Saturday, 24 July 2010
I was perusing my old Xanga account, mostly to see how much I've changed, and I came across a few poems I wrote. I'm surprised I would have been so open about my feelings back then. One poem in particular I found was written when I was 15. Obviously, it's not all good. But, I still feel like there are some good lines in here. And it's a bit disturbing to think back to how hopeless I felt four years ago.
January 13, 2006
In these empty eyes you can see my soul
See it as it is, empty, withered, and cold
It used to be so warm, loving, and kind
This one that I have now is nothing like mine
You should have seen it, when it was in it's prime
It was bursting with love and joy all the time
These eyes used to sparkle, glimmer, and gleam
Now these eyes do nothing, because nothing is what is seen
Everything I feel and the pain that I live in
It's all turn to nothing because that is what I've been in
So far so long a waste of time,
To dust has gone this heart of mine.
I know it's a shame, such a waste of space
But at least I've learned my true place
So if I trace this path on my arm,
You won't have to worry it won't do you harm
You don't have to worry, twitter, or whine
Because holds strong does this bind
I won't try to bother with a silly little letter
Because in a second I'll feel a lot better
Everything I feel will rush out of me
And spots on the floor is all you will see
So, why did I post this? Because, even in your darkest hours, when you feel as though you'll never be ok, there are opportunities that lay ahead of you. God really took hold of my life in the past few years and showed me how wonderful life can be. If I would have given up four years ago, I would never have been able to meet the wonderful and beautiful people that I have in my life right now. I would have never have gotten the chance to have such a hopeful future, because I would have given up on life completely.
So if you feel as though you'll never feel love in your heart again, just remember that your life isn't over yet. You never know what amazing opportunity is just around that figurative corner in your life.
How has God changed you in the last few years? Taking a look back at your old Xanga or Revelife posts, what is different about you now?