We are a part of a society that likes to talk, talk, talk –- unceasingly expressing unsolicited opinions. We put our opinions out into the world as if the world depends on them, as if people desperately need to hear from us.
I'm more and more convinced that we talk so much because we hope to be noticed and to see if people will like us. We speak from our insecurities. We hope our unsolicited opinions will be received with praise and acclamation. “How wise you are!” If our opinions are rejected, no worry, we just call everyone who rejected us ignorant. Instead of considering the validity of our opinions we simply forge ahead without modification, judging others for not being as intelligent as us.
This is a problem. In a society of talking heads on TV and blogs like this one all over the Internet, we rarely take time to listen. We are so busy talking that we rarely slow down enough to seek wisdom.
I’ve been reminded by one of
TheGreatBout's recent posts, which lists many poignant words from the book of Proverbs, to seek God’s wisdom –- to keep my mouth shut longer, my ears open longer, and my temper under control. Check out the verses of wisdom and may they find their way into the core of who you are. May you allow the Spirit to work within you to bear the fruit of wisdom, all for the glory of God in Christ.
What has been your experience with others sharing their unsolicited opinions with you? What actions can we take to ensure that we're listening and sharing when appropriate?
Comments (8)
I've allways liked listening and observing more than talking my head off. I've gained a lot from that one wise move of mine.
I usually only say something if i feel it's important. On the other hand, I work with youth, and they seem to share their opinion more often then not. Some of the youth think that just as you said the world depends on their opinion. It seems like they talk just to talk. In order to temper that, I try and teach them that their is a time for everything, especially keeping your mouth closed...
Speaking is silver,
Listening is Gold!
One of my friends, who is due any day now, said she never realized how annoying unsolicited advice can be until she got pregnant. It seems pregnant women more so than other people are magnets for unsolicited advice.
I've definitely been guilty of that in the past. I think it's important to remind yourself that most people mean well, but it's definitely more worthwhile to be a listener until someone specifically asks for your opinion.
Good post.
Having a conversation with someone on the Internet is like talking to someone when you know there is an eavesdropper. Sometimes genuine discussion breaks down to be replaced by soundbites intended for the third party. That makes things difficult.
@hotpinkstarberry@xanga - And a time-tested move that is you share with fewer and fewer people. Keep it up.
@crevis05@xanga - Teaching youth the wisdom of Christian virtues is one (significant) way the church stands as an alternative in the insecurities of the world.
@sarahzthoughts@xanga - Yeah, a young lady in my church just had a baby and she said the same thing. I actually told the church one Sunday after she had the baby to be willing to help out, but wait until the couple asks for it. They aren't too shy to ask.@SirNickDon@xanga - It's kind of like when we pray so that someone within earshot will hear us. We're not really praying to God as much as we are speaking judgments to that person.
I think the occurence of "unsolicited opinions" happen way less than we think. You can always put down the newspaper, magazine, change channel on TV or shut the radio off. If someone starts to talk to you and gives you "unsolicited opinions", you can always politely interrupt them and say, "Sorry, I am late for an appointment", and turn and walk the other way. Or you can confront them directly (again, politely, be nice!) and say, "Well, Thank You for your very thoughtful opinion. I will consider that point of view", and then change the course of the conversation.
People give "unsolicited opinions" for a variety of reasons, mostly because they have had some experience or familiarity with the subject, and want to share their interactions with it. We all want to be heard, to have our opinions and experiences validated. This is human nature. It's also something that I have had to learn to do; keep your mouth shut. It is fine to mention to someone that you have had experience with that subject, or empathize with them, without taking over the conversation or pouring out your life story to a stranger. And of course, each person walks their own path, their journey will be unqiue to them, even if it mirrors yours. But letting people know you have had experience or training, education, etc in a subject, and are open to questions or discussion is an OK thing. I sell my experience and training for a living! It's great to get paid for giving someone your opinion....