Wow, this is a recurrent theme in my life lately.  I had recently been experiencing something like this with my significant other, which eventually left me literally crying in the fetal position on the bedroom floor.  When I finally realized that controlling the situation was not my job, to give it to God, the weight was lifted, I felt at peace, we both seemingly out of nowhere felt better about our lives and ourselves, and our relationship has improved drastically.  It's so amazing to see what God can actually do with your life when you let Him. 

"When we try to control our lives instead of submitting our cares to God, our sense of control is fleeting. Deep down, you know that you don’t really have control. Unlike God, you don’t have the power to orchestrate all things for good in your life. You can’t anticipate how everyone will treat you and what unexpected life circumstances will transpire. That’s why being in control of your life is the most terrifying place to be."

Even without god, you're never really in charge of your life. I'm an Atheist, and I know that certain things lie outside of my control. This is called accepting reality. However, there ARE things I can control: my behavior, my attitudes, my values, my beliefs .. And that's where I exert my power. This is where I can affect the outcomes of a situation.

So yeah. I suppose where you see a need to submit to God, I see a need to accept reality and do your best to succeed in life when and how you can.

I very much like this article, however, I have one qualm...making food while driving is extremely dangerous. It is on par with texting or doing make-up while driving. You can google and find that there are more and more accidents out there from similar things. I wouldn't recommend sitting quietly by while he makes his lunch. It's not safe for him, you, other drivers or pedestrians. I'm totally not trying to sound like I know better or anything but it does happen...Driving requires both hands -and- the brain. But great article aside from that! These are things I need to keep in mind as my relationship with my boyfriend becomes more serious and if it should reach the next level. 

First of all congratulations on getting married!

why the hell don't you just drive?

"That’s why being in control of your life is the most terrifying place to be. It places a tremendous burden on your shoulders that you were never meant to bear, and it sets you up for disappointment"

This sentence resumes for me, in entirety, why I dislike Christianity.  It seems to me like "the perfect Christian wife" is one who does not step up to responsibilities, who gives up her courage and willingness to learn, and who cringes before a challenge, merely because there is a man to do it for her.  There has just GOT to be a better way than that, no?  And no, I'm not advocating the subjugation of men either, for the record.  I just think that quashing your own abilities and control is NOT the solution.

I'm not trying to be mean or overly critical of you.  I respect your opinions and wish not to insult you or your views... but I'm just... completely and sincerely saddened that you have decided to relinquish any faith in YOURSELF to improve, (either to better your driving or your communication skills with your husband) and learn in the face of adversity.  Instead, you choose to surrender your potential to someone else, who has nevertheless learned to deal with fear and challenging situations.  Instead of leaving it all up to your hubby, why do you not just learn from him instead, since he does have more experience?  Why do you not find a balanced approach, instead of giving up entirely?

I'm sorry, but it's not just a man's duty to learn how to deal with adversity, even with such trivial things as driving.  Life is scary, and can't always be controlled... but put a little more faith in yourself as well as your god and your husband, seriously.  You can deal, you can learn, and you can thrive despite fear and tense situations.  Disappointment is part of a learning process in life that it is incredibly unrealistic to try and avoid.  Dealing with all of these things is what shapes your confidence as a person, through experience.  I'm sure your husband has done this and become a good, well-rounded person.  So why don't you think you deserve that kind of strength, too?  Wouldn't it be beneficial also for your husband and "God" to know that you're a person who can be strong and dependable?  Your need for control might be a little over the top, but the solution is not to give it up entirely.  Find a better way, please.  Life is tough, but handing the reigns to someone else is just cowardly and somewhat saddeningly immature.  I'm sure you're a great woman with a lot to contribute... so don't take that road, pardon the pun. 

Dont' shortchange your ability to grow, learn and deal.  Work on bettering yourself, instead. 

@nimbusthedragon@xanga - I don't think that the feminism is the thing to pay attention to here. It just so happens that the person she shares a car most with is her husband, so it's easiest to realize these things. You're more likely to realize the way you compare to your spouse than say your friend you only drive with once in a while.

Also, it's not like she said that he's a better driver and that she's straight up terrible and has accidents or anything else that really sets you up for being a genuinely poor driver.

The whole point is that although sometimes you seem very capable of handling something, it's sometimes better to surrender. She got ambitious and tried to drive to Chicago, and though she can handle a car, it got to be overwhelming. It's not pure submission and self-deprecation.

Also, it's just driving a car, lol. This doesn't stand for every aspect of her life. Really, when you love someone and you KNOW they can do something better than you, I'd rather let them do it. Especially when you're married and you're supposed to share all of your problems and joys. Marriage is a lot about complementing each other. Often times you find that your partner makes up for the things you lack, and out of love you'll want them to help you. In their love, they'll be glad to help you with your shortcomings. A person can be independent and still need help. We're human, we can't do EVERYTHING alone. It's not surrendering her free will to her husband. The focus here is trusting her husband and his ability to help her.

 As humans we need help amongst ourselves. Imagine help from God, who knows you inside out and who wants nothing but to help you. I really loved this post. It was a great example of how we sometimes forget that we need to ask God for help. It happens to everyone. Sometimes I try to take matters into my own hands, with catastrophic results. It's at that point where I surrender all control to God and ask him to do His will in my life, and it's after this that I finally gain peace. Things don't magically get better all the time, that's not what I'm implying. But God is the ultimate counselor and Father and if you know you're weak and need His help, He's happy to give you wisdom and help, just like a spouse is willing to help if you need them.

k my only comment is that it really shouldn't be emasculating to be asked why you're turning this way or that. That's just really conceited and hypersensitive. That is all.

@togodsownglory@xanga - disagree. to the max. that is, i disagree that husbands should be seen as "authorities" over wives or that god "said so". i do agree with you that if you can't respect any legitimate authority figures, you can't respect god.

@TrumvilleOrbison@xanga - 
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Ephesians 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Ephesians 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

So, is God's word enough reason? Wives ARE to subject themselves to the (godly) authority of their husbands. If he asks something ungodly, then all bets are off, but otherwise, follow the lead of the God authorized head of the family, and trust him to love you enough that he would rather die for you than hurt you, and will not abuse his authority TO harm you. Do you trust your husband? Then quit trying to cut down his God-given duty to direct the family, INCLUDING his beloved wife.

No coach tells his players to play a play that will hurt them, IF he cares for his players. His players know if he cares for them, and trust in that care. How much more should a godly wife trust God's will and His and her husband's love.

@TrumvilleOrbison@xanga - Since you won't take the honest opinion of a good and godly man who served God more than any other excepting Jesus, and thereby dismiss 2/3 of the new Testament, How about we up the score, and wipe Saint Peter off the list of available sources, too? Then we only have to deal with 4 Gospels, Acts, James, John, Revelation, and Jude, which do not directly tell women that they have a godly place of high esteem. Don't try to just be another guy with extra estrogen. God has a place for you - holding the arms of his warrior. You are Hur, who with Aaron, held up Moses' hands during Joshua's fighting. You are the one who comforts and strengthens God's warrior for your house. Don't be less than that.

Anyway, here's Saint Peter's take. I guess it's HIS turn to be cut out. I CERTAINLY hope you're not Catholic. That could prove a problem for your feminism. (Sidenote: how many Catholic feminists are there, and HOW?)

1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1 Peter 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1 Peter 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1 Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1 Peter 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Now that we've eliminated both Peter and Paul as reliable witnesses to women's godly role as under the husband's authority, shall we try for maybe Jesus? He called a woman a dog. I'm sure that won't fly.

Yeah, I guess I am a bit gruff when it comes to someone insulting not ONE, but TWO of the greatest men of all history, calling their written and CANNONIZED words useless.

Too bad.

Funny post,has many resemblences in my marriage!
Yet, perhaps I'll respond like many men would say, "couldn't you write the article a bit shorter?".
I understood the point though, yes, it's hard to trust someone; but it's even harder to trust someone who you know does things worse than yourself.
So if you drive worse than your husband, know it'll be harder for him to trust you, than for you to trust him. ,
And congradulations on your third month! We're in it for 2,5 year now, and still not regretting it!

@flimflam - I'm sorry.  ... but I guess you drive the point home.  I'm terribly sorry this happened to you.