After an unwanted and stressful encounter, a friend finally regained composure and expressed a sense of acceptance saying, "Well, I guess everything happens for a reason."
That was the second time I'd heard that phrase this week. So this time I asked, "For what reason?"
He struggled to accept the validity question. For to say, "Everything happens for a reason," is supposed to be the period, the final punctuation, on a typically bad situation. When we can finally say this, we have reached the point of maturity, it is assumed. Nothing more can be known until the future unfolds and we can look back with 20/20 vision.
Certainly, it is good to "accept the things we cannot change," as the serenity prayer guides us, but that's different than saying the thing we cannot change (a part of "everything") has a purpose. Our future actions beyond the thing that just happened for a reason are dependent upon what we believe that reason is.
Ultimately, I find it uninteresting and unhelpful to stop at the statement, "Everything happens for a reason." It is much more revealing (and fun) to discuss what that reason/purpose might be. For example, my friend tried to explain to me that I met my fiancée so that we'd get married. Feeling ornery, I annoyingly said, "No, we did not meet to get married. We met because one day I want to own goat and she'll be the one to own it with me. We have not reached our fate until that comes to pass. Marriage is simply a way to keep her around until then."
What we believe the purpose of a thing is will guide our future actions beyond that thing. If we believe the car crash happened so that we could learn to rely on God more, then we'll attempt to rely on God more. If we believe the car crash happened so that we could get a new car, then we'll get a new car. If we believe the car crash happened so that we'd be forced to a see and doctor and find out we have cancer, then the purpose has already been accomplished.
And this may be exactly why we don't ask the follow up question too often. It is impossible for us to know the exact purpose of each thing that happens in life, if there even is one. Virtue, in this case, is simply trusting that something out there has something good in mind.
I respond in an ornery way to this phrase, in fact, not because I don't believe we can't know the intended purpose of things, but because I simply don't believe "everything" has an intended purpose. I believe crap happens. I don't believe God operates in Scripture according to the ethical stance of "the ends justify the means." "This this bad thing happened
so that I could learn ______."
Instead, I believe we can learn from everything, but I can't believe that our learning (or whatever outcome their might be) was the purpose of the event in the first place. I believe that God makes good come from bad, through his grace, but not that the bad was put in place so that good could be learned.
What do you think? Does everything happen for a reason? Do you use this phrase? If so, what types of reasons are worth considering?
Comments (20)
I think things happen for the reason that we learn from them or better things come after that
That's a fun way to critique the folk wisdom.
I think things happen for a reason and that's because I've seen situations that I thought couldn't get any worse turn out for the better in the long run. It is a way of looking at things...cup half full, I guess. I don't really say it in a religious way, I just say it because I feel like I can find the good in most situations.
This post combats determinism in a non-confrontational way. Excellent work.
And interestingly, there was an ad that included a goat accompanying this post.
I think it's a coping mechanism. I agree with your conclusion.
Good conclusion. Too often people take this phrase as actually being "God makes everything happen for a reason"and that simply isn't the case.
Where there is design, there is purpose. If there were no inherent purpose in what we do, we would not notice the different between good and bad events.
Just looking out at the world around us we see how well ordered it is. The shape of clouds and ocean waves indicates that at every single second something uniquely beautiful comes into existence, dissipates and then reforms.
Without design or purpose our universe would be an incoherent mess, a catastrophe.
This is also true of our lives. Human beings have the power to design and give unique purpose to their lives. Since we live in a universe that has a huge chaotic quality to it, people are subjected to events that become obstacles to the purpose they have picked for themselves.
When we create value out of a situation it happened for a reason. When we fail to do so it's a wasted opportunity but don't worry. The opportunity will come again and again and again until we get it right. There is a reason for everything and there is no such thing as mere coincidence. When someone calls out of the blue when you were just thinking about him or her, do you really think that was a coincidence?
I believe so. It's the only thought that is keeping my sane, though my heart is in so much pain.
hmm i know where you're coming from but i'll just say this "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son..."
while I'm not sure God purposefully brings certain things to pass in our lives (honestly, I think we do make mistakes and the enemy wreaks his own havoc), I do believe He can use ALL those things for the reason of conforming us to the likeness of His Son.
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I believe that God makes good come from bad, through his grace, but not
that the bad was put in place so that good could be learned.
I agree. James 1:13-14
completely agree. :] i don't believe everything has a reason behind it (although some things do!) and if you search for the meanings and you find them, that's great, but also sometimes i think it's better to just move forward. if you spend your whole life trying to figure out the reason one thing happened, you'll waste the time you could have been living.
@TheSutraDude@xanga - "... there is no such thing as mere coincidence."
I agree. We are definitely here for a reason, and the universe was created by a Father who's nature is Love, by a God who is involved, is close, and cares. I probably say this too much, but God is not arbitrary, and nothing is just random.
@monobeam@xanga - Well said.
@LoBornlyte@xanga - wow. excellent use of words.
@SirNickDon@xanga - having fun is the tenth fruit of the Spirit.
@LauraG0929@xanga - I hear you. Good can come from bad, but I don't believe the bad had to happen in order for the good to happen. God's grace is not empty if evil is one day destroyed.
@barefoot_nomad@xanga - HA! I didn't see the goat ad. Did you buy it?@LoBornlyte@xanga - And design has been flawed, not by God, but by our sin. Creation also yearns for redemption, because it is out of whack, not operating in its creational design.
@toyouxwithlove@xanga - I pray God's love becomes the source of your sanity, not a false understanding of the way things work. Blessings to you.
@Svehwa@xanga - I agree with your final statement, indeed.
@soy_esteban@xanga - And design has been flawed, not by God, but by our sin. Creation also yearns for redemption, because it is out of whack, not operating in its creational design.
OH PLEASE!! This is a non-sequitor. How can sin go against the design of God? It can't. Therefore you are a ninny spouting error.
Go back to the drawing board.
@LoBornlyte@xanga - "How can sin go against the design of God? It can't."
Are you a Pelagian? You know he's a heretic, right? Sin is not in God's original design for humankind. St. Augustine made this pretty clear.
@soy_esteban@xanga - Sin is not in God's original design for humankind. St. Augustine made this pretty clear.
But God's will be done inspite of sin. It's as simple as that. Sin comes from man, not God.
But from our level, we create our own purpose. And if we are ordered to God his purpose and our purpose will coincide.