Friday, 11 December 2009
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BDSM: Is It a Sin?
I would like to hear your thoughts on BDSM.
BDSM is a compound acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).
What do you think about BDSM? Is there something mentioned in the Bible that tells us whether or not it is sinful? What determines what sexual practices are sinful, both in and out of wedlock?
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- From: Kristenmomof3@xanga
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Comments (310)
No but I am sure someone out there will say sex for pleasure is a sin so.. yeah..
I have known many people who have been drawn to bdsm, all in different ways and for various reasons. I think it mainly depends on the motives and desires behind it. Generally I would say no, it is not a sin within wedlock. But there are also extreme forms that can cause serious permanent harm to your body, and I would be quite hesitant about okaying that in any relationship.
I'm going to give the simple answer of: Between consenting spouses, no. Unless it hurts the love that occurs outside the sheets, then it becomes a problem but that is true of any sexual activity.
If a person is in that lifestyle and not happy I would say its unhealthy, but I cannot think of any scriptural evidence (someone can correct me if I'm wrong) against it. If any sexual act creates problems in your marriage or health that you should probably avoid it. If it doesn't, go for it. As for myself, I partake in that lifestyle and most people who do participate feel a great deal of trust and faith towards their partner. I feel closer to my husband that way.
There are no scriptures that specifically forbid any sexual acts within the boundaries of marriage. If it does not offend the conscious of either the man or woman, than it is permissible.
Outside of wedlock, obviously, the practice is a sin.
Having said that, I am not familiar with all the practices of "BDSM". There are, obviously, certain things that are forbidden for Christians to participate in, usually having to do with drinking blood, etc.
IF BDSM includes practices such as drinking blood.... then yes, that would be sinful for the participants, not because of a sexual practice, but because of that activity.
Hebrews says that the marriage bed is undefiled, and Paul says that to the pure all things are pure, so as such, I would say that BDSM is not sinful, and married couples can feel free to be intimate however they'd like.
That said, it is definitely true that some are motivated into BDSM activities for unhealthy reasons, and those underlying reasons might need to be addressed.
Also, always use a code word. Mine is 'foliage.'
I know that the Bible says your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I am a woman who likes it rough, and loves to wrestle and likes the idea of rough sex (when I get married of course). I don't think it's wrong necessary to play rough or be creative with intimacy---however, I do think when it gets to the point where you are damaging your body, as in broken bones or cuts--I think you have reevaluate the situation and think, am I treating my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, the way God wants me to treat it?
The whole purpose of sex is as part of the two becoming one. BDSM does not seem conducive to that harmony and beauty. Sex as a part of marriage between believers is to communicate the holy love Christ has for the church to present her pure and spotless to Himself, "without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish." BDSM doesn't exactly communicate that. God doesn't define sex negatively as what should not be done (don't commit adultery, don't have homosexual sex), but positively as what it is, so it doesn't require a direct command to mean that some perversion of it is sinful.
not sure, but i thought in... song of solomon ...or something, describes a wife pleasing her husband in some pretty crazy ways... mark driscoll addressed this in his pamphlet "porn again christian"
I don't think there is, but I'm not a Christian and I've never read the Bible all the way through. So, maybe there is and I just don't know.
However, I do know that most BDSM is not about what it looks like its about it. Its actually more about trust. That doesn't mean there aren't people who take advantage of that and don't use BDSM the way it should be used. But, you get people who misuse or abuse anything people do. :(
I'm not into BDSM, myself, and I don't know anyone who actually is part of that lifestyle, but I do know people who have done amateur research on the subject just out of curiosity. :p
I don't, however, know anyone who has looked into whether or not it is considered alright by the Christian faith as per whether the Bible says its wrong or not.
I don't think I've ever heard anything saying it is, but then again it does sound like the type of thing that you'd find in the Bible to be unacceptable, doesn't it? :/
Not for I. If anyone has read on Bob Flanagan though, you can see how helpful things like pain through sexual gratification can be towards healing. In that respect, perhaps I could see some ties to religion. Or at least spirituality.
@rusty0505@xanga - Interesting that you break that book up, what did you think of it? I thought it was quite good personally.
I don't think anything is NOT permissible in the marriage bed, as long as both husband and wife are consenting of it. I think I will include a section on BDSM in my upcoming book A Virgin's guide to the best sex ever, yeah I just plugged a book I'm writing!
I think that the laws written in the bible were given for reasons...like not having sex with a woman while she is having her time of month because it is impure. It is just like why it is said not to eat from a pig, and now we understand the reason behind that is because of the toxins the meat contains because they do not sweat them out and therefore enter our bodies and are not beneficial.
Personally, I think that it is a decision between the married couple. If they want to do certain things then that is their conviction. As long as it is in love and not out of personal gain or selfish desire then I would have to say it is okay with me.
@KatherintheSky@xanga - Amen, I agree.
@SirNickDon@xanga - haha..foliage. Nice one.
@fugita@xanga - How would sex for pleasure be a sin? God made pleasure and he wants us to indulge in it as long as it is within his guidelines (being within the covenant of marriage). Anyone who says sex is a sin has clearly not read Song of Solomon or thought about the fact that God made those pleasure points and wouldn't have if he didn't intend for us to use them.
@Vampira_tx@xanga - hahah you have not see the people who talk about sex only being for procreation and should not be enjoyed, have you?
@fugita@xanga - Haha no, but Dang....I hope I dont accidently end up marrying one of them lol. All I can say is that that is a pathetic existence. I think sex rejuvenates a marriage and allows for a kind of intimacy that is unknown in any other relationship, especially if you are enjoying it like God intended. lol.
If it is safe, sane, and consensual (the first rule of BDSM) and both partners are happy in the relationship, what they do in the bedroom is their business.
@Vampira_tx@xanga - One would hope you'd thoroughly discuss such matters long before any thought of marriage proposal, but then, I suppose many Christians don't think to do that...
@KatherintheSky@xanga - I don't think you quite understand BDSM. Lashing out in anger is very much frowned down upon and if someone belongs to a community or club it is also the quickest way to get kicked out. It is more about control and trust on the part of both partners. Most subs feel protected by doms and the safety and well-being of the sub is top priority for doms. Despite what it appears to be on the surface there is equality as both partners get what they need out of the relationship.
The Bible also mentions that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband...but I know I am taking that one out of context...
@Vampira_tx@xanga - lol... right!! I mean what is the point of sex only once to have a kid lights off missionary and don't you dare enjoy it cause that would be wrong! lol... if that is what it takes to get into heaven then.. hell here I come! lol
@myfanwe@xanga - Luckily I was joking....
@fugita@xanga - I bet there is an exception to that belief for males, as it would probably be hard for them not to "enjoy" it. As for the female...i feel very sorry for her. Anyway, we are blessed to have a God who delights in our pleasure and his and created us to find pleasure in this earth, through sights, smells, sounds, and touch. He is good.
@SirNickDon@xanga - @ToastersNMilkshakes@xanga - You two jerks are a complete disappointment.
BSDM is a form of violent abuse.
Confusing violence and abuse with pleasure is a sure sign of mental illness. BSDM indicates psychopathology.
BSDM may not be a sin because it is a mental illness but it is a sickness that needs to be cured, nonetheless.
Violence and abuse have no place in the marriage bed.
@LoBornlyte@xanga - so just because someone else enjoying being spanked during sex or tied up they have a mental illness? Nice one...
@Vampira_tx@xanga - See there is always someone who wants to judge others based on what they enjoy instead of just letting them enjoy. I mean if it doesn't involve you or hurt those involved *since they want to do it I can't see why anyone would want to stop them*. But I am sure you understand. There will always be those who want to judge and control the actions of others. Sad but true!