Monday, 23 May 2011
Let's be honest: we can't sleep on it. It doesn't happen overnight to forgive somebody who had wronged us. I posted a blog about the death penalty, and there are people who believe that those murderers, rapists and molesters do not deserve a second chance and should die.
I know I sound sympathetic towards them when I say that I believe that the death penalty should be abolished, not only because it also executes the innocent but because those criminals deserve a chance to change and be helped to change. I know I don't exactly know what it's like to have someone really close to me die, be raped or be molested -- and I hope I never will. But I have watched a lot of documentaries about people who commit murder, and the one thing they have in common is that they were all bullied and abused somehow by other people in their lives and some by their parents -- the very people who were suppose to protect them. And by hurting someone else, they feel empowered, and they feel like they are avenging themselves for all the times they had been bullied. Basically, they are driven to do them.
Of course, when those criminals get out, people just see them as criminals. It's harder for them to get a job that way. So they end up robbing and come back to jail and more people think that they can't change.
I guess that therapy doesn't work on criminals because the therapists are just strangers to them; they think they're doing it for the money. They just closed their hearts to anyone because their friends and families had closed theirs to them.
If any of those crimes had happen to me -- except robbing, because it already happened to me -- I honestly don't know if I can see any humanity in his/her eyes if I ever get the chance to see him/her again or be able to forgive. But time is a great healer, so maybe I could.
I have learned in the past that the ones closest to you are the ones who can hurt you the most. And it has been really taking a long time to forgive and forget.
Do you have to forget to forgive? If you forgive and forget, do you not learn from the mistake? Why do you think it's so hard to forgive people?