Saturday, 25 February 2012
By Amy at Make Me a Mary
I’m always asking God these questions I usually don’t get answers to.
What are You thinking?
Why did You do that?
What are You up to?
Are You SURE, Lord???
I know He really doesn’t need my help running the universe, but sometimes asking just makes me feel better. I guess I’m expressive that way.
But there’s one question I’ve asked for almost three years that I long for an answer to. I’ve begged, pleaded, cried, and thrown countless fits expecting Him to answer me.
Why did you let him leave that way?
I wish it had been some less shameful way, some more dignified way, some way that wouldn’t have cast me in a suspicious light or put me in danger. I would rather it be something that wouldn’t cause my children to feel abandoned, something that wouldn’t cause me to feel responsible for the rest of my life.
I wish it had been almost anything besides what it was.
I ask this question, but He usually just tells me it’s none of my business.
Until the other night. I got my answer through a conversation with a friend. Hers was a totally different situation, but she asked God the same exact question. When she told me the answer He gave her, I instantly knew it was my answer, too.
I could’ve taught these lessons in some other way, but not to you.
That really doesn’t surprise me at all now that I think about it. I’m quite resistant when it comes to learning new things. I suppose if it had happened in any other less painful way, I wouldn’t have learned that He really is all I need. But I’m so glad I know that now. May I never forget.
And on and on He weaves, my tapestry growing more beautiful each day.