Tuesday, 22 June 2010
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The Meaning of a Diploma: God's Faithfulness
Diplomas mean many things--different things to different people. For the teenaged boy from a small town, a diploma may symbolize the freedom to explore dreams for the future. For the middle-aged housewife, a diploma may be a symbol of perseverance in spite of distractions and obstacles. For the academic acquiring his second or third degree, a diploma may mean increased prestige or even symbolize a search for something that cannot be found.What about me? The other day, I received email notification that my diploma is on its way.
...B.A. in Communication.
..Summa cum Laude--With Highest HonorI was thinking today, what exactly does my diploma mean to me? There is one answer, plain and simple:
My college diploma is incontrovertible proof that God is faithful.
1. God is faithful to enable me to do what I can't. During three of my years as a full-time student, I dealt with flared Crohn's Disease. More than once I did coursework from the hospital. Also more than once, I remember specifically thinking to myself that I had absolutely no idea how I had completed an assignment. The only explanation was God's power in me, doing what I was unable to do. In the past, I believed that God strengthens the weak. Now I know that strength from experience. It's not just a small boost to help me do a little bit better. It's miracle-working power when I've got nothing left.
2. God is faithful to work things out for good. I did not have a totally rose-colored college experience. I had bad professors, technology issues, and horrible courses. As with most degree programs, some things that happened were indefensible. Nevertheless, God worked each of them out by either allowing them to be resolved or to be insignificant enough that they did not affect the overall course outcome. I consider it almost a miracle that I did not do badly in any courses as a result of some of the mistakes that were out of my control.
3. God is faithful to give His children the desires of their hearts. For quite some time, it has been my dream to retain a 4.0 average and graduate college Summa cum Laude. I have wanted few things in my life as much as I wanted this. Many times, as I prayed, I would feel a feeling I now realize was from Satan-a feeling that God would deny me this simply because I wanted it so desperately; instead, I did my level best to give my dream to Him, and He gave it back to me. There's no way I could have done it alone. I gave my best shot, but it's only His lavish grace that caused that shot to hit the mark, in spite of my errors and the fallibility of others. It's not a reflection of my own perfection, but rather a reflection of His generous kindness to me.
4. God is faithful when my faith is weak. I have saved this one for last because it is what my diploma means to me more than anything else. Throughout my college experience, I have grown in my ability to let go and trust God. From day alpha to day omega, I became a very different person. And yet, at the end I still stressed out about assignments; I still had trouble relaxing until it was all over; I still wondered if I could possibly finish well after all. If I was like that at the end, then you can imagine what a basket case I was at the beginning! Here is the crux of it all: He was still faithful. God did not cease enabling me even when I thought that enabling was not enough. He did not stop strengthening me even when I worried that I could not do things. He did not leave me when I had meltdowns because a grade was lower than expected. I used to have a feeling in the back of my mind that God's love and kindness to me depended somehow on my faithfulness to trust Him and keep His commands. I know now that He is faithful to His children even when, and especially when, we falter. He proved to me again and again that the very things I accused Him of not doing were the things He was working out on my behalf. When I think back on my college career, His faithfulness in spite of me is absolutely staggering.
My diploma will forever serve as a reminder to me of the faithfulness of God that does not waver.
What does your diploma--whether you have it yet or not--mean to you? Where is the line between God's work and our own? Does God always show his love through accomplishments?
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About the Author
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- From: Pickwick12@xanga
- Name: Amy
- Location: Fort Myers, Florida, United States
- About Me: I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. -Dorothy Parker
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Comments (8)
Congratulations to you and God.
Congratulations! God helps us in so many ways. Kudos to you for seeing some of them.
so... if you had completely flunked out of college, would God be responsible for that as well?
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - If I had done my best and flunked out, I know without a doubt that God would have taken care of me and had other great plans for my life.
@Pickwick12@xanga - well sure, but that's assuming you did do your best. i can't speak for others, but i know that personally every time i failed at something, it was my own fault. i tend to reason with it by saying that if it had really been important to me, i would have tried harder to begin with.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I am a perfectionist, so doing my best at things like school is not generally an issue for me. Even if I had NOT done my best and ended up doing poorly, I believe God would have used my weakness to bring something good (though it would not have been his desire for me to not try).
At the end of my senior year in high school, after having performed with the all-county and all-state choirs I auditioned for, and was accepted into the all-nation choir. We toured Europe, performing in many cities in five countries. It was a great experience for me and I loved Europe. A few years later I packed the musical instrument I had begun studying, a few books on Buddhism, Christianity, and a couple of other religious/philosophical books, and holed up in a log cabin with no running water or electricity deep in the Vermont woods near Canada. After several months I again longed for civilization and had a deep yearning to return to Europe, not as a tourist or touring with another choir. I wanted to immerse in civilization there. I had no realistic thought of that actually happening in the near future, just the yearning.
I left the cabin and returned to NYC. Within about a week of returning to NY I was invited by friends to a weekend get-together on Long Island. There was a lot of talk about one particular woman who was going to be there. I wasn't going to go but changed my mind and joined the party after it was well under way. I immediately knew who the woman everyone was talking about. She was German, a former runway model, had PhD., was fluent in 8 languages. and was working in the U.S. There was immediately a tremendous electricity between us. We got married 3 months later. Several months later her contract came up and she asked if I wanted to move to Munich and we did, something that turned into one of the most profound experiences of my life. I could not have planned such a series of events in my wildest dreams. What I did have was something often called "Ichinen", a total confidence that I am one with the Universe. What follows that belief is a total confidence in prayer. With this attitude prayer is no longer a conversation with something or someone separate and unknown. It is no longer a conversation between a lowly sinner and that which is perfect. If an answer to prayer was seen in the form of money, even when we pray humbly and weakly believing ourselves to be unworthy sinners, our prayers will sometimes be answered in small bills here and there, but a powerful and confident prayer, one which is unburdened by the chains of guilt and remorse will be answered with more than all the money in the world could buy, and in ways our most meticulous daily planners could not lay out before us. Don't throw out the planners and the hard work but toss aside any weakness in one's dialog with Life. Even parents suffer and feel helpless upon seeing their child feeling worthless. They do their best to make their child feel worthy but the child needs to grow to understand she is worthy in the very depths of her being before she can accept the gifts her parents are trying so hard to give her.
Congratulations on your diploma by the way!
Congratulations! God is good. :)
When I finally get my diploma, I will see it as something I got by the grace of God and also as an important milestone in my preparation for doing the work that I feel God has called me to do.