Tuesday, 15 December 2009
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A Near-Death Miracle: The Atheist Who Saw God
Or Santa Claus as I continue to refer to him. Which I suppose is why it's been on my mind, what with the holidays approaching.On January 2nd 2009, I had my first spine surgery. Everything went fine -- so it seemed -- until the day after I went home. I woke up in excruciating pain, as though my skull was being crushed. At times, the pain was so bad I would throw up. I was only home for ten days; in that span of time, I stopped sleeping, eating and finally drinking. It felt like I was going insane. All I could do was cry hysterically and lie in the dark. I was going to kill myself, but instead I went back to the hospital that day. I lost ten pounds before finally being taken to the ER, where they found a hole in my spinal cord and a massive spinal fluid leak, building up around my spine and into my brain.
I had another surgery only 19 days after the first, only to wake up in the operating room to be told that they hadn't been able to find the hole. They had instead used 'medical glue' and stitched me back up, but the pain was still there. Morphine did nothing. None of the drugs did anything. I never ate or drank anything while there for almost 3 weeks. I was kept alive by IV fluids alone. The doctors didn't know what to do, they had no idea when or if I would be able to go home. The Living Will people started visiting me in my room. The implications were obvious.
It was pain constantly, crying constantly, watching the minutes on the clock until my next medication dose. And that's when it happened.
It was 45 minutes past my scheduled medication time of 3 AM. I was pressing the call nurse button and crying hysterically when I heard someone in the doorway. But when I looked under the dividing curtain, I saw bare feet. And then a man walked into my room and over to the foot of my bed. Average looking, wearing a hospital gown, probably in his 60's. Stocky, with snow white hair and a short snow white beard. He stood there and smiled at me for a few moments, then turned and left. He never made a sound, just smiled and left. A few moments later a nurse came with my painkillers and I slept for the first time in days.
The next morning, I woke up and had breakfast for the first time in almost a month. I drank juice. There was no pain. No headache. Soreness from the surgery yes, but nothing else. I got up and walked around the hallways. I went to the bathroom. I was also discharged that day. The doctors were mystified, they had no explanation for me making a full recovery in a span of hours.
I've never been one to believe in miracles, despite being what you might call 'lucky'. I was born non-responsive, the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. Dropped 25 feet out of a tree. Drowned. A 107 fever when I was 16 that made my organs fail and landed me in the ER, only to be sent home 5 hours later. A car accident where the car flipped twice and hit a tree and I wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Those I have always explained away as the good use of CPR, modern science and maybe 9 lives. But almost a year later, I can flashback to that night in the hospital and find no logical explanation. No scientific cure or drug. Just a man who smiled at me, and waking up pain-free.
Do you believe that God performs miracles like this today? If so, why? Have you experienced a miracle like this?
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About the Author
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- From: Pure_Taint@xanga
- Name: Lauren
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States
- About Me: The name's Lauren, I'm a 19 year old (current) college drop out. I spend my time on Xanga because, as I recover from surgeries, I don't have shit else to do. This blog is, musings, rants and my own personal diary to keep track of the nights I can't remember come morning.
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Comments (47)
People are too quick to use religion to explain something that doesn't have a logical explanation. Go ahead and consider it a miracle, but consider all the people who are starving around the world. Why would he bother with you, yet let millions starve.
@Pcgecko85@xanga - Why does God let people starve, say the Americans who throw out 14% of the food they bring home.....
my biggest problem with the idea of miracles is understanding all the miracles that didn't happen. does God just arbitrarily choose who He's going to help? if not, what makes one person more deserving than another? for every miracle like yours, there are millions apparently ignored by God. it makes Him seem more like a random force of nature than a conscious being.
:)
Yes, I believe in miracles. My mom is one. My grandfather had a disease that made it 100% impossible for him to have children, but God healed him, and my mom was conceived later. That's just one. Your story is fabulous! Thanks for sharing. I believe God's working in your life, and I know He loves you tons!
@Pcgecko85@xanga - I'm not really using religion. Revelife also changed the name of the post. I'm an atheist. Have been for almost a decade now. I wrote my blog to just open a forum of discussion.
Do I believe in God? No.
Do I believe in miracles? Barely.
Do I understand what happened to me in the hospital? Not a fucking clue.
I totally believe in miracles.
I cannot explain why miracles don't happen in some cases. There are many factors involved in why they don't happen that I may go into on my own blog soon. But yes, God still does miracles. I want to be careful not to make it a formula, as some movements have made it a formula that a person didn't have enough faith, had unconfessed sin, etc etc. Granted those could be reasons, but it's not always the case and sometimes God heals even if there is lack of faith on someone's part or if there's unconfessed sin. In fact I've seen non-Christians be healed too, and that definitely introduces them to the goodness of God that leads to repentance!
I've seen people healed. God has used me to open up deaf ears and to heal burns, ankles, knees, etc. Other miracles I've seen through other people...a leg that is shorter than the other grows out, a man healed of COPD, a friend of mine who needed a walker after surgery was healed at a church service.
Jesus commanded us to heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons, and cleanse the lepers. It is actually part of preaching the gospel. Many Christians are just about preaching the gospel of salvation. That's all well and good, but that is not the full gospel of the Kingdom. Jesus wants us to preach the gospel of the Kingdom and do those works.
And Jesus said that we would do greater works than he did. How can we do those greater works if we're not even doing the works he did?
Now I understand many Christians will disagree with me on this. That's fine. I was a Christian that, at one time, didn't believe that the supernatural gifts were for today. But over time, through both studying the Bible and experiencing God, I found that we should be operating in these gifts and this should be NORMAL!
Now in some cases, even with no one there praying for you (well someone could be, but you don't see them or even know they're praying) God just shows up and preforms the miracle.
God healed you because he loves you, and he wants you and him to have relationship! He's showing you his goodness! And definitely, he is good!
@Pcgecko85@xanga - I think God created us with the ability to do His work through Him (it's been done countless times throughout the Bible). With regard to starving children in the world, God has blessed many people with enough wealth to spread around. The problem is, we (Americans in particular) aren't too keen on sharing it, or we otherwise waste it on things we don't need. God doesn't work by sending food from the sky (though He can do whatever He wants), He made human beings as vessels to carry out His work. You can't blame God if it's the humans who prefer to be selfish and lazy.
@Pure_Taint@xanga - I figured. I'm glad you got better. In most of these medical "miracles" I would guess that the body finally figures out what's wrong and heals itself. Physicians cannot explain the consequence due to lack of data. Hell, I work with software all day and some problems are fixed by resetting something and I have no idea why it all of a sudden works. I suppose those are "miracles" too. haha.
@Pcgecko85@xanga - Agreed. A small part of me still likes to think it was Santa with a late christmas gift. I believe that easier than a miracle...
@Pure_Taint@xanga - Lol, I find it easier to believe it was a loose mentally disabled patient, or a perverted patient. Some guy who looked like Santa Claus believed me to be a prostitute and tried motioning me over to his truck. Maybe that was God. Maybe that was Santa. Maybe that was just a perverted old man. The things we'll never (well, maybe) know!
Miracles are rare events. Rare events still happen so long as their probability is above zero.
It's pretty interesting (and by that I mean obvious and predictable) that there hasn't been a single "miracle" that isn't known to happen. For instance I knew a person that had cysts in his lungs that went away, reportedly after people prayed for him. However, cysts go away on their own unless they become cancerous, even if there is no praying for the person, but this didn't stop him.
There was a point when reproduction, lightning/thunder, the movement of the spheres, et cetera, were all "miracles."
I wouldn't sell short the team of educated professionals and state-of-the-art equipment that saved you - they may have had a bit more to do with it.
god doesn't exist. it was a hospital, there are ALOT of old people walking around on strange medications that make them loopy in dressing gowns barefoot.
God Loves You! He wants you personally for His child. He created you, and paid your adoption fee with his blood. Please accept his call.
@Pure_Taint@xanga - "Do I believe in God? No. Do I believe in miracles? Barely."
OK-----go ahead, believe in Santa Claus. Believing in something besides oneself or even chaos is certainly a start. LAW--
Maybe you got a hobo in your hospital room and then modern medicine helped you survive.
Oh, the miracle of modern medicine and the science that created it! I BELIEVE!!!
As followers of Jesus, we are called to...
1 Corinthians 12:27-28
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And
in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets,
third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of
healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration,
and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.
Do I believe in miracles? Of course, I believe what happened to you was a medical miracle. But I don't think the fact that you were healed was a miracle. The man you saw was doing the will of God, something we are called to do everyday, but unfortunately fail at miserably in this country.
What do I think happened?
The man in prayed right in front of you "In Jesus name, be healed!"
You don't think we have to get on our knees and close our eyes in order to pray?
We do that to show submission and humbleness before God, but it's not required.
Open your eyes, it's easier to let God into your life than try to live your life your own way.
You ask people to explain what happened, but no one can.
You attended college to learn, you learn by reading books and then apply that through examples and real world experience. Same thing applies to God, you read the Bible, you learn how God works in this world and why he would "choose you". You then apply apply what you learned in the real world.
Even while in your own heart, you were denying God, he still worked in you giving you another day. Wow, that's a lot of love.
It's easy to just read God's word than try to explain a world without God. Here it is, the link, it's the Bible... http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%201&version=MSG
We are so blessed as a country, we can just click a link and read the word of God, but no one wants to read it, even a lot of "Christians" don't. You can apply that logic to why there is some much injustice in the world.
Here you go, I just made it easier for you, but you must take the next step.
I'll pray for you.
God Bless,
Scott
I do believe that its possible. And, I haven't got a clue why. I guess, unless he tells you, you just don't know. And he doesn't always seem inclined to say. :p
As for this kind of miracle, no. But, I do remember a time when I begged desperately for help and no one was around, but yet suddenly the neighbor called the police and I got the help I needed. I won't go into details, but just let me say there was no reason for that neighbor to have realized that something was that wrong in the house. It wasn't an intruder, I was just sick and needed help and alone. And I couldn't get the help I needed by myself at that point in time.
If it wasn't God answering my pleas, then it must have been one zinger of a coincidence.
It's not the first time an angel has appeared in an odd guise, and it won't be the last. God obviously believes in you, even if you don't in him.
I certainly do believe in miracles, and your story sounds like a prime example. I also believe miracles include the things we can "explain." (Doctors may know exactly what makes my body heal when I skin my knee, but that doesn't make it any less miraculous that it happens at all!)
I'm in no position to say whether or not you "saw God,"--maybe God, maybe a saint or angel, maybe a vision, maybe just some stranger who was praying for you--but I do believe God looks at you and smiles. As one former atheist wrote recently, God is "ignorable" (here and here). Maybe He's been trying to get your attention a bit?
Also: Somebody once said, "I was going to ask God why He lets millions of people around the world starve to death when He could do something to stop it, until I realized He could ask the same of me."
@Roadkill_Spatula@xanga - "It's not the first time an angel has appeared in an odd guise, and it won't be the last. God obviously believes in you, even if you don't in him."
Outstanding!!!------and true, by the way, on both counts!! LAW--
Yes I do believe in miracles. I have seen too many to not believe. I alive today because of a miracle. It's too long a story 2 tell here but I was sick and dying, people prayed for me and I got better. All my symptoms were gone and the actual virus itself. When I got back from the island and went to the Dr. they only confirmed what I knew after I was healed on the island. I was healed. Another friend of mine, actually my spiritual director witnessed his friend Mike being brought back from the dead. Here's a quote from the article. Taken from North County The Californian article by Paul Sisson.
"Although no one knows exactly how long Connelly's brain went without oxygen, Nielsen said it had to be at least 10 minutes. That length of time, he said, usually results in severe brain damage if a patient ever regains consciousness."Generally, the rule of thumb is if you go for more than four minutes without oxygen, you will see severe damage to the brain," Nielsen said.
Paramedics drove the unconscious man to Tri-City Medical Center, where doctors decided that inducing hypothermia was Connolly's best chance for survival.
After 24 hours of cooling, doctors tried to bring Connelly out of an induced coma, but every time they
did, he suffered seizures. Seizures, Nielsen said, are usually a sign that a patient is not going to recover.
The family prepared for the worst, but prayed nonetheless.
Connelly woke up a few days later. Sitting in his hospital room Monday, Connelly conversed with family members and joked with nurses, some who have taken to calling him the "miracle man.""
@Pure_Taint@xanga - Wow, the title being changed really changed the meaning of the post.
@SpokenThruScott@xanga - I love your comment. You have truly a great heart and spirit aligned with the Spirit of God. Your intentions are pure. Keep it up.
As for the special young lady who posted this, you ask God to reveal Himself to you and He will. If you want an explanation that makes sense, because healings happen everyday in a lot of churches without medicine and hospitals, why not this one? WHy is it easier to believe in Santa Claus or imperfect people like doctors than a perfect being who wants your love and attention? Perhaps He chose you to save because He wants to work in your life?
About the starving children, I'm not saying it's right for them to starve, cuz it's cruel, but "man does not live on bread alone but by the living Word of God." And God works through people so if people don't want to share their wealth like the rich man in Luke, then look out for the future. That unfortunate starving child is more likely to get to Heaven than the rich and selfish one. Also, think of what got this world to the point where there's more people in poverty than in comfort. It's because of selfish people sitting on top who have more than enough to give but keep it all to themselves. These people have asked God to stay away for so long and He, being the gentleman that He is, sadly removed Himself from the scene leacing His true followers to do His work. But hey not all humans love God truly to do His work and bing bang bo--starving children.
Well youa re all in my prayers, non-believers and believers alike. God bless!
I TOTALLY imagined a barefoot Morgan Freeman peeking into the room..........