If you're a Christian, you have to believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died for our sins, and live a life serving God and glorifying Him, following his commandments. Going to church is for fellowship and accountability, and reading the Bible is important too, of course. So just believing in God isn't enough--even Satan and his demons believe in God.

The problems the OP cites with religion are ones caused by cognitive dissonance.  That is, a great deal of what was taught to him as religion was unreasonable.  As the OP grew older and his powers of reason increased, there appeared grievous contradictions between reality and what he was taught.

God revealed himself fully to mankind through his Son, Jesus.  One must understand the story of that Revelation in order to make sense of God.

God was very specific in his Revelation to man.  He began with a tribe of people called Hebrews that actually exist in history.

By being specific and historical with his Revelation God has made our faculty of reason the doorway to approaching him.

Paul tells us the human mind is hostile to God (Rom. 8:7), so in our own unregenerate nature, we cannot believe in God as much as we might try. We may have an intellectual belief, but that is not enough. We are born dead in our sins and transgressions (see Eph. 2). That's why Jesus says that we must be born again (see John 3).

John 1:12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he
gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of
blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

Notice there we are born of the will of God. Only then can we receive Him and believe in Him.

Regarding Church...if we are born into God's family, we should want to spend time w/ the family (see I John). Also, God has intended the Body of Christ to be a place where we can serve Him and support one another.

You know this is a really hard subject so thanks for being vulnerable and writing a post about it. 

I was raised Baptist (the born again type) and yet I was raised also in a University environment where there was a lot of comfortableness with scientific questioning. 

At age 19 I was nearly sucked into a VERY popular conservative Christian cult but they turned me off by having ALL the answers whereas my professors were quick to say that they didnt have all the answers.  (I narrowly escaped).

Then after 31 years of the small Baptist church (which was sort of liberal by Baptist standards) I worked as a part-time secretary there for the church and saw total and absolute hypocrisy by the pastor which rather astonished me even though I was in my late 30's.  The rest of the church was completely blind to it all.

I saw what a huge tool money was in the church and I didnt like it.  I saw abuse of power, judgementalism and materialism that I will never be able to forget.  I'm still trying to forgive.

So I left and now attend (because I like to) a United Methodist church.  I like the hymns, I try not to get involved with the gossip or church politics.  I no longer have the expectation that anyone in church is actually doing what any of us are supposed to be doing.

My husband is Catholic and I've let my kids be officially Catholic.  I may one day convert to Catholic myself but for the time being I like the United Methodist Church.  They talk a lot about helping the poor and some of them even make some real effort to do so.  I think that's a pretty good aspect about it and so I've learned to get over things like infant baptism (those sort of things used to bother me but now I see them as a sort of sideline thing).

I dont agree with everything though, never have.  My ideas about current key religious issues are well and beyond most churches (perhaps not the Unitarians). Abortion is okay and even necessary to me.  I'm completely convinced that gays and lesbians are leading natural lives and in my understanding God has no problem at all with alternative lifestyles.  

I think it's enough not to go to church, I think it's just fine to take a long break from church.  I dont really believe you need a church to be a spiritual being. 

Treat yourself well, treat others well.  That's enough.  You may be better off in the end rather than in a church filled with anger and hate. 

Shalom.

@schallerbrandon@xanga - I have no doubt that in your mind you are correct, but this is misleading. You should have written "The Holy Bible."

No I shouldn't have. I said exactly what I meant to say.

You are fideist (faith only).  For the fideist, reason has no place.  Divorcing faith from reason creates religious fanaticism and consequently a faith that is ineffectual.

For us to develop faith, it must make sense.  All questions must be answered.  Consequently both the disciple and the convert must reason out the principles of their faith.

@LoBornlyte@xanga - one cannot go on reason alone. 
Yes, reason is important as it helps to solidify our understanding of our faith, and also since God's Spirit will always teach us and guide us to truth and He is the author of all Wisdom, and therefore will always communicate in reason. HOWEVER, there are many who use rationality to oppose the existence of God and the Christian faith in particular. such as how can you believe in miracles? they are inprobable, and therefore the stories in the bible never happened. there are logical natural explanations for everything etc. There is no point debating and argueing all the time, since you cannot prove nor disprove the existence of god using reason alone. most of the time it is best to speak less and love more. Reasoning is a must for a Christian, especially in this post-modern society with religious pluralism in order to stand firm in truth and to be able to give a defense for the reason they believe. but it is not enough.

"Blaise Pascal, a religious thinker, believed that, in the search for truth, reason was neutral. A rational proof of God, or Christianity, would never displace the gift of faith. 'We come to know truth not only by reason, but still more so through out hearts.'"

@niez_cho@xanga - It is true, and very sad at the differences some of the denominations that are out there, and I believe that your concerns are very legit. Many "Christians" have come in the name of God, yet speak from the mouth of the devil who is the father of all lies. It is difficult, However one who is truly Christian and saved, and genuinely seeking God can have confidence in God who gives the power of the Holy Spirit that will guide us to truth about Him. 
The sad thing is that not everyone who associates themselves with Christianity actually are Christians. But they are human. And as being human, we are all in a fallen state of being, and thus our interpretation of God and his Words are fallible, meaning imperfect and often we make mistakes. Clearly wars and battles have occured because of differences, but one of the best ways to see if a church is legit, is in the way they love and forgive, and show mercy and grace.
Also forget about denominations, but look to God, as we can only know truth from what He reveals to us. thus we need to look at the truth found in the bible and look to the person of Jesus. Also don't doubt the power of praying, and reading his word, and revelation given by his Spirit.
Look for biblical, godly people who can teach you. Who are concerned with the essentials of who God is, who we are in relation to Him, the person of Jesus Christ and salvation, Find these things, and get plug into a bible saturated community, and you will do well.

Hope you will find the way, the truth, and the life. please feel free to ask any further questions.
Paul

I think God wants you to go to church but you don't have to go to be a
Christian. Just keep praying and ask him to help you find a good
church. You may have to visit different churches before you feel
comfortable in one. As for believing, that depends. I don't think just
believing makes you a Christian. The bible says that even the devils
believe. So, it depends what you believe. Do you believe that Jesus is
the Son of God, died for your sins, and rose again on the 3rd day? Do
you trust Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Those are good questions to
ask yourself.

@LoBornlyte@xanga - You are entirely wrong and place belief in mere suppositions. Faith is not a development, it is a gift from god. Read your text, not your mind, you are a finite human attempting to spar with the divine.

"Divorcing faith from reason creates religious fanaticism and consequently a faith that is ineffectual."

In what sense is fanaticism a bad thing? How is it ineffectual? You present answers without substance, of your own reasoning, which is infinitely inferior to the divine reasoning of god presented in the text.

You fail to see my reasoning. I have written in a post already, "read the text, it is divinely inspired from god." This is my reasoning. The questions in the bible are answered. Once again, you feint correctness, but present logical fallacies, human flaws, and poor conclusions.

@schallerbrandon@xanga - Faith most certainly is a development. Saying it is a gift from God does not negate the fact that it is a development. We develop faith over time. We do not simply wake up and know the mysteries of God. That would go against logic and the text.

Fanaticism and zealotry are the absolute worst extremes of faith. I will simply leave that statement at that. Fanaticism is bad only because it exists. I don't think I could be more plain.

Our faculty of reason is one of the most important gifts our Heavenly Father has given us and all faith is null without reason and logic. Agency and our ability to reason and choose. Our ability to understand the text. Text is useless without reason. We were not meant to blindly follow words in a book but rather God and Jesus intended for us to logically understand the words within so that we might have faith.

@gardenblogger@xanga - one cannot go on reason alone. 

I never said that, proposed that, or implied that.  In a mansion the doorway is small compared to the rest of the building.  Yet it is the way in.

Likewise, one enters the mansion of faith through the doorway of reason.

@schallerbrandon@xanga - In what sense is fanaticism a bad thing? How is it ineffectual?

Fanaticism circumvents the intellect and so also bypasses free will.  Since intellect and free will are what make us human (created in the image of God) fanaticism reduces us to a non-human state.

Since Christianity is all about being human, fanaticism is not only ineffectual but quite damaging.

You present answers without substance, of your own reasoning, which is infinitely inferior to the divine reasoning of god presented in the text.

A fanatic is unable to see reason so it is not surprising that you see reason as without substance.  How is one supposed to understand what he reads in the Bible if not through his own power of reason?  A human being does not have divine reasoning.  A human being must read the Bible with his own reasoning.

You debase reason while at the same time demanding that we use it to read the Bible.  That is a clear cut case of the type of irrationality characteristic of religious fanatics.

Believing in God is the first step. Learning about Him is the next. We do that through the Bible, and consider it the ultimate word and authority to guide our life's walk. There are other historical texts, that once you have the basics down, are fun to read and may give other insights into the political and cultural settings of the times, but the Bible is the main one.

Personal relationship with Jesus of Nazareth. Yep, necessary. Bible says so. No one can come to the Father but by me. Pretty plain. As for church? Jesus went to Temple, not only because it was His Father's house, but it was socially correct to do so. He tells us that where two or more are gathered in His name, there He will be also. What denomination was Jesus? Methodist? Mormon? Caotholic? Ummm...don't remember that He picked a specific branch, although we know he was born Jewish.

Personally, I find that walking through life wearing the rose colored glasses of a Christian is the way to go. Everything is filtered through those glasses of God. What would Jesus do? Sounds cliched, but it is correct. I read my Bible, try to keep the stories straight in my mind. Listen to Christian Radio stations a lot, not only for music but for Instruction. Stimulates thought. I give to charity through my church, of time and talents. I go to church occasionally, but am frustrated with the politics, power plays, greed, corruption, agendas, etc. Yet we are to participate in corporate worship, as well as individual. Corporate worship strengthens us.

People worship in different ways. I think of native American Indians, with their rituals and worship to the earth, sky, wind, and fire. That is their vision of God, in their worship they relate to God the best way they can, preserving their cultural values and ideals. Do we do any less?

Most things you grew up with as a child were taught you by your parents, including their visions of right and wrong. Whether dress, makeup, music, behaviors, whatever. You have to hope that they were at least somewhat mainstream and not too fanatical. Your Dad probably did the best he could, his heart was in the right place, teaching you what he believed. When you become an adult and can filter things for yourself, there will be some you keep, some you discard. Which is why many in their late teens/early 20's turn from the church, but most return when they marry, or especially when a child is coming. Then faith, rituals, beliefs, etc. form an anchor for our lives in an otherwise chaotic time. New spouses, new babies, probably a young career, perhaps your first house; those are fun yet traumatic times, and people need the anchor of stability that the church and its family can offer.