Saturday, 10 September 2011
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More Thoughts on Depression and Sin
After reading the pamphlet I received on depression (see summary here) that says that depression is ultimately the result of sinful responses, I immediately flipped back to the front page of the pamphlet to see who authored it. I knew it; it was a man. I don't mean to be sexist, but no woman would ever write the things this pamphlet said. All women know that we lose control over our emotions from time to time.But is that a SIN?
For a few days, I decided to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. In fact, it sounded pretty good to me, oddly enough, because that meant that it was in my control to change those sinful responses and therefore pull myself out of this postpartum depression, which is exactly what I want. Even though the thought of depression being the result of sin rubbed me the wrong way, I decided to live as if it were true.
And you know what? I couldn't believe the difference it made in my life. I felt like a new person. I have been spending more time in scripture and in prayer than I ever have before. I felt peace and joy like never before. My intrusive thoughts vanished overnight, I could explode with laughter with my kids once again, and I could love my husband like we were newlyweds again. It was incredible!
No, really. It was in-credible, as in, not credible. I woke up this past Tuesday morning feeling as if all of the past few weeks of peace and joy had been sucked out of me like a vacuum. I could barely move. And I could not stop crying. I immediately began begging God to take it all away, that I didn't want to go back to that place of torture again, but I quickly realized that perhaps that was not the best way to pray. Jesus himself begged God to take the pain away and God refused! But in the end, Jesus said, "Not my will, but Yours be done." I guess you could say that I spiritually spent the day flat on my face before God begging Him to align my will with His.
Despite clinging to the feet of God, the intrusive thoughts would not stop. When I accidentally bumped Becca's head after her bath (she wasn't hurt, she just let out an annoyed grunt), I collapsed on the ground and cradled her in my arms, sobbing. In 1/10 of a second, the intrusive thoughts broke through: "I am a horrible mother. I don't deserve my children. They should take my children away from me. They'd be better off without me anyway. I just want to die."
Now, last time I checked, this is NOT the normal response to something that happened by accident and didn't even hurt anyone. So then what the heck was happening to me?! I was doing everything right! Every moment throughout that day I tried to figure out what sin was causing this horrific relapse.
And you know what? I don't think there was one. I have no explanation other than that sin had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is my own personal cross to bear. Jesus had no sin in him and yet he suffered more than any other human suffering combined. It's nonsense to believe that suffering is always caused by sin.
And I'm not the only one to think so. I picked up a book by Matthew S. Stanford called Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness. In his final thoughts on depression (pp. 88-89), he explains that true believers CAN struggle with depression and it is not a sin! Depression is a result of a damaged mind and body inherited from the Fall into sin, not necessarily the result of personal sin. Of course, he asserts that it is important to remember that depression is NOT an excuse for sinful behavior, which I personally think a lot of people (myself included) are guilty of. But I can, with confidence, say that I don't believe this was the case this past week.
So I want to leave you with these lines... "Spiritual healing and wholeness come only through an understanding of who we are in Christ.... But faith does not correct the physical scars of the fall."
I can't pray away the gray. (Sorry, lame joke.) But seriously, depression, in itself, is NOT a sin.
I am not my depression. And God has no problem making that distinction, even when I do.
Do you think depression is a sin? Do you think it is caused by sin? Why or why not?
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- From: mevlink@xanga
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Comments (3)
AMEN to this. Have you read the book "Losing God"? It's about one man's battle with depression and his "search" for "freedom". It, in my opinion, is a well-written book on the topic and really describes depression (and the many thoughts that accompany it) well.
Here's the "description" from Amazon:
"It was the perfect irony. To lose God at a missions conference. What's worse, Matt Rogers will tell you, is that it all felt like fate. Years later, even after Matt's depression subsided, the feeling of being forgotten had not left him. So he knew he had to write it down. Recounting his own experience with depression, Matt Rogers explores the question of how, in a world of suffering, we can call God good. This challenging question can manifest itself as a conspiracy of doubt, so that our emotions and our intellect come under attack. Without appealing to easy answers, Rogers offers understanding and a ray of hope for those who suffer from depression, encouraging them never to give up."
Much depression is physiological and must be treated in whatever way works best for the individual, sometimes requiring much trial and error. This is not a sin!
Depression can also be caused by unresolved sin or by unrealized divine potential. If so, we can wallow in it or we can choose to seek a loving Father's help in repenting and returning to Him or in preparing for, seeking, and following His guidance on how to set aside the distractions that keep us from becoming who He sent us here to be.
Sometimes the struggle is itself depressing, but He will always offer comfort and will give us peace if we let Him.
It's amazing to me that there are so many people out there that have never experienced depression themselves or of a close loved one, have little training on the subject can suddenly become "Experts" on the subject just because they can toss a few seemingly well found scriptures at it. Smacks of carelessness & money grubbing! I would not want to be in their shoes on Judgement day!
I have been surrounded with it all my life. My mom, sister, husband, daughter- not to mention a few close friends.
This is what I know- Your Body, Mind and Soul are connected. When one gets hit- it all gets hit.
Depression can be triggered by events occurring in anyone of those areas. Pin pointing it, in order to treat it is not easy. Anyone who says otherwise is a lair and has no clue what they are talking about!
Getting a well trained Doctor is the 1st step in the right direction but often that can be difficult.
To ask if it is sin based, is as good as asking if your cold last week was due to sin.
Is it because that it is so hard to deal with that it is so easy to label it "Sin Based?" Yes, just put the blame of this nightmare back on the person who has it- as if they don't have enough on their plate already!!! Where is the compassion of Christ in that?
Spiritually weak and Scripturally ignorant people ask such questions!
They are Spiritually weak because they think God always cruel. Matthew 18:14.
They are Scriptrually ignorant because they do not take into account passages like John chapter 9, Romans 8:2-4, Or Isaiah 53:4-6.