Do you think Christians don't open themselves up to the way of celibacy enough? --
TheGreatBoutShort Answer: Yes, I think that Christians do not consider the option of celibacy seriously enough.
Long Answer:
I find celibacy an interesting topic, because it's just as much a cultural question as it is a "religious" (I don't like that word) question. As an Asian girl, to not be married would more or less devastate me, especially since I want a family of 6-8 boys, and I myself have never considered celibacy. Looking at Western culture, we are constantly given the impression that to be alone is equivalent to death, and that we would never be able to survive without our significant other, same gender or not--a question we can deal with later. So within our culture, celibacy is never really an option in the long run. As "cool" as it might be to be unattached, pop-culture shows us that, without the love of a significant other, our life will eventually come to a place where we will be unfulfilled.
But what does the Bible say? Clearly, in the past, monks and nuns have had more of a presence, and yet at times it was also accompanied by a feeling of shame: the woman who couldn't get a husband, the man who didn't want to join the crusades, the child who neither parent wanted to acknowledge. Culture has obviously affected our "religious" stance on things.
According to 1st Corinthians 7:1, Paul thinks that "it is good for a man not to marry." Is he against marriage? Not at all; God created marriage. Paul goes on to explain himself in verses 32-35 saying that:
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.Paul is clearly all for celibacy, provided we can control our sexual urges, as naturally it is better to marry than to live in sin.
So then why is celibacy not considered more often among Christian communities?
In my opinion, it is because no one teaches about it nearly as much as they teach about relationships. Even if we don't look at the messages on a Christ-centered relationship versus those about devoting our lives ultimately to Him, many messages are filled with examples or analogies having to do with a husband and wife, or boyfriend and girlfriend. So Christians are being given the impression that the best thing is to have a Christ-centered relationship, rather than to remain celibate and devote themselves to Him
Celibacy also comes with the idea that they
can't stay in a steady relationship, or that they are running from relationships in general; no one really considers him or herself to be
in a relationship with Jesus Christ, partly because, among Christians, we all are in a relationship with Jesus.
Weddings are also a
huge reason why Christians--girls at least--don't consider celibacy. What girl doesn't want a wedding? Whether you dream about it when you're little or if you just grow up and see all your friends getting married and realize that you're never going to have this on earth, it just isn't very fun. Every wedding serves as a reminder that you don't have someone tangibly there.
I think something that would help reduce the stigma of remaining celibate to serve Jesus Christ--as that is why Paul says you should remain celibate; because you're afraid of relationships isn't quite the same thing--would be to hold wedding ceremonies for the men and women who choose to remain celibate before God. It would be an awesome celebration for everyone and people would understand that this is a choice that they have made to serve God, and not be hindered by the sexual urges that plague the rest of us.
What is your opinion of celibacy? Would you be willing to devote yourself to a celibate lifestyle?
Comments (57)
I think it's good for some people. And I think many should really consider it. As for myself, I don't think I'm called to it, but I'm not above or beyond the possibility.
No. God bless those that do!
I always cringe when 1 Corinthians 7 starts getting used. We need to remember that Paul thought Jesus was coming SOON (not soon in the way Christians today think, but literally, Jesus was returning at the moment, the present form of the world was "passing away"). He also told slaves to remain as slaves. In addition to that, Corinth was known as a particularly seedy town, so it would make sense that Paul set goals higher for them. Remember the letters were written toward particular communities, we should be careful when reading them and what we take from them.
As of August 16th, 2008.
Celibacy, it should be distinguished, is merely a lifestyle excluding sexual activity. Celibate chastity is what monks/nuns/and members of religious orders live. There is much more to a vow of chastity than simply not having sex, I promise you that!
It is a beautiful life though; very freeing, and it teaches you things about love that you wouldn't learn any other way. It does have its challenges, but I find it is a sacrifice worth making to follow Christ all that more closely. If he can do it, so can I (with lots and lots of his help)!
"...would be to hold wedding ceremonies for the men and women who choose to remain celibate before God."
Many of the more traditional women's religious orders actually do this very thing. The young woman, upon entering the novitiate, wears a wedding gown. As they go through formation, they make vows, consecrating themselves to Christ as His Bride, they don the veil, and even change their names.
For example: http://www.benedictinesofmary.org/page-novitiate.htmlHere is a clip from a movie about the life of St. Francis of Assisi, when St. Clare makes her first profession. She is dressed as a bride before being given the habit of her order. Also it is interesting to note that the actress in this clip, Dolores Hart, was an up-and-coming actress famous for looking like Grace Kelly and for giving Elvis his first on-screen kiss. Two years after filming this particular movie about St. Francis, she became a Benedictine nun.
A life of celibacy does contradict the commandment to "be fruitful and multiply"
but it's important to keep in mind that if the whole world became celibate...the whole world would die out. Though it could help with population control...
Okay, all kidding aside, that verse from Corinthians makes sense when I read it, but sometimes it feels like a lose-lose situation whether you're single or not. If you're single, for many people, their priority is to find a way to not be single anymore. And if you're married, then your priority is, like you mentioned, to please your spouse. No matter how hard we pray otherwise, as long as we are on this earth, our prriorities will always be divided regardless of whether we're single or not.
Nah. I respect those that do, but...just not for me.
celibacy is an exception... not a rule... i think it's unhealthy to make celibacy the standard for single people... it would be more advantageous to suggest and condone celibacy till marriage to be sure... I would argue that celibacy is in fact more of a divine gift and not everyone can have it... and also, stress that just cuz you are gifted w/ lifelong celibacy, it doesn't make you better than anyone either, you are just called to a different standard of living in order to present the Gospel...
for me, i am not gifted with it and thus desire marriage till Jesus comes back... so we'll see...
it should be done educationally i say... tell people about it and let them search for themselves... though 95-98% of people will be married... doesn't make it any less important to educate the people about the gift of celibacy and what it means...
@scrambledmegsntoast@xanga - If Paul somehow was able to know that Jesus wouldn't come back for at least 2000 or so more years do you think he'd have the same advice for the Church in Corinth?
I have devoted myself to a celibate lifestyle, actually. :p And I like that.
However, I really don't agree with the post about the reasons people don't live a celibate lifestyle, but there is just so much to say that...I don't know where to start. :/
@tracezilla@lovelyish - I totally want to hear all of what you're not sharing lol
...No
I'm 19, still a virgin. Not because I'm celibate, but because I'm asexual. It's easy to restrain yourself from something you're not interested in in the first place.
lol
:D
- Kunoichi
you can remain celibate until you marry if you connected the dots that loose morals & sexually activity is bad for your body,your heart & your mental health.Your heart will end up getting hurt sooner rather than later,then more sex is needed to get over that & move on,& lonliness prevails ever more in the needy & the ones depending on sex to get them thru life. It becomes a very sad,lonely life for those that MUST have sex.
I am celebate by choice,but if I met the right person & we enjoyed each other alot,then after that sex might happen but even better,on the actual wedding night!
The post you made is all very well, but recent events have Disproven several things, especially regarding a "celibate" priesthood.
It is of great note that the Roman Catholic Church is now trying to suppress media information and settle out of court many cases of priests sexually abusing children of both genders.Clearly, a celibate priesthood is at best a broken wish.
Expressing my view another way: God may not have been wrong, but His message was certainly deliberately distorted out of all recognition at the point it at which it was edited and distorted into use as a political tool. From that point, all the other issues are corollaries.However, citing the Bible as an authority on such matters is in itself a fallacy: The Bible was edited, primarily by Oesebius, as a tool to ensure political control of a rapidly fragmenting Roman Empire, for which reason the conversion to Christianity as propounded by the Apostle Peter was being used as a kind of social cement. That all this takes place over 150 years after the 'death of Christ, and His Ascension' lends credibility to the view that the Bible was a political manifesto, rather than the "Received Word of God".
Much more disturbing is the recent trend for many allegedly Christian churches to become increasingly Right Wing, to the point of being almost indistinguishable from the Fascist parties of the 1930's. No matter how these "churches" couch their terminology and doctrines, their dogma and their tenets, it usually boils-down to "Live your Life as this Church Instructs you to." That is defined fascism, by any sane measure.
As such, the Bible is a less than credible source of discussion or regulation of morality, notwithstanding that most societies have an established moral code which seems to adequately deal with human interaction on most levels, be that society "Christian" or not.
All in all, I found the post interesting, but nothing I haven't encountered before, in over 40 years.
^Uyraell^.
i don't see how being celibate is a spiritual bonus, unless you're just some horrible sex addict and it actually interferes with your communion with God. Jesus was probably celibate because he knew he wouldn't be around for long, and it would have been unthinkingly selfish to get married and/or bring children into this world when he knew he'd eventually leave them.
@scrambledmegsntoast@xanga - Well sure, but Paul's words there echo what Jesus said about "...and some are eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven," when his disciples commented that if his teachings were true, it'd be better not to marry. And Jesus (we assume) knew that he wouldn't be coming back in twenty years or less, right?
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Did Jesus break the commandment to "be fruitful and multiply?" then? I know that you were being a little sarcastic with the "
" but I have been challenged by many that I as a celibate person am breaking the commandment (which of course I disagree with!). I'm just interested in your thoughts regarding my question.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I don't think it's mean as a spiritual bonus so much as a way of "traveling light." If I suddenly feel that God is calling me to go be a missionary to Belize, or to go feed the poor in Calcutta, or to go teaching English in Turkey... it's a lot easier to suddenly pack up and go if I'm single. If I'm married, and/or have a family, there's a lot more involved.
Oh, in answer to the end-of-post questions:
I am all in favor of celibacy as a Christian discipline. However, I am not willing to devote myself to a celibate lifestyle, as my wife would be quite angry with me.
I'm 31. I'm still a virgin, but I'm not fulfilling that Scripture either. The Church's standard lifestyle choices are either marry or be a monk. That's because nothing short of monasticism really fulfills that commandment (e.g. I still play video games rather than devoting all my time to prayer). Burning with any form of lust, not just sexually, makes it advisable, since marriage gives you a physical someone to set aside your own desires for and thus live a self-sacrificing life.
As a random note, I do wonder if there was a practice in the earliest days of the Church for people to imitate Mary and St. Joseph. Paul's use of "virgin" (he doesn't say "young woman", just parthenos) is rather odd.
@NSFWChristian@xanga - true, but i would consider that a personal choice or preference, not specifically a calling from God to be single. and i'd argue that if you find the right person, it's not that involved.
hey everyone =)
Thanks for all your comments, I learned a lot =)
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - I didn't know that certain religious orders have a sort of marriage ceremony, so thanks for bringing that to my attention =) I also looked at both your links, and I found them interesting =)
@scrambledmegsntoast@xanga - I agree with TheGreatBout...if God is unchanging, then I don't think his message would change, this doesn't seem, to me at least, to be something where it's a cultural thing as some people would say about other passages, to me there isn't a reason why that would change...but maybe I'm missing something =P
@TheGreatBout@xanga - thanks =)
@momzmybiz@xanga - your comment made me laugh =)
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - that's true, there are room for distractions either way =) So what do you think our attitude to be towards marriage and celibacy?
@Uyraell@xanga - well, first I'm not Catholic, so I'm not entirely sure what to say to you, because I really know nothing on the subject, as for the Bible being a political manifesto, I can see why it would be taken that way, but the ideas within it are rather odd for politics if you ask me, love your enemy, he who is first shall be last, all that good stuff seems counter-intuitive to me. Regardless, as a Christian, I do believe that the Bible is the word of God. If you want to recommend readings or something for me, I don't mind reading them...after my exams are over =) It seems like I have a lot to learn from you
@NSFWChristian@xanga - thanks =)
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - I wasn't trying to challenge you. I was just playing devil's advocate. I think people should live however God calls them to live, whether that's celibacy or in marriage. Though some people spend their entire lives trying to figure it out.
I made a pledge of celibacy January 2009 and unfortunately have lost relationships with men due to it but I've continued to stay strong in my celibacy. Originally I wanted to be celibate until marriage but now I'm celibate until I meet the right person that could possibly lead towards marriage.