at Make Me a Mary

    I’m always asking God these questions I usually don’t get answers to.

    What are You thinking?

    Why did You do that?

    What are You up to?

    Are You SURE, Lord???

    I know He really doesn’t need my help running the universe, but sometimes asking just makes me feel better. I guess I’m expressive that way.

    But there’s one question I’ve asked for almost three years that I long for an answer to. I’ve begged, pleaded, cried, and thrown countless fits expecting Him to answer me.

    Why did you let him leave that way?  

    I wish it had been some less shameful way, some more dignified way, some way that wouldn’t have cast me in a suspicious light or put me in danger. I would rather it be something that wouldn’t cause my children to feel abandoned, something that wouldn’t cause me to feel responsible for the rest of my life.

    I wish it had been almost anything besides what it was.

    I ask this question, but He usually just tells me it’s none of my business.

    Until the other night. I got my answer through a conversation with a friend. Hers was a totally different situation, but she asked God the same exact question. When she told me the answer He gave her, I instantly knew it was my answer, too.

    I could’ve taught these lessons in some other way, but not to you.

    That really doesn’t surprise me at all now that I think about it. I’m quite resistant when it comes to learning new things. I suppose if it had happened in any other less painful way, I wouldn’t have learned that He really is all I need. But I’m so glad I know that now. May I never forget.

    And on and on He weaves, my tapestry growing more beautiful each day.

Comments (2)

  • Shadowrunner81@xanga
  • aleisternacht@xanga

    Perhaps the silence should be telling you something.....

    Many people would say you and I are polar opposites however, I say we are seeking the same thing.....acceptance and reinforcement from our respective deities. I view silent interludes as a way to take stock in my life. This silence allows me to refocus and see "how I am performing". Afterall, it is our individual performance and fruit produced that really matters.

    I serve Satan and you serve God. We are not so different and our search for the right path for us as individuals is the real objective.

    Good post and good luck with your search.

    Aleister Nacht

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  • makemeamary
    • From: makemeamary
    • Name: makemeamary
    • About Me: The title of this website was born out of a prayer I began to pray when I became widowed: "Lord, please help me love you more". Over time, I grew to deeply admire Mary Magdalene for the way she loved her Saviour and was completely sold out to Him, and my original prayer evolved into "Lord, make me a Mary." I long to be at the feet of Jesus, too, learning from Him and taking Him in. I also aspire to be like Mary the mother of Jesus, because she exemplifies a total trust in God and in His sovereign plan, even in the midst of frightening circumstances.
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