Friday, 16 October 2009

  • God Told Me To

    God Told Me To by Sharon Hodde Miller

    I don’t know about you, but I always get a little wary when someone states that “God told them” to do something. I wanna ask, “Wait a minute, what do you mean God told you? Did He send an angel to you in the night? Did you audibly hear His voice?” All the while thinking, “I don’t think God told you anything. It was probably just a bad burrito.”

    Yet as cynical as I am in the face of these claims, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve basically done the same thing. I may not have admitted openly that “God told me xyz,” but I assumed it in my heart. I just knew I was supposed to marry the guy I was dating, or I just knew I was gonna get that job. I believed in a very powerful way that God had spoken these things to me, and they were going to happen.

    However most of the time, they didn’t.

    Now far be it from me to question the Holy Spirit’s leading in someone’s life. I do know the Holy Spirit will never lead in a way that contradicts Scripture, but if you say that God told you you’re gonna marry a man with brown eyes who loves dogs, then that’s between you and God. What’s more, Scripture does give us examples of people who heard directly from God Himself. We shouldn’t assume He would never do the same today.

    The problem with these claims, however, is that they are tough to distinguish from our emotions. Sometimes we want something so badly that we can’t sort out our desire from the voice of God. And in my own life, desire has been far louder.

    Desire, coupled with imagination, is a powerful influence in the mind of a woman. We can literally convince ourselves of something that is not at all of God, and that is a scary reality. We can convince ourselves that we can date or marry men we shouldn’t, buy things we shouldn’t, or let ourselves off the hook from following God the ways we should.

    All of that to say, here are several ways that God DOES speak to us in a definitive way. If you think God has told you something, how does it line up with the following….

    1. Scripture. As I said, God won’t lead you in a way that contradicts His Word. Maybe the Bible doesn’t say whether or not you should leave your kids with a nanny so you can pursue a career, but what does it say about being a godly mother and wife? Maybe it doesn’t tell you whether Alex is your soulmate, but can he lead you spiritually?

    2. Godly counsel. What are your godly friends and family saying? If they are all telling you the same thing–namely, that a decision is wise or unwise–you should listen. The Holy Spirit uses the people in your life as a vehicle for His voice, so when you fail to heed consistent godly counsel, you are ultimately rebelling against God.

    3. Circumstances. God never told me to marry my husband. But after I spent time getting to know him, learning about his character and how my personality matched with his (among other factors), I prayerfully came to the decision that it was wise to love him as my husband. Had our personalities clashed, that would have been an answer to the contrary. Sometimes our circumstances are clear indicators of God’s leading. If God has shut a door, that is often His way of telling you directly that He has something else in mind.

    #2 and #3 are somewhat flexible since people can give you bad advice, and sometimes our circumstances are meant to teach us perseverance and patience rather than a clear negative answer. But usually there will be an extent to which the above three factors will all align on some level. If, however, you are still struggling to discern the voice of God, the last way He speaks to us is as follows…

    4. Holy Spirit leading. There have certainly been times in my life when God has disquieted my spirit in a way that seemed to be coming from Him. It was usually in contradiction with my desires–perhaps I wasn’t willing to sacrifice as much for my church, or I had my heart set on taking a particular job that I never actually felt a peace about taking. There have also been times when I knew I was making a bad decision, but I did it anyway. That knowledge of the decision’s wrongness was the Holy Spirit.

    While the Holy Spirit can direct our mind and instincts, it’s important to to check these “feelings” against the first three indicators I listed above. If it contradicts Scripture, or if it goes against the advice of godly women, or if circumstances keep getting in the way, then the “feeling” is likely just selfish desire. Otherwise, the leading may be affirmation of all that you already know or have heard from the Holy Spirit’s primary means of communication–His Word, His people and His world.

    All of that to say, God DOES speak to us, every day in fact. But how he speaks to us is usually different from what the words “God told me to” imply. While God can certainly reveal Himself in dramatic ways, He already did so through His Son, and he continues to do so though Scripture and the Church. Many people engage in self-destructive decision making because “God told them to do something,” using it as a guise for doing what they want. At the very least, be honest with yourself and God.

    And for those of us who are so blinded by our desires that even this type of honesty is difficult, remember that the ONLY promises we definitively have are found in Scripture and pertain to the Christian life. God doesn’t need to add to His promises, so be careful in doing so yourself–you may be setting yourself up for heartache and disappointment.

Comments (32)

  • Pickwick12@xanga

    I agree. Good post. God has told me things, but just knowing He said something is far more rare than knowing in the other ways you mentioned.

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    This has nothing to do with just women.

    My parent's attend a retarded charismatic church where they "hear from God" daily. Of course the ones that always "hear from God" and always so humbly brag about it in front of the church are always the same bonehead genius's that cannot get even the simplest direction on which job to work at, which junk car to buy, which foods to eat to prevent cancer so they don't have to spend 20 weeks straight praying for healing, which ministry to give there money too this week so that they can receive there thousand fold return, etc etc etc, the list goes on for miles. lmao!

    Good stuff! You filled my day with laughter. Thank you for that.

  • gelatinemonkey@xanga

    Quiet often, I have found what you mentioned in regards to being "led" by the Holy Spirit as completely true.

    I feel much more comfortable saying, "God told me not to," than I do saying what He may have told me to do.

    God bless,
    ~Scott

  • ButterflyBless@xanga

    Yeah that's true, but take some risks for G-d. Listen to your Heart. If it feels like you are betraying who you sense you are than it is not of G-d because you are a specially designed person. If it betrays your respect of love of yourself at that moment than: it's not the right thing or not the right moment. Living "by the book" with THE BOOK leaves one open to confusion brought on by not completely understanding how to interpret the Law. You live a life until you are old, and when you look back you see that all your "right works" account for nothing. I like the idea of G-dly counsel, but some people are counSelled. And then I totally agree. I don't want to hear, "G-d told me to tell you...in the name of the Father and in the Son and BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!" We do the best we can to help each other out most times tho'. Circumstances, exactly! I learned this one the hard way. G-d isn't going to force you to do anything. But He is your Father. He will "send you to your room" or to the right "school" in life. And also, He makes things feel like destiny when in reality it's that He has been leading you by the Holy Spirit to make right decision that lead you into the circumstances He designed for you. That's what I think.  

  • leadworshipper82

    i have to agree with this post highly... God has chosen to lead His people through the Scripture... and the Holy Spirit will never do anything to go against and dishonor what Scripture mandates...


    so for people to tell me, "God told me..."  or even worse, "I feel like God told me..."  I would flat out say, ok, give me Scripture and verse... even on principle there is a verse to back it up and there would context with which that verse would be backed up by as well... that is how alive the Bible is and we'd be fools not to heed it...

  • Shy___Away@xanga

    My parents told their church that "God had told" them to adopt three kids from Haiti. While this has been a great experience for me, and I love them all dearly, my parents, on the other hand, had a melt down. One of them has been un-adopted, I got kicked out, and the remaining three siblings at home are all desperately trying to get out of the house.

    Some people just can't handle what God told them to do.

  • Pcgecko85@xanga

    you run into to trouble when "god told me to blow up that hospital". 

  • musterion99@xanga

    I agree which is why the bible tells us to prove what God's will is. Romans 12:2 - Good post!

  • subSacred@xanga

    I absolutely agree that God will not lead us to do something that conflicts with scripture. And when it comes to all the little details that scripture doesn't touch, I believe God reveals His will for those areas in ways simpler than many of us like to acknowledge, take #3 for example. Sometimes we like to make it harder than it has to be.

    I have the hardest time with #2, because my experiences in Churches I grew up in have made me rather cynical about human wisdom. I guess the key thing I couldn't find was "consistent" Godly counsel, just all kinds of random bits of advice and even a few "prophetic words", and rarely did they line up with each other, sometimes they didn't even line up with scripture. As I've surrounded myself with a more doctrinally sound crowd, I've found that #2  not only makes more sense to me now, but it can do wonders. Its still a hard thing to let go of, but I'm learning.

  • deepestrecesses

    I like your post and I think, perhaps, the underlying point of this article is that we must "test the spirits to see whether they are from God" as 1 John 4:1 instructs us to, and I agree with that whole-heartedly.


    If it is the Holy Spirit (your option #4) that is speaking to us it will not contradict the Word of God (option #1) and if the "Godly" man or woman lending advice to us is speaking from the Holy Spirit or Word of God, then the Spirits leading will also not contradict Godly advice (option # 2).  Circumstances, however, have always been my least-trusted indicator of Gods will as they are most easily missunderstood.


    Great job at encourage discernment when evaluating Gods calling towards us.

  • Biblerapture@xanga

    This post reminds me of an interesting question I try to ask when I get a chance to poll Christians in a large group setting. "How many of you feel an actual presence (physical) of the Holy Spirit when He speaks, urges, convicts, etc.; and how many of you feel nothing, but know He is speaking, urging, convicting, etc?"


    I get some amazing responses.. Great post.

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    @Shy___Away@xanga - "Some people just can't handle what God told them to do." I hope you are being sarcastic. Are you?

  • Shy___Away@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal@datingish - I've never been more serious. My parents felt God had told them to adopt. So they adopted. Now, the family is in ruins, one of the adopted children has been legally unadopted, I've been evicted, and my three remaining siblings are trying like crazy to get out of the house.

    When you decide to bring in three teenagers of ANY culture, but especially one differing so far from your own, into your home, you need to be sure that you can handle it. You need to be flexible, you need to be patient, and you need to just let things happen sometimes. My parents failed to do any of that, and instead put a rope around everyone's neck and pulled until everyone just wanted to jump.

    Some people cannot handle what God told them to do.

  • musterion99@xanga

    @Shy___Away@xanga - It's also possible that God never told your parents to adopt but they just thought he did. This happens with a lot of Christians. They think God spoke to them when he really didn't. I'm not saying that God didn't speak to your parents, but it's definitely possible that they just thought he did, especially looking at the outcome it produced.

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish
  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish
  • subSacred@xanga

    @musterion99@xanga - @Shy___Away@xanga - 

    I don't want to be that guy that picks at words, but I think it's important to differentiate between what people can handle, and what they don't handle correctly. I don't believe God would call us to do something that we can't handle. Part of being obedient to God is asking Him for help, and if God has truly told us to do something, He will make sure we can do it, if we are faithful and rely on Him.

    But I do believe that God may tell us to do something, and we can drop the ball and do a crappy job.

     Sounds to me like that could be what happened with your folks. Either that, or God just didn't tell them to do it.

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    @Shy___Away@xanga - Thanks for giving me some AWESOME material for my new post! 

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    @subSacred@xanga - Maybe, just "maybe" it's the latter! You think? 

  • Shy___Away@xanga

    @subSacred@xanga - You're probably very right. I think my parents were counting on the fact that God was going to get them through everything without them having to change at all (Mom was always the uptight, OCD type). And when that didn't happen, everything just kind of fell apart.

    Oh well. It doesn't matter to me- I left the church!

    @ChevalierSeingal@datingish - No problem? Should I be worried?

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    @Shy___Away@xanga - I would be more worried about your brain being hijacked then me making fun of you in my new post! 

  • DistantStarlight@xanga

    Very good post!


    Often people use to "God told me to" thing as a tool for spiritual manipulation or at least to fool themselves. This one guy told me God wanted us to date. Later I asked him why and he was because he found out my name means "God's will" so it must have meant I was God's will for him to end up with. Yikes! We hardly knew each other!  Needless to say, by now I am happily married to a different and wonderful guy. It's crazy how easy it is to fool oneself but these principles are super handy when it comes to tough decisions and not being sure about things.
  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    @ChevalierSeingal@datingish - OH U. Hey, remember the, "God told me to run for president." -thing?

    I face-palmed at the fact it actually worked.

    Just WOW. Ugh.

    - Kunoichi

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish

    @DistantStarlight@xanga - God just told me that you are suppose to leave your husband for 1 night and come make a baby with me.

  • ChevalierSeingal@datingish
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About the Author

  • sheworships
    • From: sheworships
    • Name: Sharon
    • About Me: Sharon Hodde Miller is a North Carolina girl, born and raised! She is originally from Charlotte, NC, and she received her undergraduate degree and Masters of Divinity from Duke University. Sharon has worked for Proverbs 31 Ministries where she was a contributing writer to the ministry’s daily devotions and radio broadcasts. She has written for Relevant Magazine’s online articles, Lifeway’s Collegiate Magazine, Ungrind Webzine, and she continues to write and minister to women all over the world about being a Christian woman in an ever-changing culture. Sharon currently lives in Durham, North Carolina with her husband, who is currently pursuing a Master of Divinity at Duke Divinity School. If you would like to contact her regarding a speaking or writing opportunity, if you have any questions, or would like to submit a blog topic, please e-mail her at sharon(at)sheworships(dot)com.
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