Sunday, 06 December 2009
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Relationship or Religion: Why Not Both?
Christian or not, I’m sure we are all familiar with the catch phrase, “It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship." I’m sure I must have used that line at some point in high school youth group to describe Christianity, but generally speaking, I have always thought the phrase was a bit confusing. I think my first clue was the blank stare most people would give when the phrase was thrown at them.But I’ve come to a conclusion: I am religious. What is my religion? Christianity. Now before all of you emergent Church attending contemporary progressive Jesus followers start feeling too sorry for me, hear me out.
I’ve tried to put myself in the non-believer's shoes and attempted to make sense of the phrase. Not a religion, a relationship, you say? Oh okay… so does Jesus come and watch football with you and make some wise cracks about something funny He saw on the bus? Does Jesus ask you to grab Him a soda out of the fridge, since you happen to be going to the kitchen? Does Jesus “like” your status on Facebook? Did Jesus take you out to lunch for your birthday? Does Jesus give you a ride to the airport? No? Oh. The relationship is based on faith. But it is not religion?
Let me clarify a few things. I don’t mean to suggest that you can only have a relationship with someone if you sit in the same room and crack jokes, and I am not suggesting that your average non-Christians thinks that way either. And I totally understand the attempt to communicate that true Christianity isn’t based on a superficial commitment to rules and rituals. We need to distinguish between ritualistic appeasing of mystical beings from true worship of the sovereign God who loves us, knows us, and took action to redeem us.
But as I understand it, the purpose of the whole “relationship not religion” presentation is to make Christianity relevant using the familiarity of human relationships as opposed to routine piety. Sounds great, but I think this is faulty and misleading. Our relationship with God is drastically different from the relationships society is familiar with. It is based on faith. It involves observance of a deity. It is religious.
So why is saying “it’s a relationship” any more appealing than saying “it’s a religion”? Are we ashamed that our faith is just that -- faith?
Although, when used in certain contexts, the term “religion” may have the stigma of man made legalism,that is not how the word is generally used. Here are some definitions of the word as found in Dictionary.com, which I have found to reflect the most common contemporary use of the word:
1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4. the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
5. something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.
6. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
As far as I can tell, it is us Christians who insist that “religion” connotes salvation dependent on works alone. But if that’s not how people use it, why do we try to force it? The only reason I can think of is to create an opportunity for a trendy little catch phrase. Let's come back down to earth and just admit that Christianity is a religion. It is both religion and relationship. I am confident that the world will see that it is not just another religion, and we don't need to play word games to make that happen.
Yes Christianity is about our relationship with Christ, but that relationship is very religious. Without religion, there is no relationship. At the core of our religion is a relationship with our Creator, Savior, and Lord. But the very fact that we believe we have a relationship with an Almighty Eternal God makes it religious. What's more, if we take seriously our relationship with God, we will live religious lives, regardless of what we like to call it.
If our relationship with Christ is real, we will be religious.
When Christ works in our lives to transform us into who He wants us to be, we are religious. When we die to ourselves and take up our cross to follow Him, we are religious. When we resist temptation, we are religious. When we hide God’s word in our hearts, we are religious. When we pray, when we tithe, when we fellowship, when we worship, that is all religion, and it is all the outworking of Christ dwelling within. The difference between true Christian religion and empty religion is empty religion happens when we do all of those religious things apart from recognizing God’s grace as given through Christ.
Christianity is a religion and a relationship. What is so bad about that?
Do you agree with this conclusion? Do you believe you have a religion, a relationship, or both?
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About the Author
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- From: subSacred@xanga
- About Me: This is a personal spiritual journal in which I will be exploring God, myself, the Church, and how the three interrelate. - - 1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. - - When we fail to love one another, we are hiding God from the world.
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Comments (19)
My contemporary progressive attention span is far too short to read any of this.
I agree with you, though I've heard the phrase "Christianity is more than just a religion, it's a relationship" more often than "Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship". To me, the first one means it is a religion, but it's also MORE than JUST that. We have a relational aspect as well. I say the first one when trying to explain the concept. So, therefore, to directly answer your question, I believe it's both religion and relationship.
Your title grabbed my attention because I've had a post in my mind about religion for awhile, which I'll probably never write. You came at it from a slightly different angle, but I agree with what you're saying.
I have often wondered when "religion" became taboo in the Christian community, when it became religious vs. spiritual instead of carnal vs. spiritual. When I read old Christian writings, they very freely used the word religion for the Christian life. Today, I hear people pray to "free us from religion" and I cringe. The word religion is used very few times in the Bible, and the most prominent in my mind is the one that says what pure religion before God is: To visit the fatherless and the widows, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. So I have prayed rather that God would protect HIS religion in me, but to free me from any religion that's of my own making.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
I had to do a survey for a class about religious beliefs and backgrounds. I sent a message out in the daily announcements asking people to respond to a few questions. One of them was "What is your religious preference?" I had somewhere around 75 responses out of 100 that said "ITS A RELATIONSHIP NOT A RELIGION!!!" or some other form. It was kind of amusing.
I agree with you. I think this sort of rhetoric is indeed misleading. I'd go so far as to say it's harmful.
AMEN!!
Great post, subSacred! I absolutely agree. I used to be one of those Christians who always stressed that "it's not religion, it's a relationship." But after looking back at the Bible, I noticed a couple of things: 1) in the Old Testament, God (who always pursued a love relationship with his people) was really specific about how they were to walk out their relationship with him; 2) He (not they) established the ceremonies and rituals within the relationship.
Also, keep in mind that Jesus was a good Jew - he gladly participated in all the ceremonies and rituals as part of worship. Now, if anybody understood grace and relationship (not to mention what God likes and doesn't like), it was Jesus.
Even our modern relationships have ceremony (weddings, graduations, funerals - all of these involve relationships) and rituals (honeymoons, anniversaries, birthdays - again, involves relationships).
Cudos to you, my friend!
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed
upon by a number of persons
People may be Christians but don't agree with the vast majority of crazies that go to church. Therefore, they don't call themselves "religious."
"If our relationship with Christ is real, we will be religious." - exactly how I've always felt. I've never understood why so many people shy away from describing themselves as religious.
@DrugInducedDuck@xanga - Sorry. I will try and make a condensed version sometime.
@ashleyannaka@xanga - I don't have a problem with "Christianity is more than just a religion, it's a relationship", although I would probably never use those words myself, at least not until I have talked to someone about Christianity in depth already. My thing is I feel as though I am being a salesperson or even insulting someone's intelligence if I try to downplay the obvious religious factor of Christianity with hype about it being a relationship.
Although I certainly believe that it is both religion and relationship, if I had to use only one of those words I would use religion, it is far less misleading.
@deyoderized@xanga - Christianity has always been thought of as a religion, and there is no reason why it shouldn't . What sets Christianity apart from other faiths isn't that it's not a religion, but rather how it works as a religion.
@sierrraa@xanga - aw, so they renounced religion so they could spend more time with their boyfriends/girlfriends. How sweet.
@canicus@xanga - What Christians tend to forget is that the relationship aspect of Christianity is far more abstract then we'd like to admit. And there are so many ideas that people get about their relationship with Christ. Maybe some of us read our Bibles or pray and then we feel warm fuzzies so we liken it to Jesus giving us a hug or something and we assume that is something everyone will experience and catch on to. But what if you don't? Does this mean Jesus broke up with you or is taking some time off? Often times Christianity will seem like a one sided relationship, and it is religion that keeps us going.
@sacredfly@xanga - yep, Jesus was pretty religious. If we are to be like Jesus we ought to be religious.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga -
- - a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed
upon by a number of persons - -
People may be Christians but don't agree
with the vast majority of crazies that go to church. Therefore, they
don't call themselves "religious."
But what don't they agree with? If someone doesn't agree upon the fundamental beliefs of Christianity, they can't possibly be Christians.
But don't get me wrong , I think I get what you mean. For me, whenever Christians do something embarrassing and it gets a lot of public attention, I'm not too quick to say "hey, I'm part of that religion!"
@ramblesofalison@xanga - A Christian guy I barely know was talking to an nonChristian girl the other day, I guess she asked him if he was religious. He told her "no, I'm a Christian", to which she expressed great confusion. She's no stranger to the world of Christianity. So with a smirk on his face he called me over and asked me "do you think of yourself as religious?" I said "yes". I think he thought he was setting up a great play and I was about to spike it in for him. But I didn't. He was a bit disappointed.
@subSacred@xanga - For example some Christians may believe you can't wear revealing clothing. Some Christians may believe being gay is a sin, while a different christian church is busy marrying a gay couple.
Should all Christians be on the same page? I think there is wide room for interpretation because everyone may interpret what Christ meant differently. Being Christian just means you are a follower of Christ... but what it means to be a follower of Christ probably varies a lot individually.
I really like this post.
I have always disagreed with people who use that phrase, because I like having a religion.
I also like my relationship with Christ.
Your conclusion is logical, but I believe that to describe genuine relationship with God as a religion still brings misconception to the reality. The word "religion" came into being as a 13th century paraphrase of James 1:26 and is otherwise used for Judaism in more of a negative context in Acts 26:5 and Gal. 1:13. Today the word brings to mind the thousands of sects created from unregenerated man's attempt to appear pious and appease an impersonal god through ritual and other dead works. Unfortunately, Christianity in many cases can fit into that category quite nicely. More than half of all Christians today believe that Jesus is not the only way, a much larger percentage than that admit that they lack an intimate relationship with God, a larger percentage still think that church is an event you attend rather than a vital community of believers who function in the "one anothers" all week long. Most Christians seperate secular from sacred and many treat prayer, worship and giving as a ritual rather than a lifestyle. So Christianity as a system of religious obligation that substitutes ritual for relationship is definitely a religion. But genuine relationship with God through Jesus Christ can be defined as relationship in every aspect of its nature.
Okay, can anyone tell me how can one justify that true Christianity should be a relationship but not a religion? And what will happen if Christianity somehow loses its religiousity?
I think one of the big causes of this statement is the current trend of hatred towards anything formal. The word religion smacks of formality and (dare I say it?) routine. Formality and routine are boring; we need something spontaneous. A relationship sounds so much nicer. A relationship implies a freedom from rules and regularity. A line from the popular book The Shack comes to mind, said as the three persons of the Trinity are sitting down for dinner. "Nothing is ritual with us." We need a conception of Christianity that avoids ritual, because ritual is now associated with a lack of sincerity, of just going through the motions, and most importantly, with boredom.
eventhough I only read the first 2 lines, and agreed with the first post that the topic is quite too large to read, (and my reply is nearly as large, so I'd understand if you never ever read it fully); I'd have to agree with some other comments:
If you think your religion is christianity, well good luck following that religion!
A religion has nothing to do with God. It is an organization meant to point towards God, but there's a difference between an organization and it's individuals.
(BTW: About football:If you try to fill your time with earthly things, they will distract you from seeking to know more about Christ, or have that 'relationship' people are talking about!)
If you'd ask me, I do also have my distractions, I'm not perfect, but a relationship with Jesus is not about good jokes. It's about learning the true meaning of life! The life God gave us!
It's about discovering God's character in all we see happening around us!
It's about being like God, and you can't be like God (like a son is like his father), unless you spend time WITH God learning to know Him!
Spending time with God will reveal you, that nomatter where you go, in a baptist, catholic, pentecostal, or whatever church, you as an individual are there first and foremost to learn about God, and to be given the opportunity to learn to know God through worship and teaching!
A denomination is just a daughter of religion, a system set by man to identify something.
But truly, you (as an organization) can be a catholic, and still teach gay, or allow child molestation!
You (as an organization) can be a pentacostal, and still teach new age stuff, and be demonically possessed.
You can be a baptist and still be a radical, teaching a wrong view on the word, having no relationship with God!
That's why denominations, or religion, matters nothing!
Amongst those who called themselves 'christians', where the catholic church, who persecuted those who lived for christ, and tortured and burned them.
Amongst the christians are those who go on the streets preaching that abortion is wrong (which is good), and that God hates sinners (which is wrong), and that all will go to hell...
You see? If you are talking about a relationship with Christ, it has nothing to do with all of that, for you're either having, or not having fellowship with Jesus.
And many lie saying they do... But the core of the issue is not following an organization with a good reputation. It is about God, you, and your fellow human beings.
@ProDigit - If you think your religion is christianity, well good luck following that religion!
A
religion has nothing to do with God. It is an organization meant to
point towards God, but there's a difference between an organization and
it's individuals.
Although I see your point, your point relies on your definition of religion. What led me to writing this post was numerous conversations with nonChristians who did not define religion an organization but rather a life of faith and the characteristic practices that accompany it. From my observations, in order to convince most thinking people that Christianity isn't a religion, you have to first convince them that religion is something other than that- but why do that if someone's concept of religion is already compatible with Christianity?
Also, you should read more than the first two lines before leaving such long comments. ;)
@subSacred@xanga - Indeed I should, and if I had the time I would!
I love to hang out and read people's ideas and questions, but I find
myself often skipping the longest parts due to wanting to do much in a
small time.
I doubt that christianity is been seen by unbelievers as a way of life, but rather as an unnecessary burden of traditional values or weights.
I think a relationship with Jesus, the son of God, is much more understandable to an unbeliever, than Christianity. Unless if they see Christianity as some charity organization.
@ProDigit - well again, if you read the entire post you'd have a better idea of what I was saying. You didn't, so you don't.