Friday, 17 June 2011
-
Are We Missing Out?
By J
I think rules are one of the biggest deterrents of religion. The Bible is full of things God commands us to not do. Some seem pretty fair and expected: no murdering, no stealing, no committing adultery. Everyone’s on board with those. But then there’s the other rules: no sex until marriage, no crazy drugs or alcohol, etc. These rules seem stuffy and old-fashioned. It’s the year 2011, and lots of people just want to do away with these restrictions.I might be in the minority, but I quite like rules. Not empty vain ones like “no wearing white after Labor Day” (what’s up with that?). I’m talking about those rules which help us and guide us by pointing out what’s the wise choice to make, and these are the kinds of rules God gives us. Sex feels good, and it just doesn’t seem fair to wait when you’ve got someone you love right now, or are young and carefree. But then I think about all of the things in the world that would be completely changed if people only had sex with the person they married. STDs wouldn’t be an issue if you’re first sexual partner was your one and only for life. Prostitution and its associated crime wouldn’t exist. No accidental pregnancies by single teenagers who bring their kids into horrible situations. No drugs and alcohol would mean none of the terrible experiences of addiction and the life destroying effects it has. No accidents caused by drunk drivers. No drug crimes and probably less poverty.
You could argue the logistics of any of these scenarios, especially how unrealistic they are. But what I’m describing here is the world God intended for us when he declared these restrictions on our lives. He didn’t create rules to make life less fun. He created rules to shield us from the terrible situations that arise when we do whatever we want, even though one individual’s actions don’t seem so harmful. What I described were extremes that do not happen to everyone, but they DO happen. These extremes illustrate God’s plan for our lives.
Adam and Eve though they were missing out. They had Paradise all around them, but that treacherous though about the fruit did them in: “Is God holding something back from us? Are we missing out?” They broke that rule, the rule that seemed so restrictive, and instead enslaved themselves even further by bringing in sin, pain, and death.
Since I became a Christian, a lot of my old friends like to tell me my life is limited because I don’t drink, I’m waiting until marriage for sex, and I dress modestly. It’s funny because I know that these very limitations are what have truly set me free. No longer am I a slave to lust that forced me to seek out men for pleasure. No longer do I worry about sexual diseases or pregnancy. No longer do I Have to face regrets of drunken behavior. No longer am I making it easy for men to look at my body, and have perverse thought about it. I’m not a slave to sin, like many people unknowingly are.
I don’t want to be like Adam and eve and wonder what lies beyond God’s rules. I’ve lived it, and I’m no longer willing to trade that one fruit when I have a whole garden of privileges from God. God’s knowledge about what’s necessary for my purity and safety is beyond my comprehension. Obedience isn’t blind and conforming; it’s accepting that God lovingly shared guidelines and warnings with us to spare us from all the pain our own actions cause. His rules aren’t leashes keeping us from fun, they are the foundation of life and forms of His love.
Have you ever felt restricted by any of God’s rules? How have you reacted to that feeling?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (10)
I'm sorry but you don't need a piece of paper to say that you're married just so you can have sex. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. Just because there is no ring on my finger means I'm not going to have sex with the man I love, the man I will spend the rest of my life with. I may not agree with sleeping around, but sex in a committed relationship is totally different. My boyfriend and I live together, have pets together and basically act as if we are married. And I don't think God is going to judge me because we simply haven't decided to get a ring, a priest and have a wedding ceremony yet. It'll happen, most likely sooner than later, but I'm in no rush because I already know who I'm going to be with in the end.
There's nothing wrong with not drinking, saving your virginity or dressing moderately. Quite the feat in today's age.
IF YOU CHOOSE TO. If you are hating the decisions forced upon you by the bible, if you want to explore YOUR LIFE, I say do it.
Such rules are why my faith in the church disappeared long ago. So I can be a great person but jesus will damn me if I have sex?
No. I don't think so.
*shrug* if you need those kinds of restrictions to keep yourself in line, go for it. but i don't. i have sex outside of marriage, with zero regrets. i get drunk, again with zero regrets. your religion did not, and would not, help me be a better person.
here's the problem with your logic: your god cares about us enough to create rules in order to keep us out of danger... but he has no problem condemning us to Hell (arguably the ultimate danger) for a lack of faith. it seems like if your god really cared about all of us, he'd do more to prove his existence and less to make our lives miserable.
Abstinence until marriage I totally feel you on. I had premarital sex and I wish I hadn't. Luckily my ex was naturally sterile and we were each other's firsts so we had no issues, but I do realize it could have been different.
As far as so-called "modest dress" I don't recall any Biblical precedent for that. That's just a result of westernized legalism (along with the prohibition of alcohol, dancing, etc.). Now, I don't think you should be flashing your private parts all over the place; jus so long as that's covered up you're fine. But I do understand, being male, the temptation to look at someone of the opposite sex lustfully. In that light, if you feel convicted to cover up more, I respect that. Just don't go judging the piety of another if they don't feel the same.
What you are promoting here is legalism. Christianity isn't so much abou rules as it is about a relationship with Jesus Christ, and I fully believe legalism just sets people up to fall away (it happened with me at one point, and I've seen it happen with others, and I can even name such an example on the Xanga network).
Hmm, those were interesting responses. I understand the feeling of being confined by rules, but as I've grown up and become more sure of my faith, I understand more the reason we have these "rules." The benefits of waiting until marriage are knowing 100% that this one person is the only person with whom you've had sex and reflects more accurately the marriage of us to God. I think the more one talks about Christianity and delves more deeply into its meaning the more likely the idea of being confined fades away. Being with other people who are thinking about the same things has helped me a lot. Sometimes I want to "break the rules" still, but keeping Christianity close to my heart has helped in those times.
@StatelessPilot -
"What you are promoting here is legalism.
Christianity isn't so much abou rules as it is about a relationship with
Jesus Christ, and I fully believe legalism just sets people up to fall
away (it happened with me at one point, and I've seen it happen with
others, and I can even name such an example on the Xanga network)."
I think that as someone who has seen the destruction of legalism, as well as many other Christians have, you just saw the rules part of this post and assumed that. I think the OP is going for something much different here. I'd go as far as saying that this post is at the opposite end of legalism. Legalism to me is very much about being more of a drill sergeant about rules for Christian living than seeing the beauty and love of obeying God. The OP never condemned people for drinking or dressing whichever way (although saying that the Bible says nothing about modesty is untrue). She simply seems to have struggled with these things before. The problem with things like "I drink, but only a little" is that not everyone can draw the line. It's better to just keep away from it completely if that's the issue. Personally, I too see more damage than good from alcohol, in moderation or not, so that's a decision I've also made as part of my faith.
You're right, Christianity is a relationship with Christ. But you can't just pray and go to church and call it a day. The way we obey and follow God says a lot about our love and relationship as well, and I feel like that post was just illustrating the ways in which God's rules, which are typically seen as legalism, actually have a so much of God's love behind them. I think rules only get out of hand when the congregation or pastor is sure to condemn you or claim you're going to hell because of something that actually has no Biblical base. Even if it does, as men, we cannot condemn anyone. Christ came for those who needed grace and we all fall short. But that doesn't mean that when a person chooses to follow some guidelines that he/she is a legalist.
I am as anti- legalism as anyone on Revelife; but I do not see you promoting legalism here! I completely agree with Kiwi@ireallylikefood's comment. "Christ came for those who needed grace and we all fall short. But that doesn't mean that when a person chooses to follow some guidelines that he/she is a legalist."
Rules = Law, which shows us God's judgment on the sinfulness of man/woman.
Relationship with Christ = Gospel, which shows us God's mercy and grace upon us despite our failure to follow the rules.
These 'rules' a/k/a the law, are necessary to show us why we need a savior, and then guide us to walk in the way God would have us walk. Yet, when we fail to walk rightly, then God is still there to forgive the contrite and repentent.
Some today want to eliminate the rules because they don't like the word "sin". They want freedom. But they are going towards freedom from Christ, not freedom in Christ. They will achieve their wish. They will not like the ultimate result.
I think that thinking about them as "rules," even rules for our benefit, gets the whole idea wrong. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey my commands." Our obedience as Christians has nothing to do with God smiting us if we get it wrong--we are saved by grace! And we cannot merit that grace by being good enough! No, our obedience is supposed to be an expression of our love for Jesus. If you love Jesus, show him you love him by following the "rules"; if you don't love Jesus, why would you follow Jesus' rules?
@SexyGamerGirl@xanga - I don't think you need a piece of paper from the government to be married. People got married for millennia without governments being involved. I don't think you necessarily need the ring or priest or full ceremony either, in order to establish a spiritual marriage. But I do think there is a difference between a mere commitment to be monogamous and a covenant with God. In a Christian marriage, it's not just a promise between the bride and the groom, but there's a third player.
I think the most important parts of a wedding are the vows and the prayer. I think those are the core of what a wedding is. Everything else is optional or tangental--the whole point of the ceremony or the priest is to have witnesses to the vows, for example. I think someone could do an at-home "handfasting" with a lone friend to witness and be as fully married in the eyes of God as anyone who did a twenty-thousand-dollar wedding.
I once read (I couldn't tell you where) that rules only make sense with relationship. I tend to think it's as simple as that.
Christians okay with rules, know grace beyond (ex. they don't feel like God is pointing a heavy finger every time they sin, because he loves them).
Christians who hate rules, see them as arbitrary because love supersedes rules.
Both are valid in their own right, though I too am leery of anyone who promotes rules because alot of Christians promote rules over relationship and believe that if you aren't doing Christianity their way, following their rules which they perceive as biblical then they question your faith, and that is not fair.