I threw horrible fits when I was little, and I still remember it like it was yesterday ... lying underneath my dad's piano crying and kicking and screaming. So I guess I've battled a hot temper since the very beginning.
I'm not quite as bad as I used to be, although
I still have my moments. I cringe when I think about all those times when I let my temper get the best of me. My problem is that I spend way too much time in the flesh.
And in the flesh I can't tolerate stress. In the flesh, everything irritates me. I react rashly and lash out with my tongue and oh, how the words can bite. In the flesh, I have no way to handle the pressure as it builds and no weapons with which to battle the impending explosion.
In the flesh, I get angry and I sin. And what a miserable life this is when we foolishly rely on our own flesh to keep ourselves behaving.
But then there's Jesus. And He left us with the precious gift of His Holy Spirit, our only hope of escape from this walking pile of skin and bones and idle words and temper tantrums. I am worthy and whole and effective, all for no other reason than because He dwells within me.
How He can take up residence with the likes of me, I'll never know. But the fact that He does makes me want to do better. It makes me want to renew my mind, to run after Him, to repent of my wayward impulses, to love with His heart.
It makes me desperate
to walk in the Spirit.
Because it's only by His Spirit that I can love the unlovable. Only in Him can I
control my tongue. Only through Him do I pause and take a deep breath before the storm hits. He reminds me that an outburst won't be worth it, and only by His grace can I proceed with discernment instead of reacting on emotion.
In the Spirit, I can get angry and sin not.
Lashing out in a fit of anger is never worth the hurt it causes, but I know He's my only hope for doing better. May we abandon our flesh and the sin that goes with it in pursuit of a life lived with a heart like His.
By Amy at Make Me a Mary
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Comments (3)
I have a hot temper too. But I'm training myself to care about others more than I care about trashing the universe with my anger. Grace seems to follow the efforts we make that are based on biblical teachings.
I'm guessing that everyone has their moments of lack of self-control...young, middle-aged and old alike. I remember that there was a saying as I grew up, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me". That saying is so untrue. Words (and sticks and stones) have power and can permanently injure and maim a psyche. Brute force can change a life forever.
I am a nurse. When in nursing school, my school had a psychologist come and speak to us for an entire year. One of the things she said impacted the rest of my life. She said that we do not have to repeat our past and we cannot change. As adults, we are the masters of our ship and can control where our lives go. I vowed to re-write and renew my life at that moment. It was a light bulb moment. It was a hopeful moment.
For you see, I have also been on the receiving end of ppl's anger. I grew up in a household with my hot-headed father. I will NEVER forget his uncontrolled anger and rage for some insignificant things that I did..watching an old-time movie in the afternoon, for instance. Or, objecting to leaving my friends when he told us that we were moving...again... I have experienced personally the damage that uncontrolled rage does to a body and a psyche. I CHOSE not to live that nightmare again through my kids or my spouse or friends whom I treasure. And, I was successful. I never hit nor verbally abused my daughter. She is a 26 y/o now and thinks we are the best parents, ever. I re-wrote my life script and stopped the cycle of abuse. She is living proof of what happens when uncontrolled anger does not enter a life. I am living proof of what happens when uncontrolled anger ruled my early life. The difference gives me great hope.
Good luck to you!!
Christy
PS My father knew his Bible forward and back and could quote any verse to you. His Bible is marked up and worn from all of his reading and notations. The irony? He read his Bible, went to church, ppl thought he was wonderful, and he appeared to be a loving Christian man to others but at home, he was so very different. Years later when I was 50 years old and he was in his mid 70s, I gently confronted him about his anger and physical abuse. He ran from the room saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". He knew what he did was very wrong. Too bad he hadn't thought about that at the time his horrendous abuse of me (I was his oldest) was going on. I forgave him but can never forget...He died a horrible death of suffocation in a condition called pulmonary fibrosis. I pray he is in heaven.
No one can avoid sin because it's living in our flesh.