Sunday, 21 March 2010
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Dealing With Peer Pressure: Fear God, Not Man
If your friends jumped off of a cliff...
Blah, blah, blah. Who knows how many times I heard this one from my parents when I was crying over getting that North Face jacket or designer purse in the 6th grade. Good to know that I have matured so much that I no longer fall prey to peer pressure. Or do I? Up until a few weeks ago I think I would have considered myself a mature adult who is capable of making decisions by herself without being controlled by the whims of people around me. Recently I have been reading Edward T. Welch’s book When People Are Big And God Is Small, and he convicts me of a previously ignored sin in my life on every page. Welch has brought to light areas in my life where I struggle with peer pressure and dependence on others that I would never have noticed.Typically I picture peer pressure as a middle school desire to be “cool”, but one way I see it in my life is the fear of saying “no” to somebody. Peer pressure or more generally, “fear of man”, can seriously overwhelm my schedule if I am afraid to face a moments disappointment from someone else. Lack of self-esteem is another way that people control us, in the sense that low self-esteem shows how much we care about what the people around us think. Or do you avoid people? This still exhibits a way in which our actions are controlled by others. If you still think that none of these apply to you and you believe there are no peer pressure issues in your life, people are still the standard by which you judge your ability to not be peer pressured. And that’s still a manner of being controlled by man and not the Lord! If your life centers around what people think of you, as mine often does, how can it simultaneously center around the Lord?
The central idea of Welch’s book is that we must learn how to need people less and love them more while learning to fear God instead of man. Easier said than done. I feel like this is an area that has never really been emphasized in the church teaching I have received. When I was young I heard a lot about peer pressure but never fully developed like this, and never have I really seen what the obvious solution is—the fear of the Lord. It’s truly amazing to me how the simplest concepts can be the hardest to grasp.
The Bible says a lot about this fear of man in our lives. Proverbs 29:25 explicitly says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” I would say that one of the central intentions of the Bible is to show us the places in our lives where we don’t fear the Lord and how that seriously impedes our relationship with him.
What does peer pressure or fear of man look like in your life? What are some ways in which we can redirect this fear of man to fear of the Lord?
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About the Author
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- From: haleyovercast
- Name: Haley
- About Me: Hi everyone! I am a 20 year old junior at Furman University in Greenville, SC. I love the Lord and can't wait to share with the revelife community my thoughts as well as learn from all of you!
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Comments (3)
I think we would all like to think that "peer pressure" is a junior high thing. Actually - it's easier to understand it when coming from a 13 year old rather than from an adult who is "mature in the faith." I believe that I struggle with peer pressure much more as a wife & mother of two than when I was in junior high. It is definately a function of the environment I live in. Where do I send my children to school? How I am going to decorate my home? What car am I going to buy? These are questions for the Lord & my husband. - yet I allow these decision to be complicated by fearing the disapproval of my friends. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge." Obviously, I am still learning!
I would offer that it goes both ways. Peer pressure can push people into religion just as much. If you are going to be against people following trends away from Christ to go with the flow, then you must also be against using such tools to bring people towards Christ. Otherwise you'd be having your cake and eating it too.
I didn't read your entire article because i have to go to bed. That being said it takes a courageous person to go against the grain. It takes a courageous person to be oneself when peer pressure is all around you. In our society it is often the adult peer pressure that sinks us into the status quo, an unhappy world in which to be. We drink alcohol to make us numb to the world in which we wound up and turn around to make anyone within our grasp to pull us into that world so we can make sure it's ok. If you have another calling, a calling your peers don't approve of then leave them and go after that calling. Otherwise you're dead in the water and a waste of birth. Harsh, I know, but that is the truth. You'll regret not having followed your passion for the rest of your life. "I could have been" is not what you want to say in your later years.