"The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing; but in our culture, we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture." ~ Doug Phillips
I have heard people call women with children breeders and all sorts of nasty names. Some people believe that children should never be allowed in certain restaurants and all types of things. Many people seem to hate children. I wonder sometimes if they forget that they were once children themselves.
I just read something written by a person who believes that children should not be allowed in the supermarket. It really makes her mad and puts her in a bad mood.
In America because they are the bearers of children, women are discriminated against in the workplace. They are denied opportunities not just when they have children, but by the very fact that they can have children.
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5)
Do you think the perspective of society toward children is changing? What examples do you see of children and mothers being looked down upon, or not?
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Comments (24)
It definitely seems that in this country and in many others, children are not seen so much as a blessing, but more as an inconvenience, and obstacle to the happiness/goals of the parent. Much of Europe, Japan and Russia is in population decline because of the high rate of abortion and people just not wanting to have children.
As to an example of children being looked down upon in this country, I would say 3500+ abortions a day speaks volumes. Also the difficulty many women have regarding maternity leave from their work, keeping their jobs and being paid while taking care of their newborn baby/babies is just terrible. Babies are such a tremendous blessing; our Lord deigned to be a baby once, we were all saved by a baby! And if babies aren't a blessing, then no one is.
Speaking of which, abcnews.com just posted an article about how 92% of mothers who discover their baby has Down syndrome choose to abort: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_ParentingResource/down-syndrome-births-drop-us-women-abort/story?id=8960803
Concerning your comment about the workplace, feminism will only be truly successful once it recognizes women as individuals who have and bear children. Pushing for abortion rights only harms womankind's true nature as bearers of life. Contemporary feminism is a cop-out. This is not to say that all women do, or must, become biological mothers, but the nature of womankind must nevertheless be respected.
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - Jacob, would you please add my city, Houston, TX, to your prayer intentions? Planned Parenthood is currently building a very, very large late pregnancy abortion facility right here in Houston, in very close proximity to the University of Houston. They are proud that they are "expanding."
There is more information about it here: http://texasfamilies.org/
@Amarisa@xanga - Of course! I will also pass it along to the Students for Life here on campus, as well as to my fellow Texan Jesuit here with me.
children are no longer necessary for survival of the community as they once were. as a woman, i don't want my ability to get preggers to be all that defines me... or even what defines me at all.
@Amarisa@xanga - I couldn't have said it better!!!
As the mother of a almost five month old, I hate the way society views babies --- as an inconvenience/something to schedule into our lives. This is evident in the way mothers are only given 6-12 weeks maternity leave and are expected to "bounce back" immediately following birth. Um, at six weeks postpartum, I was still healing and my baby was still nursing every 1-2 hours. I'm so glad I wasn't expected to return to work! Also, there actually have to be laws in place to protect a mother's RIGHT to breastfeed her child whenever/wherever she wants and look at how we "expect" babies to act --- we schedule their feedings, force them to cry-it-out in a crib, alone at night so they'll not become spoiled....ect. I can't count the number of women who have told me not to hold my baby so much...he'll become spoiled. Some churches don't even allow children/babies in the assembly and instead expect parents to drop them off in the nursery. WHAT??? I can say my child stays with me in the assembly no matter what....I even nurse him in the assembly. If he gets fussy, I stand in the back with him till he is quiet. Babies grow/thrive/need the physical closeness of their mother and father. But our society is not designed for that. I'm proud to say that my baby is with me 24/7...he sleeps in our bed, I wear him or hold him when I'm working around the house (although he's learning to crawl and likes to play on his blanket...), he goes everywhere with my husband and me...no matter what.
Point being, we don't live in a baby friendly society...which is very disappointing and unfortunate.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Agreed. I don't even want kids. Does that somehow make me less of a woman? Of course not.
Hmm. I don't really see any of that. It seems like children are viewed as a personal choice- if you want them, good for you. I'll be annoyed when I have the two year old screaming and throwing food at me in a restaurant, but I've never heard of anyone actually wanting children banned from public places. Kids put me in a bad mood too, but it's simply because their parents are refusing to parent.
I have a hard time with the children thing.Generally, I like children, and I someday want children. But parenting has become progressively lazier and lazier and as a result way too many kids don't behave at all, and so often times I find myself avoiding places where children abound. Along with that, far too many people with absolutely no money or financial stability love to have dozens of children at a time. This does upset me, because although children are in fact a blessing from the Lord, children are also a seriously hefty responsibility.
They are not cats or dogs. They are not chia pets.They are human beings, and parental involvement and stability of home life contribute greatly to who these children become, and who they become will have a significant impact on human society.
So it's not kids that are a curse, its more like unfit/inactive parents are a curse, and this is often manifested through their offspring. I believe irresponsible parenting/family planning belittles the value of children, and ultimately human life. This a way in which people fail to see how much of a blessing children actually are.
@salvatruca_stalking_havok13@xanga - exactly. i value having a full life with a career, friends, etc much more right now. i was not raised to view motherhood as the ultimate role of women, any more than fatherhood is viewed as the ultimate role of men. almost every mother i know thinks less of me because i don't want to be tied down with kids and be a housewife...the only one who doesn't is probably my own.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Yes. I too have a career and such to worry about and even though I was raised in a conservative Latino household, even my family is supporting me in my decisions to not fit into the gender role assigned to me as a woman. Women aren't discriminated against because they have children. They're discriminated against because they're told to be weak and submissive. Any displays of independence that break those gender roles are regarded with disdain. :(
I wouldn't say necessarily that children are a curse these days, but I do think that people are waiting longer and being more cautious about having children. I don't know that I've encountered people who seriously wanted children banned from supermarkets, though I do have to admit that the thought has crossed my mind before (think: unattended children running through a packed Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon).
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - Thank you!
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - I cannot claim my statement as my own original idea, but it's one that I find to have a lot of merit. I must credit Daphne Clair de Jong, and her essay "The Feminist Sell-Out." I read that essay in a book called Prolife Feminism: Yesterday & Today, edited by Rachel MacNair, the former president of Feminists for Life of America. I highly recommend the book. As for the de Jong essay, you can also find it here: http://www.prolife.org.au/articles/abortion_anti-abortion_theology/article_3.php
Congratulations on the birth of your child.
Hm. Well, I think it has shifted slightly, but our views on children have been changing. Children can be a blessing, but not in every context. Now, at 25, if I were to have a child I would weep. I think they are amazing, but no way am I going out of my way to attain one right now.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I totally agree with you :) I couldn't have said it better :)
When my sister was on either her 3rd or 4th child, a coworker of my Brother in Law asked him when he was planning on getting her fixed. My brother in law looked at him, and said "never, she is not broken"
Hmmm, I think I see both extreme ends of the spectrum about children in our society today. Yes, many people do see them as a curse and an inconvenience, but then I also see people who are so obsessed with their kids that they give them their every desire and often ignore their spouses, because their kids are their absolute top priority, to a fault.
Let me say, I LOVE kids. My 5 nieces and 1 nephew mean a ton to me. But it also scares me to wonder whether and to what extent my priorities would change if my husband and I had our own. We've only been married for 3 months, and we both love things so much the way they are, being together and focusing on each other... I think we will stay "just us" for a while longer before we try to have babies. Though I'm sure we'll be happy anytime it happens.
@ProudToBeAChristianFruitcake@xanga - BRAVO for your brother-in-law!!! Fertility is not a handicap!!
Children are a blessing.
Nevertheless some people prefer to wait a bit, God willing to have them!
I think the many cons of having babies is obvious,
changing diapers, feeding, takes enormous amounts of your time and money, ...
There are pro's to kids too:
Kids can at times save a marriage
Everyone has a preferred age, I like toddlers that you can teach stuff! My sister loves babies when they're so small just born. My friend just loves teenagers! He is highly involved in their lives, organizes youthcamps and events for teenagers, because he believes they are at that age where they start understanding their accountability towards God, and towards what they do in life, weather good or bad!
Another person I know, she loves youth, because they are mature to make their own decisions and are seeking what love is, and relationships.
People have different parts of kids that they truly enjoy!
But the center of the matter is,
If you got married to the person you love so very much you would be willing to live or die for that person, and finally you receive from that person whom you love, a child which is 100% you, and a 100% him or her, you will see things in a different light!
Within that little wonder, is a mixture of husband and wife.. A new story just like both of the parents have gone through!
I can understand that people whom are not serious in their relationship(s) with their partner(s), not to understand this.
I can also understand that many people say 'not now'.
But if everyone would be given equal possibility, like the finances, time etc..; that there will be a time in everyone's life that they would want a child..with the one they love!
Just like everyone would want to (one day) get married to someone they truly love...
I see the same things at work. I only have four kids, and people joke about me needing a bus...
I think this article is just tyring to stir up sentiment and trouble. I smell troll. Women have been having babies since time began. Some people see children as a blessing, others do not. It is frustrating to go to a nice restaraunt for a formal dinner, and the next table has two year old twins, in high chairs, screaming and throwing their food, and the parents totally ignore them. Not exactly an ambiance builder. Take them to McDonalds, or better yet, keep them home until they learn good table manners. Same for church. Why bring your 1-2 year old into the service? They have no idea what is going on, their piercing screech tops any good preacher in the pulpit. Most churches have cry rooms, or nurseries. Ours has speakers piped in so a parent with a fussy child can still listen to the music and sermon while attending their child. Pretty hard to concentrate on a message, or hear some youngster play her piano recital piece with a screaming kid nearby.
In America because they are the ..what is the point of that? Kids don't cry in other countries? Why single out America? People in France don't get frustrated when having to stand near someone's out of control child?
As an employer, do I discriminate against hiring 20 and 30 something females because they might get preggers? Nope. Do your job. I don't give a darn if you are male, female, black, white, green, fat, skinny, 36 or 63. Do your job. Come to work. On time. Follow the rules. Do what you are asked, and get paid for what you do. Don't stir up trouble, present a pro-company attitude, or at least a neutral one. You want to badmouth the place or management? Don't want to do your quota for your paycheck? Don't let the door hit you on the way out...
As for large families, my only observation is that when you start having a very large family (say over 5 kids, no twins, that are spaced within say, 2 years of each other) You start really carving into the one-on-one time with each child to parent. I had three, and that was all I could to do spend a little time with each one individually each day, or try to do something special one-on-one each week. Group things, yeah, fine, but it is important that the children have one-on-one time with the parents so they don't feel like "just another kid". Everyone wants to feel special, be heard, have their ideas and opinions validated. My nephew is a minister, subscribes to the "children are a blessing from God" theory, and has 9 kids. They actually do have a bus to haul them around. They have their own baseball team. 5 boys 4 girls. Range from 19 to 5. No twins. Problem is, as a preacher in a small upstate New York village, they are dirt poor. On food stamps, WIC, etc. What are you going to earn with a congregation of about 60? So the kids enjoy hand-me-downs, used toys, gifts from sympathetic families, etc. Frankly he needs to get a new hobby, or menopause needs to arrive quickly. What's the point in popping out another kid? Don't love the others enough? They aren't a good enough "blessing" anymore? Trying to repopulate the earth with new Southern Baptists? 60 year ago, large families were the norm, but mortality rates were much higher, and life expectancy was short. My ancestors three or four generations back all came from large familes (6-14 kids), yet who'd be crazy enough to want to have 14 kids these days? You'd think her utuerus would fall out. Try sitting down to a meal together. Having your own private bedroom? Ha!
In Biblical times, fertility was seen as a blessing, just as "barrenness" was seen as a curse. It was thought that was a direct result of sin against God. Guess they hadn't learned about low sperm counts or blocked Fallopian tubes yet. Amazing how so many people will revert back to the OT, take things out of context or read ther verses lieterally instead of looking for the greater truths. Women were supposed to be stoned to death for adultery too...don't think we're doing that these days...
As for Revelife's little added question... I think what is lacking in todays society are children that are taught manners, and proper public behavior. This is largely due to parents who were never taught manners or proper public behavior. Kids will do what you expect them to. Set high expectations (age appropriate) they are all too eager to please you. Shower them with positive attention when they get it right, they'll try that much harder to do well next time. Sadly, ignorance and apathy are like a cancer, and once they set into a family, it is really hard to root out. Far too many "mom's" either don't care about the kids behavior, or are too unintelligent to realize how embarrasing they and the kids behaviors are. And that breeds another generation of apathy and ignorance. How do you break that circle?
@iheartemo26@xanga - I hope you are able to enjoy four or five years of being a couple before the kiddos arrive. For when they do, you two as a couple will cease to exist for the next 18 years. Try very hard to carve out at least one night a month just for each other. Hire a babysitter, no matter how much you don't want to, and go catch "dinner and a movie". (And don't talk about the kids) If you don't spend at least a minimal time maintaining your marriage, it will be gone before the kids are raised. Remember, before there was kids in your life, there was each other. And when "junior" goes off to college, you don't want to look across that breakfast table and say, "who the hell are you?"
Marriages take work to maintain and grow, just like a potted plant. A little water, a little sunshine, a few kind words occasionally, and they'll hold their own. Lavish attention and they'll thrive. Withdraw attention and they'll die. Same for people and marriages. Good luck.
Psalm 102:18 “Let this be recorded fora generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD.”
Psalm 127:3 “Behold, [Gen 33:5 ] children are a heritage from the LORD, [Deut 28:4] the fruit of the womb a reward.”
Psalm 127:3-4 “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.”
Psalm 8:2 “Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to stillthe enemy and the avenger.”
I am a teacher who loves working with chidren but I do not want to have my own. Year after year, I see children who come to school and CRAVE attention because they don't get any at home. Personally, I think some parents have children to make themselves look better, but don't have the skills to raise them. They are too involved with their own lives to care about the childs' needs. I'm not saying as a generalization about all parents, but it does seem to be happening more and more often.
So, I have decided that God put me on this earth to give all my love and attention to the children I work with at school. I will try to fill in the missing gaps.
I think each and every child is a blessing, I believe you should wait on having one until marriage. I have 5 soon to be 6 siblings and I love them so very much. I would take them over being an only child any day, that is a lonely path.
~Megan