Couldn't save you from the start,Love you so it hurts my soul.-- "
Forgiven" by Within Temptation
I was thinking today. Big surprise, I know. This song was playing on my Zune. It's one of those songs that's so tragic, so beautiful, and so haunting that I can't help but cry when I hear it. I was fighting back tears while thinking about the lyrics. In a very round-about day dream, I came to a conclusion.
Love, in its purest form, is our way of protecting others.
Why do we love people? No one knows, really. Sometimes, it's 'given' that you have to love someone--your child, your sister, your father. You don't know why you love who you do; they have character flaws and, if you were anyone else, you would hate that person. But you're you, and you don't. It's almost genetically encoded into your brain that you love someone. But what does that love mean?
We're greatly aware that the world is a cruel place. God is probably laughing his ass off at us right now, and I can't say I blame him. We have a planet that we have overrun, resources that are fading, and we're all destroying each other. It seems like no matter how fiercely we combat this cruelty, it is overtaking all of us. There is no peace, only moments of hate-filled rest during bouts of chaos. How do we keep any sort of goodness in the world when we're attempting to tear one another to pieces?
It's fairly simple. Loving someone means that you have found a person that has struck you in some way that you want to protect them from this wretched world. You want to hide them away, deep inside your soul and keep them from harm. I know that when I look at my younger siblings, all I can think about is keeping them from being hurt. I want to ward off the bullies, the germs, the tears, the pain. When Frankenberry first told me of all the ways he'd been hurt by females in the past, I told him that I wanted to date him just so I could show him the way he should be treated. Essentially, I wanted to protect him because I loved him, if only platonically.
When you love someone, you hope that the love you express makes the person untouchable. "Nothing bad will ever happen to my wife because I love her." When someone is a victim of a crime, premature death, or anything foul, we are in disbelief. When our family member is murdered, we can't explain why it happened to us. "This only happens to a person living on the streets." Why do we think that? Because the people in our lives are loved, and our love should be enough to create a shield around their fate. A bum on the sidewalk has no one to love him, and is thus a candidate for atrocities.
I've said before that love is never enough. It doesn't pay the bills, it doesn't hold families together, and it doesn't make those we love immortal. That doesn't, however, mean that we should neglect to show those in our lives all the love in the world because love makes any life worth living.
What, to you, is the meaning of love? What do you think is the reason you are wired to love others?
Comments (5)
love is the greatest level of the emotion affection we can have for someone or something, that humans are programmed to feel, but what happens after, how we act and express this emotion is up to the individual.
It would be very detrimental to our species if we weren't wired to experience and act upon love. It would be quite chaotic if we didn't feel obliged to love and work together.
You say that no one knows why love exists...not exactly true. It's not 100% clear of course but it is after all just emotion and we understand emotional phenomenon quite well.
1 Corinthians 13, to me is the meaning of love. And I think God wired us so that we can love and hope to feel love in return. :)
Wonderful article. I love that you
"wanted to date him just so I could show him the way he should be treated."I've experienced that same desire but found that I wasn't perfect in that, something that could be addressed by a related topic.
"It seems like no matter how fiercely we combat this cruelty, it is overtaking all of us. There is no peace, only moments of hate-filled rest during bouts of chaos. How do we keep any sort of goodness in the world when we're attempting to tear one another to pieces?"Your question is very profound. It is actually the fundamental life question we should be asking. It reminds me of the question put forth in a major writing of Nichiren Daishonin, who lived in the 13th century and who clarified the true teachings of Buddhism found in what is known as The Lotus Sutra. In this writing called "Rissho Ankoku Ron" (On Securing the Peace for the Land through the Propagation of True Buddhism) a wayfarer asks him to offer shelter for the night. The wayfarer explains to Nichiren the confounding suffering, hatred, and strife he has seen in the world during his travels. Nichiren explains the cause and the solution.
Nichiren wrote hundreds of letters of encouragement to his followers and several letters of admonition to the government in his time. The Rissho Ankoku Ron was one of the letters of admonition he sent to the government. He was persecuted many times for these admonitions. He was banished 3 times to places where he was expected not survive. There were numerous attempts on his life, including one in which soldiers were sent by the government to take him from his home and behead him. One of his most sincere disciples was allowed to accompany him. This disciple, a samurai named Shijo Kingo was extremely distraught at the fact that Nichiren was about to be killed. Nichiren told Shijo Kingo to not be distraught but to summon up his faith. Nichiren told him this was the moment he'd been waiting his entire life for and through this event he would reveal his true self.
It was late at night when they arrived at the execution ground. As the executioner raised his sword to behead Nichiren a bright light shown in the sky, temporarily blinding the executioner. The soldiers, who already knew Nichiren's reputation of being a great sage cowered and feared to approach him even as Nichiren challenged them to continue with his beheading. He then asked Shijo Kingo to pour saki for the soldiers to calm them down. The soldiers accompanied Nichiren back to his home and before leaving the soldier in town offered his respects and swore he would never again personally attempt to persecute Nichiren.
Your very question was addressed by one of the greatest men to have walked the Earth and he elucidated the answer in no uncertain terms.
"What, to you, is the meaning of love? What do you think is the reason you are wired to love others?"
The answer if found and experienced in the depths of our being that we are all indeed one and connected in the fundamental essence of our lives. Nichiren explained this very clearly, laying the answer out like a perfect blueprint.
If we look at things closely everyone seeks happiness in their lives. When we are children we seek happiness from our parents love. In hoping we get the toys and games we want for Christmas and for birthdays we are seeking happiness. Later we seek happiness through a mate, a career, a marriage, through having children of our own. We seek happiness as we buy a new car or when we "shop until we drop." Some of us seek happiness through financial or political power. Some seek happiness through learning. We seek happiness when we make an appointment to meet a friend for lunch to share the latest goings-on in our lives or the latest gossip about so and so. Even when our actions are illicit such as taking drugs or stealing, we are seeking happiness. Even the murderer thinks has act will bring him relief, another form of happiness, and yes, even your homeless person seeks happiness in that cheap bottle of alcohol called Night Train that will eventually ease him into sleep. However, until we perceive the true essence of our lives none of these actions will bring but fleeting moments of happiness. Fortunately even these actions eventually bring us to your question and the search for true meaning in a world that seems to have gone berserk long before we got here.
My own mother loves to proclaim that the U.S. is the greatest country in the world though she has never once visited another country and despite the fact that she sees upsetting news every day of child abductions, murders, rapes, and robberies as if these things were a major part of our gross national product. Again, this brings us back to your question. This is why I first stated that your question is profound. Most haven't even come to think there is this question to ask.
Nichiren stated that once a woman takes faith in the Lotus Sutra she will attain enlightenment more quickly than a man. What a radical statement even today, much less in 13th century Japan. Shakyamuni, the historical Buddha who lived in India some 3,000 years ago and who first expounded the Lotus Sutra but didn't reveal its essence for reasons I won't go into here, boldly stated that women can attain enlightenment, something unheard of at his time as you can probably well imagine.
One does not have to give up being in a relationship with a mate or buying a new car or one's career to become enlightened. On the contrary it is through living in the world that we must reveal the true essence of our lives which until discovered remains buried. Anyone has the potential to attain enlightenment, no matter what they have done in the past. Even a cave that has been dark for thousands of years is lit for the first time by the smallest of candles.
In a letter of encouragement to a disciple called, "On Attaining Buddhahood" Nichiren wrote, ".... if the minds of living beings are impure, their land is also impure, but if their minds are pure, so is their land. There are not two lands, pure or impure in themselves. The difference lies solely in the good or evil of our minds."
Later in the same letter he wrote, "It is the same with a Buddha and an ordinary being. When deluded, one is called an ordinary being, but when enlightened, one is called a Buddha. This is similar to a tarnished mirror that will shine like a jewel when polished. A mind now clouded by the illusions of the innate darkness of life is like a tarnished mirror, but when polished, it is sure to become like a clear mirror, reflecting the essential nature of phenomena and the true aspect of reality."
If you want to discuss more with me please feel free to contact me. I will share everything I can with you. If not, Keep asking that question and don't give up until you find the answer. Again, brilliant question.
In my personal belief, God sets the standard for us. He wipe the slate clean betweenus and the Father. The Apostle John leaves no room for doubt about ultimate love (John 3:16 and 1 John 3:16). We as human has a problem comprehending a love so intense, where a person would lay down a most prized possession our live for someone else.
Why did Jesus ask Peter three times if he loved Him? He knew without asking. I don't know for sure. Perhaps, he was giving Peter a chance to admit the truth this time.
Only when we fully experience God's love, can we accomplish one of the most difficult tasks we will ever be called to do is to love the unlovable.
agape.
In 1 Corinthian 13, Paul paints a clear picture of agape. In Colossians 3:14 tells us that above all things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfection.
Love suffer long, and is kind, Love envies not, Love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, Does not behave itself unseemly, Seeks not it own, Is not easily provoked, Thinks no evil, Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth,,,,
1John 4:7-21