Tuesday, 21 February 2012
By Bonnie at Faith Barista
Here in California, there is an early sign of spring’s arrival.
I look out the kitchen window. Where the branches once stood bare, cherry blossoms have bloomed in clusters.
But the rain fell during the night and they swept many of those petals to lie wet on the ground.
I love how they carpet the driveway with pale pink dots.
I’m reminded that God displays beauty through movement. He splurges his creativity on things that are delicate. Even if they last only for a moment.
I thought I was most vulnerable during times of hurt and loss. But, I’m learning that choosing joy is just as soul baring.
Joy is vulnerable because it is organic, always pointing us to movement, to risk.
Joy moves us out of isolation. It hopes and dares. Joy is willing to take a journey where God is the one steering the who, what, when and how. We may not be sure of ourselves, but that is a beautiful sign we are entering where we are most exposed. “Take me as I am. I’m trusting all of myself to you.”
Happiness, on the other hand, is something we can control. But, we become vulnerable to what others say about us: our past, our critics, and even ourselves.
Are we good enough?
Did we do enough?
Can I continue being and doing enough?
Happiness in this world is earned.
So, I feel awkward, taking joy in as if I earned it, knowing I haven’t. I smile anyways. Because deep inside, I am a little girl adopted by a Father who has waited a lifetime to shower me with grace.
With God, joy is total grace. He says to me –
You are enough.
You don’t need to do or be anything more.
You are loved, just as you are.
I’ll keep whispering this to you over and over again,
Like gentle spring rain on life-giving soil.Tell Me Again
Sometimes, when I can’t fall asleep, I don’t even know why.
In those moments of feeling anxious about sleep slipping away, I whisper in the dark to Jesus.
Tell me again, Jesus.
Tell me there’s nothing to worry about.
Tell me that you love me.
And everything will be alright.
It’s one of the most beautiful gifts Jesus offers to us: vulnerability.
I’m learning our most vulnerable moments — when we’re holding ourselves back — is soil rich for intimacy with God. It’s where we are raw and our hearts are organic. Soft.
Don’t be afraid. Even if your steps feel uncertain.
It’s really the perfect indicator that joy is right behind that door of vulnerability.
Will I open myself to joy?
Will I choose to say no to somethings and say yes to others?
Will I dare to keep taking in joy, even if you don’t know the way ahead — and savor it like watching the wind cast a shower of blossoms to the ground?
Tell me again that you love me, Jesus.
I’ll dare to dream again.
Even if it’s for a moment.
I know you’ll be with me there. Amen.
“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49:16
How is God calling you to be more vulnerable with Him?