Friday, 08 April 2011

• Living Without Existence

  My boyfriend and I have found another show we enjoyed watching recently, Mentalist. That show is full of a lot of different things but at the same time, it can be rather predictable. We could solve the case long before the show could finish and figure out the answer. Maybe it is from plenty of practice we have seen from other shows relating or the show was too obvious.

  Whatever the case is, we still enjoy watching it. 

  One thing about the show has struck a nerve in me. Last night, when Patrick Jane made the statement there is no life after death, Van Pelt attacked him with her opinion that there has to be hope for life after death. Because imagine, what about his wife and daughter that passed away. How if they are right besides him, screaming for him to hear them but he couldn't, because he refused to believe there is any existence in afterward.

  Then it brought me into having a conversation with my boyfriend about God. How it is sad to imagine people kept on living after the loss of someone in their lives, believing they no longer exist except in memories. Joshua began to explain his fear of the possibility that there is no God and we do ease to non-exist, it made me think that maybe after all, God may be only a part of our imaginations.

  But mind you, I keep an open mind about it. 

  I have grown to believe in God and will continue in doing so. But however, it does not prevent me from thinking of the possibilities. 

  This morning I woke up with that conversation stuck in my head. How do we really exist? What made us keep going if there is no point of thereafter? How can one person to find purpose when they knew this is the only life to live? Isn't it depressing to think that is all we have, that is all we are? This is it, live life to the fullest, what is the point? Sure okay, I can get that it fulfills ourselves to living the day to the fullest, but where the accomplishment coming from?

  I hate to think that if my children died before it was my time, that I would never see them again. I hate to imagine those people I have come to know in my lifetime, are no longer any part of my life and still stands to that point when we die. 

  Heaven does sounds like a better place to imagine existing after death. Because we get to live again and continue on seeing our loved ones. 

  Without trying to get into deeper discussion of Bible to prove Heaven and God and from atheists, it does make me wonder about atheists beliefs. How is it they found the willpower to live with the knowledge or belief that "this is it, nothing more"? 

  And I will have to say, I give atheists credit. They probably actually found a lot to live for, putting it all into this world rather than to think about thereafter. 

  One thing I remember clearly when I started putting faith in God, I chose to be wrong about His existence and wasted my life on something that never mattered than to chose in believing He didn't and face the wrath after death. Because, Heaven does sounds like a perfect place to settle in. To see families again? Yea. To see friends again? Great. To have all the things that you loved continue in Heaven, wow. 

  Like my dog who grew up with me from the time I was three months old for 15 years. It would be great to see him again. My classmate who died when we were 16 from heart failure, it is nice to think that even her body remains here on earth that turned into nothingness but her spirit is still alive and I will see her again. That is a wonderful thought to have. 

  Rather to think, they no longer exist. No longer worth knowing we will see each other again.

  I also wonder, why do people chose to believe this is the only life we have? And how is it that they find any purpose to live? Why not believe in something better and greater than ourselves? 

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