Saturday, 08 January 2011
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How to Get What You Want (Nearly Every Time)
By Justin at BeDeviant
There are two ways to get what you want in the world:
- Push
- Pull
The first way is how most of the world works. Most people push their way through life, getting what they want by force. “Because I said so!” exemplifies this way of thinking.
Push their family members around.
Push colleagues and employees around.
Push their customers around.
Because they said so.But there’s a better way: Pull.
Dwight Eisenhower famously stated, “Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.” When you pull people along with you, you invite them on a journey:
Pulling your son along while you treat others with dignity and respect.
Pulling advertisers and sponsors along as friends and not just a paycheck.
Pulling your employees along as you let them think and act for themselves, gently correcting along the way.
Because they said so.No doubt about it, pulling takes much longer than pushing. The cost of pulling, however, is exponentially lower than pushing. Trust me.
I want people to feel pulled along their own path when they’re with me, not pushed through some foreign, self-made agenda. I want to be a puller, not a pusher. Don’t you?
Describe a time when you’ve felt pulled vs. pushed; pushed vs. pulled. What was the main difference between the two?
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About the Author
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- From: bedeviant
- Name: Justin
- About Me: A religious deviant who enjoys coffee, reading theology, graphic design, and spending time with his wife while creatively exploring the riches of the Spirit of Christ.
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Comments (8)
I like your point.
Too bad more people ion my company havent read this.
Maybe I'll email it to them.
I like this post. The phrasing is deceptively simple, but I think your point is really quite substantial. I hope people take time to think on it deeper.
Interesting! I guess that makes sense. I get ticked when someone pushes me that's for sure!
Great post...I like your posts! In my experience pulling requires courage, patience, humbleness, planning...leadership! Pushing seems to me is more reactionary...a response to someone's action and way way easier.
In a manager role at one company I worked I merely followed my management team allowing them to push me around...then I pushed the folks that worked for me. Uhg...it was horrible! There wasn't a clear vision for the company nor my team. I recognize that I missed an opportunity to lead.
Later as a member on a team I worked I was able to lead from the place I was assigned...no title, no 'official' leadership role. I had a vision for the team and did my best to walk towards it as an example to others. I had conflict with my manager at first, but then I learned that I was merely called to invite him (as well as others on the team) to consider my vision and follow...and they had choice to join or not. Once I understood that, my life became more peaceful and I wasn't burdened with the specific outcome. My role was merely to create and share my vision (trusting that the outcome could be good, whether it was exactly what I envisioned or not). I also realized in that season that it takes courage to lead and I'd not had it in my past management roles. I merely grabbed for status, but was too afraid or ignorant to actually lead.
I'm in a leadership role again now...and I constantly have to remind myself to pull/lead...and not push/withdraw.
And one last thought...this is a message for me, right? Not for the other people in my life (my boss for example)...meaning I'm the only one that I can control to make the decision to push or pull. If I think its someone else's job then that's an example of pushing...and not pulling, heh!
So what's your theory on getting what you want for yourself. You can't really "pull" yourself...
I normally really like your posts.. but not this one. i think it might be the way its titled.
Since when is the Christian life about getting what you want?
It all sounds a little selfish to me.
And I am pretty sure this tactic will not work on God.
But, I am going to try it on my preschooler and see what happens.
this website is very good, you can go and see it
http://www.shoes4world.com/
Wow, another post more suited for Dr Phil. I don't think I learned anything from this post and I forgot I was on a Christian blog while reading it. What happened to talking about something deeply meaningful?