Friday, 22 January 2010
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Obsessed With Beauty: the Curse and the Cure
I read with sadness a story about erstwhile singer/actress Heidi Montag. She admitted that she's "obsessed with plastic surgery" after undergoing 10 procedures in one day. Seriously? Only ten makes you obsessed?
The 23-year-old discussed the 10 procedures in a People cover story interview in the magazine's January 25 issue. "No one is perfect. But I am obsessed with plastic surgery and with maintaining my looks," she told People.
Montag shared these confusing statements with ABC’s Good Morning America. "I think that I do look like myself, I just think that I'm a different, improved version of myself." Despite the plastic surgery, Montag insisted that her "main message is that beauty is really within." I would suggest that her actions suggest that she doesn’t believe that at all.
"I'm in the limelight, I'm in a different industry, and I have to do things that are going to make me happy at the end of the day," she explained on the Good Morning America show.
Older fogeys like your humble rambler know that plastic surgery is the last thing that will make you happy at the end of the day. But our culture certainly sends that message. I wrote in an earlier article that a disproportionate number of women who have posed in Playboy magazine have died tragically before the age of 50. Automobile accidents, drug overdoses, homicides --- all have claimed the lives of Playmates. I came across a comment from a photographer for the magazine.
"It's sad how many girls we've lost," said Peter Gowland, who photographed a number of centerfolds for Playboy in the 1950s and 60s.
"It's a curse to be beautiful," Gowland said.
No, Mr.Gowland, it is a gift to be beautiful. The curse is young women being exploited for their beauty by self-centered men. The curse is believing that your significance and value is found in being a object of lust for selfish men. The curse is sin.
I know, I know. I sound like such an old fogey. I have no issues with beautiful women. I married one. But there is real danger for men and women to obsess on looks alone. Pornography has become a significant and real problem in our culture. It is a problem for far too many Christian men. When I was a young man you had to go to some seedy, disgusting place to get pornography. Today I am ten seconds or less away from the whatever I want to download. In the interest of full disclosure I was a regular consumer of the aforementioned magazine many years ago. I regret every cent I spent and every moment I invested in devaluing those women. As men who are serious about following Jesus we must hold one another accountable to not contribute to this demeaning industry. I bought the rationalization for awhile that this magazine was “classier” and had “good articles”. What a load of bovine excrement that argument was in retrospect. I know that many women see no issue in being a “model” for these magazines. That doesn’t change my responsibility to view them as souls created in the image of God for His Glory and not objects for my desires.
Jesus knew how men are wired. He knew that we cannot play with the fire of lust without eventually getting burned. Countless marriages have been ruined by this pernicious industry. Intimacy has been impacted because of unrealistic expectations. Countless women have been exploited and damaged. And that brings us back to the real curse. Sin.
Let’s call it by it’s name.
There is a cure. Paul prescribes the cure to this curse in his letter to the church at Rome.
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.
No, it is not a curse to be beautiful. Or smart. Or talented. Or athletic. It is a curse to define yourself only by a temporal asset. You were created to be in fellowship with your Creator. Find that relationship and then beauty, intelligence, and talents become gifts to be used for God’s glory. Let’s review Paul’s incredible claim from above.
So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.Sin is the curse. You can check out the cure here.
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- From: daveburchett
- Name: Dave
- About Me: Dave Burchett is an Emmy Award-winning television sports director for Fox Sports, ESPN, and Jefferson Pilot Sports. Dave has directed Southeastern Conference basketball games for over twenty years. He has also directed Texas Ranger’s major league baseball telecasts for over twenty years and had the thrill of televising one of Nolan Ryan's no-hit games and Ryan’s 300th win. He and his wife, Joni, are former staff members of Campus Crusade's Athletes in Action. They currently reside in Garland, Texas where Joni is a Special Education Coordinator specializing in elementary students. Dave and Joni are the parents of three sons.
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Comments (25)
This is a fabulous post.
I believe women are wired to need to feel beautiful. What God calls us to realize is that our beauty comes from within because He made us the way He wants us to be, and we can exemplify His beauty to the world.
The whole Heidi thing is so messed up. In the People article she talks about how she had the surgery because of how other people talked about the way she looked...but then when People asked if she was worried how people would view her after the surgery she basically said, no it was her skin and she proud of it. ??? She also still thinks she's a good role model because she managed to hook Spencer before her second breast augmentation just because she was pretty on the inside. As if she wasn't pretty on the outside.
And her doctor is the biggest ass I've heard from in a while, saying he "made her beautiful." EXCUSE ME?! She already was beautiful! Grrrrrr.
This is a beautiful post.
I think the overall number one sin in the USA is greed. I have a motto for young gals when I comment sometimes: BRAINS ARE BETTER THAN BEAUTY OR BOYS. We are not going to stop gals from wanting to look nice, but we need to do a good job of keeping them focused on their education. I love it when I see young ladies educating themselves and trying to put the 'dating' thing in the background a bit--but it is hard.
I believe parents should keep a sharp eye on their boys looking at any kind of pron, soft pron, or the inappropriate displaying of a gal.Guys just cannot help looking, but they also need to be taught to respect the gals that they know.
When I was 14, I saw some soft porn in a men's magazine that played havoc with my mind. I finally over came the influence, but it took years.
blessings
frank
Great post!
@Pickwick12@xanga - No, women aren't wired that way. Society places women's power in relation to their beauty. I guess to an extent everyone is wired to appreciate beauty. But no one is really wired to put make up on.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I don't mean we're wired to need to feel beautiful on the outside, but to feel (and be) beautiful in essence.
I agree with John and Stacy Eldridge's take on this in the book Captivating. They talk about how God created every woman with a beautiful essence and that we're wired to feel beautiful the way God made us.
@Pickwick12@xanga - I don't see that being gender specific.
@FRANK - I REALLY appreciate your comments that I see around Xanga, so this is not meant in a critical or badgering way, but I wanted to tell you what my own experience has been.
The grades/study thing has been a huge issue in my life. I have had so much anxiety about school that it has adversely affected my health. It's eaten up my life during the time I've been in college. The women in my family all tend to be smart and educationally accomplished, but not very feminine.
As I look toward my own future family, I'd like to add a little more emphasis on genuine womanly beauty that, of course, starts from within the heart of a woman who serves the Lord. I believe women were created, in part, to bring beauty into the world by the way we act and exemplify Christ. I'd like to teach my future daughters that wanting to be pretty is a natural and healthy thing as long as we realize that God created us all the way He wanted us, that we are beautiful to Him, and that true beauty is from the inside. I don't want them to grow up thinking that true beauty-God's kind-is less important than being smart.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - That's cool. The Eldridges put it like this: Every woman wants to be a beauty, and every man wants a beauty to fight for. That's how I see it, too, but you could definitely contend that men bring beauty into the world, too.
@Pickwick12@xanga - Yeah. Women are good fighters too.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Oh, yes! If you read Captivating (which I think is a great book) another one of the core qualities of women that they name is the desire to fight/be part of an adventure.
@Pickwick12@xanga - I loved your reply and it was beautifully written. I agree with you on this. I guess I could be a little more balance. I guess as an old guy of 76 that despite the very normal inclinations of gals wanting to look attractive, in the long run they will do better, in my opinion, if they do not let anything or anyone deter them from getting their education.
You brought some balance to my comments. Thanks for sharing.
blessings
frank
@Pickwick12@xanga - Yes, Captivating! I loved that someone finally caught on to the warrior princess thing.
@theworldiswatchingyou@xanga - Me too! I thought it was a really balanced perspective on women
"It is a curse to define yourself only by a temporal asset."
I agree!
VERY well written post. If only our young teenage girls could get this, there would be considerably less heartache in the world.
w00t..preach it brother ;) you don't sound like an old fogey...you sound like a man who is honest and tells it like it is
i believe that people (not just women) turn to plastic surgery, or really anything that involves changing your appearance (losing weight, getting a haircut, etc), because what they see in the mirror does not match what they see in their mind's eye when they think of themselves. and i always find it strange that taking steps to have those two things match up is somehow discouraged. for example... i'd love to have a nose job. mine is crooked, not too noticeably, but every time i notice it in a mirror it shocks me in a way.... when i think of my appearance in my mind's eye, i'm missing the crooked nose every time. on a daily basis, it's like i realize that i'm not as pretty physically as i feel on the inside. i agree, beauty comes from within... but i see absolutely no problem with someone deciding they want to look exactly like how they see themselves. to say that that is somehow wrong is basically sending the message that people should, in effect, settle for the appearance given to them and completely disregard any way in which they feel lacking. and i would hope that your beliefs would apply to all changes of appearance... losing weight for reasons other than health, wearing makeup, shaving your legs, etc.
as for the sin aspect... "Countless marriages have been ruined by this pernicious industry." stop blaming other people for your infidelity and learn to keep it in your pants. if naughty pictures is enough motivation to hurt the people you love, that's your responsibility. i live for the day when Christian men stop blaming attractive women for their libidos.
What really blows me away is that on top of being already naturally beautiful, she's only 23. It's insanity to write that off as normal.
This is crazy. Playboy girls are so airbrushed and Photoshopped it's ridiculous. Years ago there was an article about a female construction worker who became a Playboy centerfold. Nothing against her but Playboy took on the challenge to enlarge things and airbrush her to make her look quite a bit different than she did in real life. Just look at Playboy girls and you see airbrushing all over the page. A top fashion model who everyone knows, famous but I won't mention her name, had 7 moles on her face and a photo editing house I visited made a living removing 6 of them. Don't compare yourself to that crap. This whole thing of meeting expectations is one of the most horrible things in the U.S.
Very well-written post. I totally agree.
"No, it is not a curse to be beautiful. Or smart. Or talented. Or athletic. It is a curse to define yourself only by a temporal asset. You were created to be in fellowship with your Creator. Find that relationship and then beauty, intelligence, and talents become gifts to be used for God’s glory. Let’s review Paul’s incredible claim from above."
Extremely excellent post. You are completely right about the idea of putting our worth in temporal things. All of this will lead to inevitable failure and disappointment at the least. Your example of beauty demonstrates this very well. I think work and career in general are also too often mistaken for measure of a person's worth.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga -
" if naughty pictures is enough motivation to hurt the people you love, that's your responsibility. i live for the day when Christian men stop blaming attractive women for their libidos."Please clarify how the writer is blaming women. It seems to me that he is blaming his own sin.
@WildeCosette@xanga - i quoted the particular sentence i was referencing: "Countless marriages have been ruined by this pernicious industry." that sounds like passing the blame to me.