Wednesday, 30 March 2011

• The Sex Addict vs. The Rapist: Whom Do We Forgive?

  In Part One and Part Two of this series I’ve argued that all human beings are co-conspirators in the terrible evil that pervades our world. Father Christian de Cherge, a victim of radical, Islamic terror in 1993 wrote: “I have lived long enough, to know that I share in the evil which seems, alas, to prevail in the world, and even in that which would strike me blindly” (italics are my own).

  Terrorists murdered Father Christian, along with six other monks of the Tibhirine Monastery, in 1996.

  I’ve made a simple case that we should not judge others before we judge ourselves. In Matthew 7:3 Jesus says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

  However, in Part Three, I want to push the argument one step further. I think too often we preserve our non-judgmentalism for those whose sins seemingly hurt themselves and not others. We sympathize with the drug user over the drug dealer, the cutter over the abuser, the depressed over the outraged, the manipulated over the convicted—even the sex addict over the rapist.

  We look at those who are victims of their self-deprecation and forgive them their sins; we feel good about ourselves that we would not judge someone for having a distorted view of his self-worth. In practice, we feel sorry for the oppressed and loathe the oppressor.

  Man was not created for sin—in any of its forms. Man was created in the very image of God; man was created for glory—and yet, as St. Paul writes “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Something has gone wrong; human kind is not what it should be. When we look at the famous sinners in our midst, we look at—though it’s hard to acknowledge—victims of an irreparable legacy of human depravity.

  Acceptance of this statement is contingent upon a belief in an evil present in us, yet, which originates from without. If we are victims, there has to be an oppressor. And there is. His name is Satan, the devil. Our sins are not merely a product of our free will. Yes, we make our own bad choices, but there is a powerful, invisible force influencing each one we make.

  The bible teaches us that before we are in Christ, we are slaves to sin. St. Paul writes in Romans 6:16: “Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?”

  To the extent that we are ruled by our passions, our desires, and longings—to serve ourselves and gratify the desires of our flesh—we are not ruled by the will that God has for our lives.

  If a man is a slave, he is a victim; if a man is a slave to sin, he too is a victim—a victim of Satan’s evil influence. If a man is in Christ, God’s grace allows him to withstand that influence—he can oppose it outright.

  My hope is to impress upon readers my conviction—weak thought it is at times when my faith is weak—that the great sinners in our midst—the liars, cheaters, stealers, terrorists, and abusers—should be pitied; our hearts should break with their moral failings. The gospel is for the oppressed and the oppressors. Relative to the greater cosmic forces of evil present in our world, perpetrated by Satan, even humanity’s worst oppressors are themselves oppressed.

  The rapist is equally lacking, if not more, a proper understanding of who he is in Christ—that he is made in the image of God—as a man who consensually sleeps around from one woman to the next. Unfortunately, his sins directly hurt others. When he dehumanizes another individual, he dehumanizes himself too.

  He will cause sometimes, irreparable damage, and if at any point—by the grace of god—he is made aware, and convicted of the way in which he dehumanized another individual,what a despairing reality for him that will be.

  I am not arguing in any way that we should diminish the sufferings of the oppressed in the course of forgiving the oppressors. I believe in justice and I believe in a code of law. But I also believe in the dignity of human persons. The worst of men are still men, and victims of Satan’s influence.

  The English poet Samuel Johnson once said, “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.” Indeed.

  What defines good people from bad people? Are certain sins unforgivable? Does God ask us to forgive the abusers?

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